GinaCB Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Before I get into topic let me start by saying he is an amazing man. He treats me so good, he is so sweet and he's wanted me for so many years. This is the first time in my entire life someone has treated me good. But unfortunately months before we got together he had a 3 time casual sex thing with a girl he did not like at all. The condom broke and according to her she's pinning the baby on him. She's about 7 months pregnant now. They will have a paternity test once the baby is born. When he first told me it went over my head I didn't think too much about it. But now it's been breaking my heart. If it is his I can never accept the fact that my man has a new born with someone else. We will never get to experience a first child together. And also this type of situation comes with baby mama drama im sure. I'm torn between leaving because I know this will make me miserable but at the same time I'll probably never find a good guy like him ever again. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be a step mom I don't even have kids of my own yet. I am so depressed over this. I just keep asking God why me.
OrangeParty Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 (edited) If it is his I can never accept the fact that my man has a new born with someone else. We will never get to experience a first child together. And also this type of situation comes with baby mama drama im sure. I don't want to be a step mom I don't even have kids of my own yet. I am so depressed over this. These are things you are sure of. Versus I'll probably never find a good guy like him ever again. which you may or may not be. Trust your instincts. What is your instinct telling you? A child is a huge, huge commitment. If you're not ready to accept a child isn't yours, it can be a huge, huge strain on the relationship, and the child deserves a mother figure who will not resent it. What is your instinct telling you? Edited February 10, 2015 by OrangeParty 2
amaysngrace Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Months before you got together he got someone else pregnant and she's seven months along? How long have you been with this guy? Ten weeks? It's easy to be nice to someone for ten weeks, especially if she's not the pregnant one. 1
kendahke Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Before I get into topic let me start by saying he is an amazing man. He treats me so good, he is so sweet and he's wanted me for so many years. This is the first time in my entire life someone has treated me good. But unfortunately months before we got together he had a 3 time casual sex thing with a girl he did not like at all. The condom broke and according to her she's pinning the baby on him. She's about 7 months pregnant now. They will have a paternity test once the baby is born. When he first told me it went over my head I didn't think too much about it. But now it's been breaking my heart. If it is his I can never accept the fact that my man has a new born with someone else. We will never get to experience a first child together. And also this type of situation comes with baby mama drama im sure. How many other men was she screwing at the same time she was screwing him where the condom also broke? Chances are, the baby is his, so prepare yourself for that news. I'd say figure out first if the baby is biologically his--because everything else is predicated upon that fact. You might be putting the cart before the horse. There is a chance that it's not depending upon who else she was screwing at the time... and you still could have that experience of first baby with him. If it comes back that he's the father, then end it. You aren't prepared to deal on that level with him. That baby and its mother are not going anywhere. Unfortunately, casual sex with someone you don't like can end up just like this mess he's gotten himself into. I feel sorry for that baby. I'm torn between leaving because I know this will make me miserable but at the same time I'll probably never find a good guy like him ever again. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be a step mom I don't even have kids of my own yet. I am so depressed over this. I just keep asking God why me. That's not true. You found him, didn't you? There are other good guys out there: the test is to not sell yourself out just to be in a relationship. If you tell yourself you will not find a good man, then the universe will accommodate that declaration. The answer to your question is that you chose a man who had casual sex with a woman he didn't like. I'd be more alarmed at his lack of judgment in screwing someone he wasn't prepared to be in a relationship with... his palm would have given him a better outcome. 1
Author GinaCB Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 Months before you got together he got someone else pregnant and she's seven months along? How long have you been with this guy? Ten weeks? It's easy to be nice to someone for ten weeks, especially if she's not the pregnant one. He's been nice to me for YEARS. And we've only been in a relationship for about a month and a half
Author GinaCB Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 How many other men was she screwing at the same time she was screwing him where the condom also broke? Chances are, the baby is his, so prepare yourself for that news. I'd say figure out first if the baby is biologically his--because everything else is predicated upon that fact. You might be putting the cart before the horse. There is a chance that it's not depending upon who else she was screwing at the time... and you still could have that experience of first baby with him. If it comes back that he's the father, then end it. You aren't prepared to deal on that level with him. That baby and its mother are not going anywhere. Unfortunately, casual sex with someone you don't like can end up just like this mess he's gotten himself into. I feel sorry for that baby. That's not true. You found him, didn't you? There are other good guys out there: the test is to not sell yourself out just to be in a relationship. If you tell yourself you will not find a good man, then the universe will accommodate that declaration. The answer to your question is that you chose a man who had casual sex with a woman he didn't like. I'd be more alarmed at his lack of judgment in screwing someone he wasn't prepared to be in a relationship with... his palm would have given him a better outcome. He said according to her she knows he is the father. I agree with you he should've used his hand. But what's done is done
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