seanster138 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Something has been bothering me recently. I'm a guy, soo i have been friends with this girl who happens to be a lesbian. I would say she is a girly girl lesbian but not a butch, (if that make sense) So basically, when i first met her, she was already in a relationship. But her spouse to me, never use to treat her well. Sometimes it bugs me, to see that, because she is not only gorgeous, but she is an amazing person, but at the same time, its none of my business. Anyways, they had gotten engaged, and then they ended up breaking up for ago a year. I know after the break up, she tried dating again, but things never really worked out. Anyways after that time, we hung out on and off, go out to eat, chill, take random drive outs, i would pick her up from work.... etc. I am normally very busy, between work, school and my side business. Now, recently, (after a year) i found out , not from her, that she has gotten back with her her ex girlfriend, but she is keeping it on the low. I am from the Caribbean and considered, well mannered, respectful, very mature, i don't swear and i am a bit of nerd. Compared to how she acts around her friends, when she hangs out with me, she acts 100% different when we are out together, like, she is well mannered, very very polite, she becomes a very keen listener when we are talking, to hell she even if not always allows me to cook for her(cause i love cooking). Sometimes i think i treat her like my girlfriend minus the PDA. Now this is my concern, now yesterday i picked her up from work, on my way from school. We both agreed that i was going to cook lunch for us. In the car, i noticed she was talking on the phone, so out of respect, i turned the music down (not too low but low enough for someone to have a conversion). So apparently she was talking to her ex girlfriend(who she now seeing) she was talking very soft, throughout the entire trip. Anyways, it was none of my business. A half way through the drive, she kept saying on the phone to her how tired she ways, and kept forcefully yawning(fake). As we got closer to my place, she kept saying to her GF on the phone" arent you ready to go to bed yet, YAWNS * i am tired ". It was as if she was trying get her off the phone. I triend ignoring it once again, and turn the stero up a little. Anyways as we got closer to my place, she then kept saying on the phone, "i couldnt hear the last thing you said, looks like the phone is breaking up cause im getting closer to my home ( ahhh, that's a lie, you live 4 miles in the other direction) Anyways, we got to my place, and she was still on the phone, and she said ohh, i just got home now (very softly so that i wouldn't hear, but i heard), i wished i didn't. Why is she doing this?, why not just tell her she is with a male friend, instead of lying to her ex-gf who she got back with? why is she hiding that she got back with her ex-gf from me? Does she like me? is she confused? i mean i felt like i came between she and her ex-gf yesterday My thing is, i do have a huge crush on this girl, but because of circumstances beyond my control, things between us will never work out. The friendship we have, i would say is affectionate but not sexual (platonic) And in the past she did admit to liking me, and she even said many many moons ago that things between could work out if i had a female part (lol), and yes she has been with guys in the past What do you guys think?
Chi townD Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Dude, you have a big problem. Your a guy and straight she is a girl and a lesbian. You're filling yourself up with false hope. I think the only thing you witnessed is her trying to get off the phone with her girlfriend for whatever reason. Probably because she's starting to lose interest in her again. There's a saying, "there's a reason why our Ex's are our Ex's" I think she might be experiencing that now. But, that conversation had NOTHING to do with you or the way she feels about you. Dude, don't get emotionally invested. I think it's a lost cause. If you can be friends with her then great. But, I think that's about as far as you're going to get. Even if she did show interest in you and some things happen. She won't be able to deny her attraction to girls and she may end up cheating on you. Move on from this, dude. Save yourself from those thoughts. 1
Author seanster138 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 definitely 100% agree with you. I know this is a path i do not want to go down with her. As i said, i know it would never work out between us, that i am 100% aware of. I just don't want to see her get hurt again.
Chi townD Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 definitely 100% agree with you. I know this is a path i do not want to go down with her. As i said, i know it would never work out between us, that i am 100% aware of. I just don't want to see her get hurt again. People lead their own lives and they may not see things the way you see them and you can see the train wreck coming from a mile away. But, sometimes people tend to fall flat on their face and the only thing you can do is support them and help them pick up the pieces after they fall. But, sometimes you can't stop them from falling and the more you try to help them, the more they push away. I can't tell you how many times people have said to me, "You know what? You were right. I should have listened to you." But, at that point, it isn't time to say, "I told you so!" It's time to say, "Water under the bridge. Lets solve this problem." That's where you get to be the most supportive. 1
Author seanster138 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 People lead their own lives and they may not see things the way you see them and you can see the train wreck coming from a mile away. But, sometimes people tend to fall flat on their face and the only thing you can do is support them and help them pick up the pieces after they fall. But, sometimes you can't stop them from falling and the more you try to help them, the more they push away. I can't tell you how many times people have said to me, "You know what? You were right. I should have listened to you." But, at that point, it isn't time to say, "I told you so!" It's time to say, "Water under the bridge. Lets solve this problem." That's where you get to be the most supportive. So true, just as the old saying, "if you cant hear, your going to have to feel". I will definitely keep this in mind.
kendahke Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 unless she's bi, you are just a friend and nothing more is going to come of this.
Author seanster138 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 unless she's bi, you are just a friend and nothing more is going to come of this. i use to think she is bi, but she says she is a lesbian, but i could be wrong
devilish innocent Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 She strikes me as immature for lying to her partner about where she's going to be. From what you've said, it's possible that she thinks her girlfriend would be jealous of her spending time with you. She doesn't want to deal with that, so she makes up other excuses. I just think she can't be upfront with somebody then she shouldn't be in a relationship with them. You're making her out to be the victim in this situation, but she's a willing participant. 1
Recommended Posts