rockmanmegaman Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I feel really horrible but I find my dad really annoying. I don't know why, but he likes to repeat things over and over again. e.g. When eating food, he'll ask me whether the food he cooked taste good. I would say it does. He would then keep asking me the same question over and over again. To the point where I really want to tell him to shut up, as it's getting really annoying and aggravating. However, I always try to keep calm because I know he cares about me and my siblings, and also the fact that he is old and he wants to feel like he's doing something right... I honestly want to cry when i think about things like this... Anyway, today, I found out that he got suspended from work because he lost all his merits on his license (he works as a deliveryman). He started talking to me about starting his own business. When I heard that, I began to get really, really, really upset. The thing is, few years ago, my dad tried to open his business but it failed miserably (e.g. he got scammed, no one bought the products, etc). Back then, my brother and I knew the business won't go well, but it was good to see him wanting to do something (instead of just lying around the house and playing on computer). Because of that, we let him go through with it, and because of that, the business failed. Now he wants to start a business again... He started talking to me about how easy it would be and stuff (even though, I know it won't work). I really want to tell him to stop being stupid, but I know he'll get upset if I do. Anyway, he then kept going on and on and on about the same thing over and over and over again. It got to the point where I was clearly showing I'm not interested in the conversion, and kept on bugging me about it! I don't want to be part of a conversation about a topic that I don't want to hear about (him starting a business again). It got to the point where I have to walk out of my room, and get out of the conversation. I feel really terrible afterwards... I don't know, I'm just really conflicted. I really just want to cry sometimes... I want to cry because: - I know my dad feels that he is useless, and that he just wants to be successful. - I know my dad knows that his plan will fail, but still want to go through with it because there's a glimmer of hope... - I know my dad isn't happy with his life, and he feels that if his business is successful, his life will suddenly be a lot better. - I know my dad feels lonely, and I'm too impatient to handle him. - I know my dad is old, and I know he feels that doesn't have much time left in the world, and that he just wants to do something... Something that he is proud of before leaving this world... - I feel like I couldn't do anything to help. I feel like by the time I graduate from Uni, he'll be gone.
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 You are his kid, not his parent. You can't tell him what to do. If you know what went wrong in the business last time, talk to him about it. Encourage him to write a formal business plan before plunking down any money. Buy him a book about writing business plans. Discuss how his suspended drivers' license will affect the business. Other that that, keep assuring him that his food tastes good, be a loving child & live your own life. BTW, since you said you are in uni & the tone of your post makes you sound young, how old is your dad? I suspect he's not that old so I would encourage you to stop calling him old, especially if he's not 80. People are loving longer & being more vibrant after 60. 2
Author rockmanmegaman Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 You are his kid, not his parent. You can't tell him what to do. If you know what went wrong in the business last time, talk to him about it. Encourage him to write a formal business plan before plunking down any money. Buy him a book about writing business plans. Discuss how his suspended drivers' license will affect the business. Other that that, keep assuring him that his food tastes good, be a loving child & live your own life. BTW, since you said you are in uni & the tone of your post makes you sound young, how old is your dad? I suspect he's not that old so I would encourage you to stop calling him old, especially if he's not 80. People are loving longer & being more vibrant after 60. he's almost 70.
anika99 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 What is the worst thing that could happen if your dad pursues his business ideas? If there's no danger of a harmful outcome then let him take whatever happiness he finds in that venture. My mom is only 68, she is in a wheelchair and has multiple physical health problems. She really has no life at all anymore and nothing would make me happier than to see her in good health and making plans for the future. Be thankful that your dad is still in good physical and mental health. That being said I understand that it can be annoying to live with someone who is difficult to communicate with. All I can recommend is that you bite your tongue and try to be as supportive as you can be. When he gets to be too much just politely excuse yourself from the room and give yourself a breather from him. It's hard to always be kind and polite but I think in your case it will be worth it as you seem to care very much about your dad and I get the feeling you would carry a lot of guilt if you were unkind to him and then something terrible happened to him.
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Awe, I feel for you...this happened to a friend of mine. I think the above comment is correct - you are the child, and he is the adult. What a tough situation.
Tayla Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 What a Gent! He perseveres in spite of past results! Most business men will tell you they failed in order to get to the success level. This is a powerful life lesson. Its absolutely okay to state your mature opinion to your Dad, when done with love. Have you spoken to him about your concerns? Sometimes a sensitive topic can be handled with gentle words..... I had to learn to take it down (tone it down) five notches when I addressed a matter, because ultimately we only get one parent ( father) and the words we speak and actions we take can have an impact. Make it a good one 2
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