CarrieT Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 The roses are already ordered. Her favorite variant. It's done. The florist has not made nor delivered the arrangement. They could be changed. Not sure why you are so flippant about the "we all make mistakes/live-and-learn" philosophy when EVERYONE here is telling you it is a mistake and you have time to rectify it... Why set yourself up for failure? 1
Author broken2828 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 I'm not trying to buy love. That's disgusting. I'm trying to flatter a pretty young woman on v day and make her feel special. I'll do me. If she doesnt like me, its best to figure that out now. If she really does like me, buying her roses wont ruin everything. It might set me back, but oh well.
Author broken2828 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Also, i take the advice here with a grain of salt. Not sure how qualified you all are to be giving advice, nor do you fully understand the situation. If im a bit flippant, perhaps its because i am. Shes just a girl who im iinfatuated with. All i can do is show her me. If she doesnt like it, well, thats a bit sad but not the end of the world. If 99 out of 100 girls wouldnt like it, i just neeed to find that 1.
PogoStick Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Hell, I only send roses to my mother, and that happens once or twice a decade. Is it romantic to be a capitalist sheep?
PogoStick Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Ok you want something to put on the card? How about: "The gods wept with envy on the day you were born." I think that sums up your feelings pretty well. If you're going to be cheesy, might as well go all in.
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Despite the fact that everyone here is telling you not to do it, you are hellbent on doing it. You are the kid who after his mom says don't touch the hot stove still gets his hand burned. Flowers can be cancelled. Look at this from a selfish perspective, if you do 2 dozen roses before you are a couple, how the heck are you going to top it next year (if you do manage to woe her)? You are digging your own grave here dude. I love grand romantic gestures but I would be freaked out if my Husband got me two dozen roses for Valentine's Day. I would also question his intelligence. The price of roses skyrocket in February & IMO anybody who wastes money on them this time of year is nuts. I love it when DH gets me flowers all the rest of the year. But not at Valentine's Day. I like the message about thinking of a special person on Valentine's Day. At the very least, only do one dozen roses. You will save money when she dumps you. For your sake I do hope it works out but I have serious doubts about the possibility of success.
Author broken2828 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Yeah, going to tone it down to a dozen i guess. I needn't top anything, only match it. I've always done the holidays big, even in the context of a long term relationship. If it gives you a better idea of who i am, ill be buying another boquet. I had this discussion with a female friend of mine who was really upset nobody ever gets her anything, so im arranging to have a small arrangement sent to her anonymously. I just like to spread happiness.
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Yeah, going to tone it down to a dozen i guess. I needn't top anything, only match it. I've always done the holidays big, even in the context of a long term relationship. If it gives you a better idea of who i am, ill be buying another boquet. I had this discussion with a female friend of mine who was really upset nobody ever gets her anything, so im arranging to have a small arrangement sent to her anonymously. I just like to spread happiness. You sound like a nice guy. However, when this Girl you are trying to court finds out you also sent flowers to another girl on Valentine's Day she won't take it well. Sending the flowers anonymously is also bad. That woman will be left wondering & if she ever figures out it was you, both she & the girl you like will think you had romantic intentions. If you aren't prepared to sign your name, that is an indication that what you are doing is wrong. As sweet gestures go, sign the card & write, I wanted my friend to smile on Valentine's Day. I hope this is the year you find romance. 2
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 You sound like a nice guy. However, when this Girl you are trying to court finds out you also sent flowers to another girl on Valentine's Day she won't take it well. Sending the flowers anonymously is also bad. That woman will be left wondering & if she ever figures out it was you, both she & the girl you like will think you had romantic intentions. If you aren't prepared to sign your name, that is an indication that what you are doing is wrong. As sweet gestures go, sign the card & write, I wanted my friend to smile on Valentine's Day. I hope this is the year you find romance. Totally agree here. I think for the female friend it would be more appropriate to send a small arrangement (NOT ROSES!!!!) with a small card with something friendly to say =) NOT ANONYMOUS! lol. 1
Zahara Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Yeah, going to tone it down to a dozen i guess. I needn't top anything, only match it. I've always done the holidays big, even in the context of a long term relationship. If it gives you a better idea of who i am, ill be buying another boquet. I had this discussion with a female friend of mine who was really upset nobody ever gets her anything, so im arranging to have a small arrangement sent to her anonymously. I just like to spread happiness. If you are still adamant about sending flowers, how about flowers other than red roses? Lillies? You both aren't in a relationship, but seeing that it may end up being so in the future, how about you tone it down and just let it happen naturally? I say that because the fact that you admitted to being needy only solidifies the fact that you may use these grand gestures to buy someone's affection. No one can make you do anything so going back to your question -- the only reason I pick the first note is because it's short. The second note is just over the top.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Over the top romantic gestures and neediness are one way to ensure that your feelings are crushed after being rejected. 1
Author broken2828 Posted February 15, 2015 Author Posted February 15, 2015 Well, you guys were right. She didn't like it. Oh well. Lesson learned.
CarrieT Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 I am genuinely sorry to hear it... Can I ask what the response was - and if you will be talking to her again?
Author broken2828 Posted February 15, 2015 Author Posted February 15, 2015 At first she was kinda lukewarm, then she said it was over the top for people in our situation. She said more, but I just dont feel like typing it all out. That's the jist, though. Basically it made her as uncomfortable as everyone here said it would. Probaby made me look needy, too. She did message me this morning, though. And keeps messaging me.
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 Well, you took a chance. It didn't work out. One good thing: She is clear & she is polite. That tells me you at least pick quality women. You can build your future from there but not with her. Second thing, what have you learned from this? It will be painful but take some time for introspection. See what you can do differently with your next relationship. 2
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Oh well, I guess I can respect that you swallowed your pride to let us tell you we told you so sorry it didn't work out. Sounds like she might still be into you, just gotta play it cool. 1
Author broken2828 Posted February 16, 2015 Author Posted February 16, 2015 (edited) Where do I go from here? I was thinking scale back contact/sweet talk and go on a few dates with other girls. I hate that this is some kind of game. :/ I'm not good at it. Just got dumped after a 5 year relationship months ago. So, I havent flirted or tried to woo anyone in a very long time. Donnivan, id say what i learned is women enjoy doing some chasing. Edited February 16, 2015 by broken2828
CarrieT Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Where do I go from here? I was thinking scale back contact/sweet talk and go on a few dates with other girls. That is an excellent idea; meet other people and don't get yourself all tied up with one person until the feelings are mutual. I hate that this is some kind of game. :/ Welcome to the world of dating. I'm not good at it. Honestly, no one is in the beginning - or sometimes ever. It is *hard* work and I wasn't comfortable with it until my 40s. Just got dumped after a 5 year relationship months ago. You may not be ready yet. Getting over a relationship takes time... So, I havent flirted or tried to woo anyone in a very long time. Then don't "woo anyone." Just date - which means meeting girls and just getting to know them as PEOPLE before starting and going all overboard with romance. Save the romance and grand gestures when you are sure there is something there to build upon. Donnivan, id say what i learned is women enjoy doing some chasing. Some women do and some women don't. That is the part of dating you will learn: Not investing yourself into someone so fast and quickly before you learn their particular foibles.
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2015 Posted February 16, 2015 Where you go from here is forward. She's part of your past. Give yourself some time to heal because you haven't really grieved for the loss of this relationship yet. Until this weekend you thought there was hope for reconciliation. Now that you know there is not, you have to figure out a way to go on without her.
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