Atticus9292012 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I went to a joint birthday party on Saturday. It was at a bar and there was a large group of us and we were drinking and having a good time. There was this guy I kept chatting with here and there. He is a friends with a guy I know. I kind of made my rounds several times, but we kept settling back near each other. Lots of eye contact and he asked me a lot about myself. He was watching the Kentucky game, his alma mater, and we talked about college basketball a lot. We talked a lot in general. Well, at one point I went to a different part of the bar and I noticed he left. Didn't say bye. Well, I am friends on facebook with a co-worker of his. I added him yesterday and after he added me back, I sent him a message saying "you may or may not remember me from the other night, but you seemed pretty cool. See you around." He responded saying he remembered me and apologized for not saying bye and explained he left so early because he had to work Sunday (mind you I didn't mention him not saying bye or him leaving at all). I then asked what he did and we had a nice conversation about all kinds of stuff. Well, he had to go and said, "nice chatting with you. I am sure I will see you on the intrawebs." A guy friend of mine keeps pestering me to ask him out and thinks he is interested (doesn't know him, just knows what I have told him.) I just feel like he would have asked me out or asked for my number or something if he were interested. Maybe its too soon to tell. Just curious if I should take my guy friends advice and be more forward or if I have been forward enough and he just isn't interested.
WonderWoman911 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Well it's kind of hard to tell if he's interested. On one hand you said that the two of you had a nice conversation. Which is good sign that he's taken time out to communicate with you. But on the other hand, you mentioned that he ended the conversation with "I am sure I will see you on the intrawebs". Instead of saying something like "talk to you tomorrow;soon;later",etc. I wouldn't ask him out. I would possibly communicate with him just a little. Basically throw a little bait out there and see how he reacts to it. Because like you said, if he was really interested he would've definitely got your number during the time the two of you had the conversation. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 If he is interested enough, he would probably ask you out. If you're really hung up over him though and like him, why don't you just ask him out for a drink sometime? Sure it may not be traditional, but its better than obsessing over waiting for him to ask you out....
smackie9 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 There is no way a guy that wanted to date you would ever have left without getting your number. He's not interested. 2
Zahara Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 There is no way a guy that wanted to date you would ever have left without getting your number. He's not interested. ^^ This ^^ No "interested" guy is going to leave without trying to solidify some way of making sure he can make future contact. 2
SweetLikeCinnamon Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 ^Not every guy is confident enough to ask for a girl's number just like that. Often they need a red light from the girl so they knows she's interested. To me this guy is either the shy type who needs more of a push, or he isn't attracted to you/is dating someone. I agree that you should show more interest and see how he reacts. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 ^Not every guy is confident enough to ask for a girl's number just like that. Often they need a red light from the girl so they knows she's interested. To me this guy is either the shy type who needs more of a push, or he isn't attracted to you/is dating someone. I agree that you should show more interest and see how he reacts. As a guy I can relate to this. Just because a guy doesn't get your number right away, doesn't mean he wouldn't date you. 3
LoveRefreshed Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 yeah for sure. I mean just toss some hints out there. Not every guy has a pair like me. I know lots of dudes who sit there and ogle girls at the bar but can't even muster the courage to talk to them.. let alone ask for a number. 1
GemmaUK Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 If you like him ask him for a drink. He currently has no idea whether you are friendly to everyone like you have been to him or whether it's just him - and added to that he would have seen you doing 'the rounds'. The worst that will happen is he will say no. Having been the one who 60% of the time over the last 30 years did the asking out..it really is no biggie. And..I am a woman. 2
Zahara Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 (edited) As a guy I can relate to this. Just because a guy doesn't get your number right away, doesn't mean he wouldn't date you. It's one thing to not have the guts to ask for a number, but to just leave without even saying anything after you've spent most of the night communicating? If he was interested but shy and didn't have the courage to come out right and ask for a number, he would have at least made an attempt to say goodnight, it was nice meeting you, we should get together, hope to see you around, etc. A last impression of some sort. Not just leave and disappear. Edited February 11, 2015 by Zahara 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 It's one thing to not have the guts to ask for a number, but to just leave without even saying anything after you've spent most of the night communicating? If he was interested but shy and didn't have the courage to come out right and ask for a number, he would have at least made an attempt to say goodnight, it was nice meeting you, we should get together, hope to see you around, etc. A last impression of some sort. Not just leave and disappear. Not unusual at all. He just might not have been thinking about dating her at that point. Most guys wont chase after women they just want to be friends with either. Dating/chasing women is hard work and sometimes we just need a break from it. That being said if we find out a girl might be interested in us, that's a different story. 1
Author Atticus9292012 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Well, I wouldn't say I sat and talked to him all night, but we did talk a lot. I don't sit and talk to one person in a setting like that normally unless I feel really uncomfortable or know no one else. I knew almost everyone there so i was mingling quite a bit. Some of the people I talked to were other guys though so maybe I came off as just friendly. He did seem genuinely interested in asking me questions about myself, but when I realized he left without saying bye I thought well maybe he is just friendly. I find in most situations, if you're having to decode a guys behavior, he isn't interested. I know from our mutual friend that he is single. My guy friend seems to think adding me back on facebook and the couple hours of messaging is some big indicator. I am not sure anything on facebook means anything. 1
Zahara Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 (edited) Not unusual at all. He just might not have been thinking about dating her at that point. Most guys wont chase after women they just want to be friends with either. Dating/chasing women is hard work and sometimes we just need a break from it. That being said if we find out a girl might be interested in us, that's a different story. Who said anything about dating? Chasing? Getting too far ahead. She asked if he was interested because he just left. It's really very simple. I know if I found someone to be interesting, I'd be sure to at least establish some show of my interest. Not just walk away and disappear. I've walked away before and it's because I wasn't bothered or interested. We'll just have to agree to disagree. Edited February 11, 2015 by Zahara 1
Author Atticus9292012 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Well, I tried flirting and got no response. I think he was just being nice. Oh well! I think I can close the book on that one. Thanks for the advice. 1
wb1988 Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Just because he didn't ask for the number doesn't mean that he wouldn't be interested, although it probably does mean that he wasn't thinking about it at the time. Talk a bit more, try to arrange a friendly meetup and maybe a phone call to gauge his interest. If he's anything like me then that means he's interested because many of us guys don't even like talking to girls that we don't find attractive and if he finds you attractive then he'll date you.
fred123 Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 i have walked away from many girls without asking for numbers because i know they are out of my league and i wouldnt want to embarrass or ashame the girl i was talking to. id rather be just friendly and polite. also how does the guy know if you are just friendly and polite. if he is like me he might think she just wants to be friends so theres no point. remember guys have been rejected hurt and humiliated before so sometimes they really like the girl but accept its better not to do anything
katiegrl Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 ^Not every guy is confident enough to ask for a girl's number just like that. Often they need a red light from the girl so they knows she's interested. To me this guy is either the shy type who needs more of a push, or he isn't attracted to you/is dating someone. I agree that you should show more interest and see how he reacts. But she "did" give him the green light! HE was the one who left abruptly without so much as a goodbye...but still...the OP tracked him down on Facebook, took the initiative and contacted him...engaging him....they chatted for a while after which, once again, he abruptly ends the convo ... this time saying "see ya around." The guy would have to be a complete moron not to know she is interested. Come on... HE, on the other hand, is not...that's painfully obvious. atticus..I am sorry but probably best to move on from this one. But good for you for taking the initiative and contacting him! That took a lot of guts..especially after the way he took off. So feel proud for that...sounds like you have a lot confidence...don't ever lose that!! 1
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