Danny80 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Here is a quick question for the girls out there. I wasn't sure which would be the most appropriate area of the forum to post this, but I'm sure it'll be moved if necessary: When you’re out and about and see a guy that you might find attractive, do you spare him a glance, or do you just continue about your business as if nothing happened? The reason I ask is that; I’m a male in my early thirties, and I met my partner when I was a teenager. I was quite a shy kid where girls were concerned, and so previous to meeting my partner, I’d had very little experience with the opposite sex. In fact, that’s probably even an understatement, I’d had no experience! My partner and I are still happy together, and so I really don’t want this question to be perceived in the wrong way. But the issue I have (which I suppose is an issue with my self esteem more than anything) is that never once in my life, other than my girlfriend, have I ever had the slightest inclination that any other female has found me even remotely attractive. You may well question why that matters to me, and I suppose it shouldn’t, but I can’t help taking it as a knock to my self confidence that I’ve never ever turned another girls head. Not once. Never a knowing glance, small smile ar anything of the kind. I suppose I’d describe myself as a relatively nice looking guy (hard to judge that for yourself without sounding big headed), of medium build (used to use the gym quite a lot at one point, and although I don’t now, I’ve still surprisingly managed to retain a decent physique), average height (5’8”), sort-ish hair, sometimes I keep stubble, sometimes not, I think I dress well/stylish, I’m not particularly shy any more, etc etc etc. But the main point I’m trying to get across is, not how brilliant I am, but more that I really can’t see what is so invisible about me. The only thing that I can think, other than the fact that I just don’t have what it takes to turn a girls head, is that girls just don’t look at guys? I’m sure that if there was an equivalent counterpart female to me, meaning.. relatively nice looking, a decent body, average height etc (forget the stubble, lol), that she’d get plenty of looks from guys. So is it just that girls don’t look? I’m certainly not looking for another girlfriend, and I’m not looking to chat other girls up. I suppose it’d just be nice every once in a while to receive a small boost to the ego, self confidence, call it what you will, to raise the self esteem now and then. I’d imagine this sort of thing happens for the majority of girls all the time (I’ve seen it happen to my own girlfriend in the past.. nothing inappropriate, just a harmless look here and there and I see her smile to herself, and I’m pleased for her.. I really am), and it’s probably even taken for granted by a lot of girls, or even seen as annoying at times, but a little ego boost here and there really goes a long way. I’m sure you’d miss it if it never happened, and I’m referring to people both with and without partners. It must be a nice feeling? I don’t even really know what my question to you is, I suppose it’s something like; do girls glance at guys they might find attractive? If so, does the guy need to be super good looking, or have some amazing, stand out quality about them? If not, then what on earth would it take to turn your head? I obviously don’t have the answer. I’d love to hear some of your thoughts?
pteromom Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Do YOU "spare a glance" at them? There are some women who are more assertive with flirting and smiling at men, but mostly, we are REACTIVE. A guy smiles at us, and we smile back. We catch him looking, so we bat our eyelashes and steal a glance back his way. So - if you are not really looking at women and trying to flirt, you shouldn't expect to get a lot back from women. Now, if you have actively flirted in the past and the women scurried away, then maybe you have something to worry about. 3
pteromom Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Women are also MUCH better at appreciating attractive men without making it obvious. 6
Revan32 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Says he has a quick question, writes 9 paragraphs. I'm not a girl, but I am a decent looking guy. So I can tell you, yes, girls do look. Some you'll just notice looking at you then drop their eyes as soon as you notice. Other's will grab your arm or pinch your ass when you're walking around a club. I've even had girls stare at me while making out with their boyfriends at a club. So yeah, if you're an above average guy, girls (especially while drunk) will make it obvious they like you. I'm not saying you're bad looking, you probably just don't stand out enough to elicit any special responses. 2
darkbloom Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Maybe it's the way I was raised, but as a girl I do not give a second look to hot guys. I keep my head up and if a hot guy passes me I will glance, But I don't stop and turn.
Mrin Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 This is all highly dependent upon culture but in my experience... If a guy can tell a woman is checking him out, it is because she wants him to know. Women can tell if other women are checking a guy out for sure. I've had some of my good female friends do the whole "you didn't notice her checking you out"" talk with me and it cracks me up because I totally missed it. We dudes go through life like we have a box of four different colored crayons. Women have one of those 128 box sets with the built in sharpener.
Author Danny80 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Do YOU "spare a glance" at them? There are some women who are more assertive with flirting and smiling at men, but mostly, we are REACTIVE. A guy smiles at us, and we smile back. We catch him looking, so we bat our eyelashes and steal a glance back his way. So - if you are not really looking at women and trying to flirt, you shouldn't expect to get a lot back from women. Now, if you have actively flirted in the past and the women scurried away, then maybe you have something to worry about. Thank you for those interesting points, I will bear them in mind. I do look at women yea sure, but if they catch me, I tend to look away as to not seem like a creep, after all, they are likely only looking my way in reaction to me looking at them. I don't see any other reason for it. Says he has a quick question, writes 9 paragraphs. I'm not a girl, but I am a decent looking guy. So I can tell you, yes, girls do look. Some you'll just notice looking at you then drop their eyes as soon as you notice. Other's will grab your arm or pinch your ass when you're walking around a club. I've even had girls stare at me while making out with their boyfriends at a club. So yeah, if you're an above average guy, girls (especially while drunk) will make it obvious they like you. I'm not saying you're bad looking, you probably just don't stand out enough to elicit any special responses. Yes I did intend it to be a short post when I started writing, but it went on longer than expected, lol. It made me laugh when I read it back through after posting! You're a lucky guy to be so good looking and to have those experiences. possibly my trouble is that I don't spend time in clubs with drunk women. A few years back I operated security in a nightclub in town, but to be honest I didn't get to spend much time in it.. it was more of a case of me removing people from it. But that's another story Thank you for your response
darkbloom Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 This is all highly dependent upon culture but in my experience... If a guy can tell a woman is checking him out, it is because she wants him to know. Women can tell if other women are checking a guy out for sure. I've had some of my good female friends do the whole "you didn't notice her checking you out"" talk with me and it cracks me up because I totally missed it. We dudes go through life like we have a box of four different colored crayons. Women have one of those 128 box sets with the built in sharpener. Absolutely to the 128 box set with the built on sharpener. A+++ for a perfect metaphor.
SycamoreCircle Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 possibly my trouble is that I don't spend time in clubs with drunk women.That's not anyone's trouble. Turning heads in a night club is tantamount to cleaning the cheese out from underneath one's toenails. 1
Revan32 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 That's not anyone's trouble. Turning heads in a night club is tantamount to cleaning the cheese out from underneath one's toenails. Lol While night clubs do suck, they are probably one of the purest ways to tell your looks level. Girls are at their lowest inhibitions, and are dressed up to their max. If you do well in the club, you're probably pretty good looking.
mrs rubble Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Stick a photo of yourself on here & I'll rate you.
SycamoreCircle Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Night clubs are bastions of affected hyper-femininity and hyper-masculinity. I would never recommend someone go there to experience something genuine or to boost their self-confidence. Will making out with some random girl, with a Kim K. lisp who's popping out of a Forever 21 one-piece, and the following week of flaky, frustrating texts that lead nowhere give a guy any sense of self-awareness or accomplishment?
Author Danny80 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Stick a photo of yourself on here & I'll rate you. Couldn't do that, lol.. I know it's a long shot, but imagine if someone who actually knew me used this forum.
preraph Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 It's kind of like with guys. If a guy is extremely good looking, they find it hard not to look. If he's more or less decent looking, average, they might not look more than a glance especially if he's with a woman. But yes, girls look.
bolase Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 I think maybe its a generational thing... I'm 30 and I've never really made it obvious that I'm checking out guys. As another poster said; we're reactive. If I guy is checking me out and I'm interested, I will smile at him. Otherwise I'll only check out a guy if he doesn't know I'm looking. 1
Eggplant Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 I'm a 100% straight woman, but what I will glance at is a very well-dressed or just genuinely beautiful woman. As far as men, the more attracted I am, the less I look, out of shyness. 1
todreaminblue Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 I agree with pteromom ....about reactive...to every action there is an equal reaction.....i think that applies a lot in interaction.....between the sexes...they say that interest can be shown by mirroring a person when interacting with them.....what i have found is if you go too deep into everything....that you are not in the moment and you are worried more or concerned more about exactly where your pinky finger is pointing...i actively try to relax and not notice everything.. i think you shouldnt worry about who is noticing you...it really isnt that important as you have someone who cares for you and who you care for....who notices you plenty....good luck.....deb
mysteryscape Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 If not, then what on earth would it take to turn your head? I obviously don’t have the answer. Danny, long ago, I was painfully shy like you. Despite evidence to the contrary, I was sure that normal females were not interested in looking at me. Part of the change started when a close relative of mine started pointing out to me while walking around that women were checking me out. Attractive women. I didn't have a clue. I began to observe more closely and found that what my relative was saying was true. It helps enormously to learn to engage or flirt with them while in public. Start with your eyes and a smile, that is most of it. As you start to get the hang of it, you will notice that you are getting results.
venusishername Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 When you’re out and about and see a guy that you might find attractive, do you spare him a glance, or do you just continue about your business as if nothing happened? I don’t even really know what my question to you is, I suppose it’s something like; do girls glance at guys they might find attractive? If so, does the guy need to be super good looking, or have some amazing, stand out quality about them? If not, then what on earth would it take to turn your head? I obviously don’t have the answer. Well, yes if I see a man I find attractive I can't help but look. Usually will meet eyes and smile. Sometimes if I find him REALLY attractive, I get nervous and keep my eyes down and get shy. It's a confidence thing. Lately I've had no problem walking past a guy and then turn my head and watch him pass. Sometimes I find myself looking so hard I might run into a parking meter! 2
smackie9 Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 I got busted by my ex and he gave me crap later for staring at this dude......he was wearing tight pants, I reaalllllllllly couldn't stop looking at.....
dcannon Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Women check me out all the time, and I get approached relatively frequently. As one example from yesterday: I was walking into a national chain coffee shop. For whatever reason, I felt particularly good. I noticed as I was walking in, I could see a young woman's reflection in the mirror. She was staring at me, but waited until I had passed before she started to check me out. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open like an "O." She kept staring and staring until I opened the door and went into the shop. She thought she was pulling a fast one but I saw it all go down.
Buddhist Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Here is a quick question for the girls out there. When you’re out and about and see a guy that you might find attractive, do you spare him a glance, or do you just continue about your business as if nothing happened? Females look but we just don't openly ogle the way guys do. We wait until you're busy doing something else to check your stuff out. Also having another female on your arm is the universal signal not to look. If you're not available then there is no point in even going there visually. When I'm perving I'm doing it in a nanosecond as well, one glance is enough to take it all in and I won't be returning my gaze there unless I want to be caught checking your stuff in out in the hopes it will lead to you chatting to me. I'm a stealth perver, I will lock target from a great distance and then stalk, and take in the scenery in a single pass without him ever knowing. I'm like the advance scout on a mission rather than the advancing force. There are two types of perving I engage in. - Secret perving where I just want to satisfy my eye lust but have no intention of engaging the guys attention. - Come get me perving, where it's an obvious play for his attention and hopefully lots of pheromones are wafting into the air to signify my lust.....or maybe just intoxicate him enough to get away with something cheekier. You are probably just oblivious to any perving that is going on. Women are like ninja's at this, it's not your fault. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Wear some shades in the summer and you can check people out all you want:laugh: 1
Buddhist Posted February 17, 2015 Posted February 17, 2015 Night clubs are bastions of affected hyper-femininity Youtube attention whores and hyper-masculinity gay guys. You're welcome.
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