nikbill Posted April 3, 2005 Posted April 3, 2005 I love my girlfreind with every fibre of my being and someday hope to marry her. Unfortunately we seem to be having some problems though. We've been together for 2-1/2 years and do not live together yet because of her situation at home. I think we have had a pretty healthy sex life up untill 2 months ago. We had a super-romantic valentines day and then it all changed. Next thing I know, she's rarely calling me anymore and has hardly any time to see me. And when she does see me I have to practicaly beg for sex. We've had sex like 3 times in the past 2 months. I dunno whats goin on we went from doin it like bunny rabbits to practically nothin at all in the blink of an eye. I know that she is a busy university girl, she's got alot goin on in her life right now. But she always used to make time for me when she got busy now she doesnt. She has been working out alot lately and has lost like 15 pounds in 2 months she looks soooooo good. She also has been going to the bar alot with her freinds. I would go too but she knows I hate the bar and it would seem like im checking up on her. Now we have talked about this problem and it seemed like she just needed some space. Which is ok with me I dont want to push her away by holding on too tightly you know. There is one thing that worrys me however, the last couple of times we had sex It seemed like she was just doing it for me. I got the feeling that she didnt want to be there. which is odd because she usually loves sex. I also noticed that at that point in time, she seemed to be kinda down about somthing. I met with her for dinner a couple of times during that time and her eyelashes were all stuck together like she had been crying both times. I knew somthing was wrong. After begging her to tell me what was wrong she assured me that she wasnt cheating on me and said "i dont think you could handle the truth" and said that she basically wasnt ready to tell me what was goin on. Now its been a few weeks since this discussion. I have decided to shut my mouth about the sex and just try to be there for her. She still wont tell me what is going on but she seems to be happier. It seems that she would rather hang out with her freinds than see me though...its driving me nuts. Sombody tell me what is goin on please!!! I believe her when she says that she's not cheating on me. But Im wondering if Im loosing my girlfreind somehow! What should I do?
curiousnycgirl Posted April 3, 2005 Posted April 3, 2005 Something else is going on here. You mention there are issues at home for her, but don't elaborate - could that be part of the problem? I would continue not to push for sex, and try to get back to spending more time together. You are going to have to figure out how to get her to open up about what's going on. Reality is that if you think you two will be together forever - then there should be nothing she feels you can't handle - cuz you should be able to get through it together. Best of luck with it!!!!
LoveAlways Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 Your girl's symptoms sound distressing. She's closing up to you and she's hiding things. This makes you think she's not valueing the relationship as much anymore. But its most likely that she is struggling with other aspects of her life you dont even know about, which are spilling over onto the relationship. Losing weight may look good, but coupled with low libido, crying often and hiding severe problems behind phrases like "you cant handle the truth" all point to depression. Shame, I feel sorry for this girl. She obviously doesnt like the fact that she cant feel sexually exicted anymore but thats what distressing personal and family problems do to us women. The worst thing you can do now is rub the sex issues in her face at a time when she is physically and mentally fragile. Be there for her in the way you should be. Remember, men feel emotionally connected through sex; women must feel emotionally connected in order to have sex.
newble Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 I don't think she likes you anymore. but that's just me.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 It sounds like the novelty of the realtionship has worn off for her and she wants to focus on other aspects of her life. Maybe you should too?
Mary3 Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I think the thing she fears telling you is : She no longer feels love for you....is not in love with you....and wants to persue outside interests more....including friends and possible new love interests... Thats what I am feeling here and you might want to prepare for that. The weight loss and depression she is feeling could be medically related but I think its mostly emotional...I think she wants her freedom.
MiamiMami Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I agree with Mary3. I have the feeling that she is no longer in love with you and that she is afraid to tell you.
Author nikbill Posted April 9, 2005 Author Posted April 9, 2005 Thank you for your opinions every one. I have recently found out what the problem is. And I think that all of you are right in a certian sence. About a mounth ago she was raped. This caused major problems with our relationship. She didnt tell me right away because she was afraid I would blame her. It came to the point where she either had to end it with me or tell me the truth. I dont blame her at all. While maby she could have made some better dicisions, it is in no way her fault. I have decided to give her the space she needs and try to let her heal. Her being able to tell me the truth has brought us a little closer again. Those of you who said that she may be falling out of love with me are sort of right. Because of the fact that I didnt know what was going on, it made me seem very incensitive to her. I didnt realize the magnetude of the situation and because of that my petty every day complaints just rubbed her completely the wrong way. Now that we are on the same page, it seems like we are in it together. We are both victims here and we both have to heal together. It is very difficult for me to deal with this. The guy...or should I say animal is going to get away scott free, due to her being in shock and not reporting it right away. I am having feelings of extreme anger and sorrow. I have never felt such an anger in my life. Usually anger fades away quickly for me. But now it just gets worse every day. What makes it worse is that she kind of knows the guy and where to find him. I am afraid of what will happen if I find out who he is. This guy almost destoyed us. How could this happen? She is so small and cute, such a sweetie. How could sombody violate her? I can hardly raise my voice to her without feeling guilty. Every time I picture this happening to her I feel like I am going to explode! Tthis just re-affirms to me that there is no god and if there is he hates us all! No matter who this guy is, he will regret crossing paths with me, if it ever happens!
moimeme Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 She should still report it. Did she keep the clothes she was wearing or did she wash them? There could be enough other evidence to convict him so she should absolutely report it.
Recommended Posts