Cambria Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 "Hey, I really hope you're doing ok. I wanted you to know I was thinking about you" That is the email he sent me today. Why would he do that? Why would he say that? I started NC on Sat after I moved out. So I haven't responded to his email. But it hurts so much. I keep reading it over and over again. Work was almost impossible to get through today. I wish he never sent me that message. He dumped me for another woman. Why is he emailing me and saying he was thinking about me?? Is it because he pity's me? Oh let's feel sorry for the girl who loved him with all that she had while he was secretly pulling away and falling into the arms of her friend. I wish I could hate him right now but all I feel is this agony and sorrow. Please refer to my other thread for backstory. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/514423-blindsided-breakup-possibly-gigs
ggas Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Let me tell you a guy's perspective. It's out of guilt. His message in his head is not pitty but from a desire to somehow feel less guilty for what he did. I would guess that he feels good about his decision but I can tell you that ALL my guy friends hate the guilt feeling. Hence I would also guess that he would go to any length to decrease his guilt. Let me make another point. This message IS NOT evidence he wants back. ON THE CONTRARY it means he is happy with his decision. A come back message would be of the form "I really miss you. I think we made a mistake. We should make it work" blabla. How do I know this? Well my ex left me (in a hearbeat) for her ex. When I caught them texting (it was brutal) he was saying things like "I miss you. I want it to make it work. It's tough not being with you" and all that jazz. So yeah... He DOES NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT want you back. This message is A SELFISH WAY to decrease his guilt and to you it looks like pity. It is pitty but not from his perspective. He's only doing this for himself not for you. You could reply with "I'm devasted." or "I'm a wreck" but he will answer with "I never wanted to do this to you. I am so so sorry. ". Try it if you are willing to resist that kind of reply. I'm almost willing to bet money that he's gonna reply like that. (and I don't even know the guy) 1
Author Cambria Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Yep that's something he would probably say. I'm not responding to the email. I know he doesn't want me back. He will one day though. I fear that day because I'm not sure I'm strong enough to resist him. I wish he had never emailed me. Selfish prick. Thanks for the response. It makes sense.
ggas Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 By the way. Would you be interested in a focus group? Something like discussing our breakups to move on faster? I think it would help. I could arrange skype conferences and stuff
Author Cambria Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 That's intrigung I'm definitely interested..although it's only been 1 month since BU and I still cry a lot. Would make for an interesting Skype conference lol
ggas Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 alright. I added you to my contacts. I'm not sure how this works. Once you add me too I will PM you my skype ID and can set something up. I guess this can help us both move on.
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