MaryMay77 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 (edited) Hi everyone, have a quick questions if you guys are willing to help me? found a message on my boyfriends phone from his good girl friend.... the message was "I'm so turned on by your running" he must have sent her his running stats and that is what she replied. I am trying to be open-minded here and give him the benefit of the doubt. What do you guys think? I need perspective before I ask him what's up! Edited February 11, 2015 by MaryMay77
Emilia Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Yes it's crossing the line. I would ask him whether he thinks it's appropriate and how he thinks you are supposed to feel. Listen to what he says. 2
mrs rubble Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 What was the intended screen shot of? He sounds like a show off.
Author MaryMay77 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 He sent me a screen shot of his running stats too. But he must have sent them to his friend right before and that was her reply.
Author MaryMay77 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Emilia, I think you are right. Unfortunately, I have no idea what else went on that converstaion, just that one message from her that was on the screen shot.
Emilia Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Emilia, I think you are right. Unfortunately, I have no idea what else went on that converstaion, just that one message from her that was on the screen shot. That's why you should ask him.
Author MaryMay77 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Would love perspective from anyone else plesase? ugh.
mrs rubble Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Would love perspective from anyone else plesase? ugh. Did his run turn you on? He still sounds like a show off to me. Do you run? Maybe it's a challenge, maybe he wants to see you run? ;-) might turn him on?
Author MaryMay77 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Did his run turn you on? He still sounds like a show off to me. Do you run? Maybe it's a challenge, maybe he wants to see you run? ;-) might turn him on? Thanks for your persective, ha, and I do run, a lot. But why would someone that is a friend send a text that says "I'm serioulsy turned on by your run" sounds like she WANTS him?
Tribble Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Do you know her very well? How she talks? How they interact with each other? It might just be her way of saying it was a really good run. I horse ride and if my horse is going well I'll say something like 'God, you're so sexy!'. Doesn't mean I find it sexy at all! You're right to be a bit put off with it but it's worth a conversation with your bf. Also don't forget, you don't know what he did in response. Her response was what you're uncomfortable with, you don't know what he did. Taken out of context, tonnes of what I say can be seen as seriously crossing the line!
Emilia Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Would love perspective from anyone else plesase? ugh. How can anyone give you a perspective on a one sentence screenshot? Talk to your boyfriend. What kind of relationship do you have if you can't even have this simple conversation? 1
Author MaryMay77 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Do you know her very well? How she talks? How they interact with each other? It might just be her way of saying it was a really good run. I horse ride and if my horse is going well I'll say something like 'God, you're so sexy!'. Doesn't mean I find it sexy at all! You're right to be a bit put off with it but it's worth a conversation with your bf. Also don't forget, you don't know what he did in response. Her response was what you're uncomfortable with, you don't know what he did. Taken out of context, tonnes of what I say can be seen as seriously crossing the line! Thanks for your input Tribble. I don't know her at all, I just know they are very good friends. I will give him the benefit of the doubt when I talk to him. I don't want to accuse him before I have all the information.
Author MaryMay77 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 How can anyone give you a perspective on a one sentence screenshot? Talk to your boyfriend. What kind of relationship do you have if you can't even have this simple conversation? It is complicated. I know what you are saying for sure. I am going to talk to him, but It is just nice to get some persective and air before I jump to conclusions about everything.
PegNosePete Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 It is complicated. In my experience, no good relationship would be described like that. 2
Toodaloo Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 A comment like that can be harmless. I accuse one of my suppliers for being pornographic when he talks about his cooking (he is a great cook!). It means nothing. However I think you do need to raise an eye brow and find out what this is. Only way to do that is to talk to him. Calmly in a happy go lucky way and then LISTEN to what he says.
WonderWoman911 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Well I wouldn't necessarily say he's cheating because you don't have any proof that he's doing so. But I will first ask him why does she have his number. I would also ask him if they text or see each other often, being as though you mentioned that he must be giving her his running whereabouts. And you mentioned that she's his "good girl friend", is this how he labels her? You can ask him any questions that you want because he's your man, but ask him sooner than later before he deletes anything.
Author MaryMay77 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 In my experience, no good relationship would be described like that. I know. I just don't want to go into the details. It is great actually.
Author MaryMay77 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 A comment like that can be harmless. I accuse one of my suppliers for being pornographic when he talks about his cooking (he is a great cook!). It means nothing. However I think you do need to raise an eye brow and find out what this is. Only way to do that is to talk to him. Calmly in a happy go lucky way and then LISTEN to what he says. Thanks, that is what I will do and that is what I needed to hear before I accuse him/think the worse. I am not a jealous person at all, but this one took me off guard.
Toodaloo Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Thanks, that is what I will do and that is what I needed to hear before I accuse him/think the worse. I am not a jealous person at all, but this one took me off guard. He could still be a cheating swine but the way to look at it is this. If he is not there is not point in getting ansty over a bit of banter and if he is then you need to tell him to sling his hook! Either way you look good because a. you are not clingy and b. you respect yourself. You are not going to find out unless you talk to him about it and listen to what he has to say. Keep it light hearted and you will be far more likely to get the truth out of him. Either way no point getting upset and emotional about it. Its either a non thing that is not worth worrying about or he has just saved you the hassle of continuing to date a *insert your own choice of swear word*.
Author MaryMay77 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 He could still be a cheating swine but the way to look at it is this. If he is not there is not point in getting ansty over a bit of banter and if he is then you need to tell him to sling his hook! Either way you look good because a. you are not clingy and b. you respect yourself. You are not going to find out unless you talk to him about it and listen to what he has to say. Keep it light hearted and you will be far more likely to get the truth out of him. Either way no point getting upset and emotional about it. Its either a non thing that is not worth worrying about or he has just saved you the hassle of continuing to date a *insert your own choice of swear word*. Thanks so much. That is a great way to look at it Toodallo and how I see it too. I just needed to talk about it to other people and get it off my chest before I approch him. This long term relationship is all new to me and I am so scared to get my heart broken and I just want to do it right, I love him.
PegNosePete Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I know. I just don't want to go into the details. It is great actually. Err, OK. Then it's a bit strange that when asked about your relationship, the first phrase you wrote is "it's complicated" rather than "it's great". I think you have bigger issues than just this one text but it's totally up to you if you want to go into it or not. 1
elaine567 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 "I'm seriously turned on by your run" That text had overtly sexual overtones,(it was not a joke and cannot be taken as such) and whether they banter like that all the time or not, they are running partners and that puts them into close contact with each other. Add a sexual element to that relationship, as the above text implies, and you have a budding affair or an actual affair. If he manages to convince you that nothing is happening or has happened, and if you run too, and you want to keep him, then I suggest you make your presence known at the training sessions and bat her off. Do not sit back whilst she steals your man and they run off into the sunset together. I am not saying you need to be the crazy, jealous, over bearing, overly protective gf, but you need to make sure you are in the picture, instead of letting them just get on with their running, and building a bigger and bigger relationship, whilst you sit at home alone. Get involved, show her, he is your man.
Chief Wiggum Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 My perspective? In this day-and-age of smartphones, it's rare to read a text message that doesn't have a conversation history. If it's been deleted, there's a reason why. And it's not good - especially given the message you read. He's either already cheating on you or is engaging in inappropriate interactions with another girl to recieve texts like that. 1
Versacehottie Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 He could still be a cheating swine but the way to look at it is this. If he is not there is not point in getting ansty over a bit of banter and if he is then you need to tell him to sling his hook! Either way you look good because a. you are not clingy and b. you respect yourself. You are not going to find out unless you talk to him about it and listen to what he has to say. Keep it light hearted and you will be far more likely to get the truth out of him. Either way no point getting upset and emotional about it. Its either a non thing that is not worth worrying about or he has just saved you the hassle of continuing to date a *insert your own choice of swear word*. Toodaloo's advice is great for how to handle it. I'm not a jealous person either but I do think the wording of your bf's friend's text was crossing the line. The part to get to the bottom of is why she feels it's ok to be so bold with him and have sexual connotations in their conversation. Is it either because she is an out-of-line type of person who seeks attention of this sort, making a play for your bf, or CONTINUING the sort of banter that they have already had. The only type that would be your bf's fault is the 3rd scenario. But you need to come up with a solution to neutralize her that doesn't derail your relationship. It's all tricky. Tread carefully. But i would not be happy about it.
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I would talk to your BF but don't initially get mad at him because of her word choice. He has no control over how she speaks. It could have been a figure of speech or it could have been something untoward. Since you don't know, enter the discussion with your BF with an open mind. 1
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