Reysa09 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Hi. I really would like some insight on this issue that I am having and maybe someone can shed some light on this situation. I have known this guy for about 10 years. Im 23, and hes 26, so you do the math. We never really physically 'met' until recently but we have always had a good 'social media' relationship (myspace days). He wrote me a message on facebook one day responding to a status I had wrote about a recent break up that I had. I was still a little hurt from my previous relationship so I took him up on his offer when he asked me out on a date. He came over after work one day and took me out. We had a good time, laughed and joked and we actually had sex. The following days were just perfect. He was doing everything right. Telling me how beautiful I am and how amazing I am and how much he wanted to be with me and move things along. He was telling me that I was the only one in his life and he wanted to make me happy. He brought me flowers and cooked dinner for me. At one point I was a little overwhelmed by all the attention I was getting. I had told him he was moving too fast and I still had some feelings for my ex...but he didn't stop trying to make me happy. So everything was good for about two weeks.... The next week he claims he got 'busy' by picking up more hours at work. I was a little annoying by asking him why did he stop making time for me but he still claimed he was working too much. I even asked to see his phone one time and he gave it to me with no hesitation. I was skeptical because all of a sudden he wasn't telling me the sweet things he once told me and now our conversations are more like 'hey' 'wyd' 'oh okay'. I asked him what was wrong and he would claim its work. It seems like every day it gets worse and we're talking less and less. I called him a few days ago and he actually BROKE UP WITH ME. Telling me that he thinks we rushed into a relationship and maybe we should take a step back and work on ourselves because he doesn't want to ruin a 10 year friendship. He told me that he doesn't think that he is emotionally ready and that he hasn't been in a relationship in 4 or 5 years. He said when the time is right or if its meant to be we will be together. Im just confused. He treated me like a queen and now hes treating me like a NOBODY. We haven't even been talking on the phone. He'll text me once a day to ask how im doing but that's IT! What did I do ? Did I push him away ? All this happened in the course of ONE MONTH. We were suppose to spend valentines day weekend together and he has not mentioned it at all this week. What should I do ???? Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Mixed signals mean no signal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I wouldn't contact him at all if you really want him for more. Usually 'sometime in the future...' signals a lack of interest. If he liked you, trust me, he would be ready just like that! Just say that you understand that he's not ready for a relationship, so he can get in touch when he is ready. Then stop contacting him. Move on with your life etc Perhaps the fact that you had sex quickly (which I don't think you should feel bad about) changed the dynamic of the relationship too quickly and sort of put pressure on it too escalate more - sometimes it's better to take things at a slower pace. At the same time, by the sounds of things, perhaps this guy wasn't in the right head space to want the same thing as you. Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Funny you tell him he's moving too fast. Then when he pulls back you freak out and become needy. You did move too fast. You didn't even establish if there is a genuine connection. You just jumped right in on the rebound. You need to both pull back and discuss if there is enough reason to pursue and grow a real relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
markleymassraff Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I'm going through something similar. We've been going out for about a month, and we also had sex and got cozy. We had a wonderful time; we clearly have the same sense of humor and just have similar dispositions in general. We like a lot of the same things, although naturally we are not identical. He's pulling back now and has been for the past week, and I'm just letting him go. Que sera sera. Have this attitude. If your guy likes you, he'll respond eventually after you pull back too. Aside from my current situation, I've had situations like this in the past as well, and typically the guy does return as long as you handle yourself well. Doesn't mean you get everything you ever wanted in a man the moment he returns. But he will come back around after he feels "safe" that you are not crazy and can live without him. Link to post Share on other sites
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Sounds like a rebound fling. Link to post Share on other sites
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