wed4ever Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 What do you think is the number one reason for unhappy marriages? I know there are many for sure but if you could sum it up in one sentence what would it be? I think a big one is power struggle. Some marriages might be 50/50 and others 80/20. Male or female being on top. I think my marriage is pretty close to 50/50 but with my wife wearing the pants a little more at times tbh. That is fine with me because she is a loving caring woman who makes good decisions. Sometimes it works out better if I let her have her way and decide to be happy with it. I know many people look down on a man who isn't alpha all the time but it seems to work great for our marriage if I do in fact submit from time to time. Oh, and I find it sexy too!
Mr.D.E.B.T. Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I think the number one reason is a lack of faith in the other persons ability to bring joy and happiness into the marriage. 1
Author wed4ever Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 I think the number one reason is a lack of faith in the other persons ability to bring joy and happiness into the marriage. Damn that's a good summary. How about, always believing the grass is greener on the other side. 1
Mr. Lucky Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I think the number one reason is a lack of faith in the other persons ability to bring joy and happiness into the marriage. I think waiting for your partner to bring you joy and happiness is a recipe for resentment and marital disaster. I'm in charge of my own happiness and it's my job to find joy in the everyday interactions with my spouse. I think the number #1 reason is entitlement, specifically asking more of your spouse than you ask of yourself... Mr. Lucky 4
Mr.D.E.B.T. Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I think waiting for your partner to bring you joy and happiness is a recipe for resentment and marital disaster. I'm in charge of my own happiness and it's my job to find joy in the everyday interactions with my spouse. I think the number #1 reason is entitlement, specifically asking more of your spouse than you ask of yourself... Mr. Lucky Mr. Lucky, you've made my point. Thinking like this, which stems from believing someone else is responsible for your happiness, will cause an unhappy marriage. That's entitlement.
Author wed4ever Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Unhappy people will be unhappy no matter what. If a person is unhappy in life before marriage they will continue that trend. I'm speaking of people who are chronically unhappy. I know marriage situations are all different.
todreaminblue Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 i think secrets however little they start....harboring resentment for instance....and saying things are fine when they are not ...causes unhappy marriages...that and dishonesty which also covers secrets....i also think entitlement and not wanting to bring a partner joy and happiness is a definite cause for unhappiness to fester...i think selfishness destroys marriages too.......deb
Author wed4ever Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 and not wanting to bring a partner joy and happiness is a definite cause for unhappiness to fester What do you mean in that part? Are there actually people out there who resent a spouse who is happy? Do they go out of their way to make them miserable? I know people do that to enemies but their own spouse? That's pretty heavy. Sad if true.
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Not trusting your partner will lead to bigger issues. Also, if you were unhappy before the marriage I'm sure you will carry that over. You have to find happiness in yourself before you can make someone else happy.
Got it Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Healthy communication and conflict resolution skills by both parties. Prioritizing the concept of partnership and teamwork.
Thegameoflife Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Self-image. Different ideas of relationship dynamics. Personal disciplines. Lack of problem solving skills and flexibility. Lack of life balance. These things cover pretty much all marital issues I've seen here. Mentally underdeveloped partners create marital problems.
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