Jame22 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 She messaged me on tinder back in late October. We clicked and were already holding hands and kissing 2 hours into the first date. Honestly it was the best first date I had ever been on and I could tell that she was really into me. The next month and a half were awesome. During this time she did most of the pursuing which was great. She would call or text me and then I’d set a time and a place to meet. Our last date (sometime in mid December) was just as amazing as the first and I could feel her falling for me. I could see it in her eyes. I was hoping that she would try to make me her boyfriend. Then out of the blue she goes cold. The last time I saw her she was distant. I called her the following Monday. No answer. A couple hours later she sent this long text about how she has been stressed out and didn't want to be dating at the time. She pretty much told me to have a nice life..but in a much more respectable tone. I didn't chase her at all when she told me this. I just said that I was sorry to hear that and to let me know if she changed her mind. A few days later she deleted me from Facebook and I’m pretty sure she got back with her long term bf of two years. I haven’t heard from her in two months. I took the breakup pretty well at first but the more crappy first dates I go on the more I think about her. She always talked about how she wanted to move to Colorado which is where I want move to as well. When my contract is up in Texas there’s a chance I could get to move there. I've been thinking about sending her a brief message, something along the lines of “Hey Sarah, are you still considering Colorado? Just wondering. There’s a chance I could be headed there in June. I miss you.” Do you think this is too much? Her actions suggest that she wants nothing to do with me anymore. Well, either that or she wants to respect her current boyfriend. Nothing to lose, right? Oh and if I decide to send it do you think I should take out the “I miss you part”?
erklat Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 No. You should be moving on, and basically if you had zero communication since the bu it sounds mmmmmonster clingy. If you have to touch the stove to se if it is hawt, try with something light first. 1
Ducktape Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Don't do it. She told and showed you she didn't want anything to do with you anymore. You were a rebound, clearly. There's a reason you were kissing and holding hands during the first date. She wanted to match the level of intensity of her past relationship, because she wasn't over it. That's not how it's supposed to go, don't assume first dates suck if you're not holding hands and kissing by hour #2, if the level of intensity isn't as high. You'll be either disappointed, of always falling for the same kind of girl.
Standard-Fare Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 A) Your potential move to Colorado should have NOTHING to do with her. None of your motivation to do that should be linked to the unrealistic fantasy you guys brought up during the month and a half you dated, or the secret wish that she'll move there too and you'll live happily ever after. See how you feel when you look at this as: I'm moving there alone, and she's never going to be there. B) Don't send the message. As the other poster said, it comes off as clingy. Staying out of contact is your best bet for preserving dignity. Hey, maybe she'll be curious what you're up to later, find out that you've moved to Colorado, and have some kind of reaction to that. But don't bank on that, either.
Simon Phoenix Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Wow, do not send any part of that. That would more than likely freak her out. Bad, bad, bad.
Author Jame22 Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 A) Your potential move to Colorado should have NOTHING to do with her. It doesn't. Colorado has always been pretty high on my list
Standard-Fare Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 It doesn't. Colorado has always been pretty high on my list Then why ask her, or even wonder yourself, whether she's "still considering Colorado?"
Author Jame22 Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 You were a rebound, clearly. There's a reason you were kissing and holding hands during the first date. She wanted to match the level of intensity of her past relationship, because she wasn't over it. . So in a nutshell, I got played?
erklat Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 So in a nutshell, I got played? Here most likely but I myself go for the kiss on a first, or second date tops. Not because I miss level of intimacy, but I'm terrified of Friendzoneland. After that we don't need to kiss for the next five dates, but I like to make my intentions clear immediately. 1
Kevin_D Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Here most likely but I myself go for the kiss on a first, or second date tops. Not because I miss level of intimacy, but I'm terrified of Friendzoneland. After that we don't need to kiss for the next five dates, but I like to make my intentions clear immediately. This. As much as I would like to get to know a girl before kissing her, it's usually a terrible idea. You've got to strike while the iron is hot.
Ducktape Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 There's a difference between ending a date with a kiss, and kissing throughout the date.
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