Girl246 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years, and have broken up before but always seem to find our way back to eachother but this time is different..The last time I saw him was 2 weeks ago and we were absolutely fine and as happy as ever. The next day we got into an argument over text about something stupid and he just randomly said to me that he hadn't been happy in our relationship for a month and wanted to break up. He did this all over text and I actually havnt seen him face to face since. This came as a huuuuuge shock to me as we were absolutely fine. Since then he told me he wants space to "work things out" and hasn't text / called in 7 days and neither have I. I just feel as if I shouldn't message him as he was the one to ask for space? He is really stubborn and if I don't text first we won't speak at all. I have never ignored him for this long I usually crack.. My issue is that I want my stuff back from his house and I want to clear his stuff from my house but how do I do that because I don't want to be the first to break no contact... In his eyes that would mean he "wins" as such (as he views it as a game) ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE I'm literally depressed over this.
mightycpa Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Pack his stuff, put it in a box, and have a friend take it to his place. Include a few empty moving boxes with your delivery, and have the friend ask the ex to return the favor. Like this: Girl246 asked me to bring your things back to you. She also asked if you could pack her stuff up and get it back to her soon. Here's some extra boxes you can use.That is some cold ****, is that what you're looking for?
Author Girl246 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 It's just hard because It doesn't feel over because I havnt seen him yet... I have deep feelings for him but I feel I should stick to this break up to show him that I am worth more than this...
mightycpa Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 So, what part of this don't you understand? he hadn't been happy in our relationship for a month and wanted to break up. He did this all over text I'm betting it is this: Since then he told me he wants space to "work things out" If you look this up in the breakup dictionary, it means I want you to remain a viable option while I explore my other options. You're the safety net.
Author Girl246 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 I understand you quite clearly, no need to be rude about it. Cool thanks.
mightycpa Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I understand you quite clearly, no need to be rude about it.Yeah, that was a little harsh, and you are going through a rough time. Sorry. Just be careful about reading too much into the words that soften the blow. Good luck. 1
Author Girl246 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 I would like to know whether I should break the NC and chat to him face to face as its all been over text. Maybe it would seem more real to me if he said this all to me in person? Opinions ?
Zahara Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I would like to know whether I should break the NC and chat to him face to face as its all been over text. Maybe it would seem more real to me if he said this all to me in person? Opinions ? First of all, he did by text because he's a coward. He couldn't bear the guilt of telling you face to face. Face to face or text -- it doesn't change the message. Face to face doesn't change the FACT -- he has been unhappy for a month and wants to end it. Believe him.
FLBuccaneer Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 It really hasn't been that long, especially if you both have broken up before. That sting of a breakup isn't as strong since those sacred words have been used in the past and as you state, you find each other again. I recommend disappearing for a while (30 days) minimum with no contact and ignore any breadcrumb that is thrown at you during this time. Let him fester on the decision he made. Remember one important thing, the guilt is squarely on his shoulders and there is nothing you can say or do to change his decision. The only thing you can do during this breakup is analyze what you could have done better so at least there is some productivity with your time away. Other than that, you need to just keep yourself busy and find things that you enjoy doing by yourself. I mean it, GO OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE and do something you wouldn't think you would do alone, it's amazing how gratifying that can be for your inner self.
Mi7522 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 I would like to know whether I should break the NC and chat to him face to face as its all been over text. Maybe it would seem more real to me if he said this all to me in person? Opinions ? You have to realize that the relationship is over. He does not want to see you. Be a ghost and live your life! If he wants you back he will make sure you know
Elle1975 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Often after a break up we go into "panic mode". Surely, if you get a chance to talk to him, he will change his mind? But it's quite the opposite. I know it's hard to find yourself without him, and it's a process to get over someone, try and take it one day at a time.
sabd Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Girl, mightycpa is right. Have a friend help you out by taking his stuff to him and getting yours back for you. So don't break NC! As hard as it is to accept a breakup that you didn't see coming happening in such a cowardly manner (text), the end result is the same and seeing him face to face is not going to change that. Closure is something most of us never get and we just have to find a way to accept the fact that its over. I don't know what his reasons for needing "space" are but 9 times out of 10, this doesn't lead to any kind of reconciliation. My guess is he doesn't want to deal with the consequences of his decision (take responsibility for the breakup - he's a coward, remember?) so having you out the way makes things a whole lot easier for him. You need to be tough - acknowledge and accept that things are over, arrange for a friend to help you, continue with NC and work through the hurt, for as long as it takes. Strength and love x
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