littlesmurf Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Me and my girlfriend are in a relationship for 1 year. We are in LDR currently, and everything was going good. So, recently I noticed that she sleep texts with me. She has all broken English but she texts, and then wakes up and asks me "wtf, did I texted you???". So last night she said she is going to sleep and didnt went sleeping right away and she sleep texted a guy she met few years ago from internet. She talked to him few times ever. She said she talked with him and it all felt like a dream and like it wasnt reality. She also told me that she didnt realized it was him. Basically he sent her a msg and they started talking about his problems, then he said how he she is a cool person and would want to kiss her, she said she would kiss him back. After that she became conscious of what actually happened, so she self harmed herself and cried and called me after few minutes. I couldnt stopped her from crying and she sent me a pic of her arm. She really self harmed her arm. She called her self a cheater and that she is not worth being with me. I could really see that she was sorry for what happened and once she woke up she uninstalled app and removed him and blocked everything... Anyway, I dont want to bug you all with too much details. Long story short, she was in a sleep state kinda, and took some pills before sleeping. She did said she took more than usual and that she wasnt fully aware of what happened. I feel very weird about this all and feel kinda violated because we are extremely exclusive, but then again it wasnt her that actually texted it. I just need some advice and how would you see all this?
rester Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 I would ask her to get help with the self-harming/cutting thing immediately. Reassure her that you understand she was asleep when she did it and that you're not worried about it happening the one time, but you would like to see her get help with her self-harming issues and also the sleep texting issues. I'm not familiar with sleep texting, but I would suggest she try to lay off the phone during the day a bit, and try to keep the phone away from her bed.
Author littlesmurf Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 Yes I told her that I want her to go to doctor asap! She took all this very serious. I mean, I do feel violated, but from everything I see she didnt do it while fully awake. She even said she didnt knew she was in relationship and it all felt like dream/movie and she is a spectator.
todreaminblue Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 this is pretty serious.....if she is disconnecting like this .....i think the sooner she see someone the better.....the pills....obviously she isnt taking a prescribed dose and is self medicating.....that really isnt good....self harming.....a kind compassionate therapist who she feel comfortable with, would help her immensely.....good luck....deb
Author littlesmurf Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 The pills she took are painkillers. I checked them up and they don't make any effects on brain as far as I saw it. And just to clarify, she didnt cut herself or anything, on pic it was scratches on her hand. But still, she did self harmed her arm and felt disgusted with herself to that serious point. 1
todreaminblue Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 The pills she took are painkillers. I checked them up and they dont make affect brain as far as I saw it. And just to clarify, she didnt cut herself or anything, on pic it was scratches on her hand. But still, she did self harmed her arm and felt disgusted with herself to that serious point. pain killers or not she took too many......and she probably didnt use them for pain....thats a problem....it is another form of self harming......deb
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 I hate to be the voice of dissent here, but surely if it had actually been in her sleep, she'd have been able to tell you about it but then let it go, knowing it wasn't actually her fault? I read this scenario a little differently. I think something's going on with this guy, perhaps she's cheating with him or is having thoughts of doing so. She's worried suddenly that you're going to find out about it, maybe he's threatening to tell you or maybe she's worried one of her friends will tell you. So she's pretending it all happened during her sleep, and is self harming either a) through guilt and genuine fear and worry about whether she might get found out or not or b) to try and appear like she is really unstable/hysterical to try and dissuade you from challenging her on the unlikeliness of all of this. Proceed with caution... I wouldn't let my boyfriend claiming he was 'asleep' be a viable reason for him texting a girl telling her he would kiss her. If they've talked 'a few times' in 'years', what are the chances that he would randomly start a conversation with her, tell her all about his problems, and then tell her he'd like to kiss her? All in the space of time she's asleep and in this weird sleep-state? Dodgy as hell.
Author littlesmurf Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 pain killers or not she took too many......and she probably didnt use them for pain....thats a problem....it is another form of self harming......deb No no, she took them for headache. We are very honest with each other and she tells me everything. She said she usually takes half of that pill and took 1.5. I don't think it was overdose with 1.5 painkiller.
Author littlesmurf Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 I hate to be the voice of dissent here, but surely if it had actually been in her sleep, she'd have been able to tell you about it but then let it go, knowing it wasn't actually her fault? I read this scenario a little differently. I think something's going on with this guy, perhaps she's cheating with him or is having thoughts of doing so. She's worried suddenly that you're going to find out about it, maybe he's threatening to tell you or maybe she's worried one of her friends will tell you. So she's pretending it all happened during her sleep, and is self harming either a) through guilt and genuine fear and worry about whether she might get found out or not or b) to try and appear like she is really unstable/hysterical to try and dissuade you from challenging her on the unlikeliness of all of this. Proceed with caution... I wouldn't let my boyfriend claiming he was 'asleep' be a viable reason for him texting a girl telling her he would kiss her. If they've talked 'a few times' in 'years', what are the chances that he would randomly start a conversation with her, tell her all about his problems, and then tell her he'd like to kiss her? All in the space of time she's asleep and in this weird sleep-state? Dodgy as hell. The thing is, she sleep texted with me few times. She then all of a sudden asks me what happened. She has this all broken English when she does it.
todreaminblue Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 No no, she took them for headache. We are very honest with each other and she tells me everything. She said she usually takes half of that pill and took 1.5. I don't think it was overdose with 1.5 painkiller. see i thought that she sleep texted due to being a drug induced phase of sleeping.....i think sleep texting someone would be a bit difficult......unless you are a functioning multiple personality...deb
Author littlesmurf Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 see i thought that she sleep texted due to being a drug induced phase of sleeping.....i think sleep texting someone would be a bit difficult......unless you are a functioning multiple personality...deb She texted me two times what she was dreaming. I searched for it and it's possible, sort of like sleep walking. Your logic and everything is off except for motoric part of brain. Check this out: Don't recall sending that message? Maybe you're 'sleep texting' - CNN.com
Quiet Storm Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Let his one go. She's a compulsive liar, cutter and has poor coping skills. Notice how she sent you a pic of her arm... that's manipulation. She did something shocking to minimize her other bad behavior- "sleep" texting, so you would focus on making her feel better (and not that she was texting another guy). The only way I could see someone actually sleep texting is if they are in the middle of an alcoholic blackout or taking sleeping medication such as Ambien. I think you are getting played. Either way this girl's got issues that you are not equipped to deal with, and she will just bring lots of drama to your life. 1
contact1 Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 The sleep texting thing I could see it being possible. However, there is a bigger issue here you are ignoring OP. Regardless if she was awake or sleeping when texting, she still had this guy's contact number. That would raise a huge red flag for me, why have the contact of someone who is clearly romantically interested in you if you are already in a relationship?
Author littlesmurf Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 The sleep texting thing I could see it being possible. However, there is a bigger issue here you are ignoring OP. Regardless if she was awake or sleeping when texting, she still had this guy's contact number. That would raise a huge red flag for me, why have the contact of someone who is clearly romantically interested in you if you are already in a relationship? Why would she tell me about it all then? She would be in a perfect position to cheat. She met him on internet couple of years ago and I don't have any mutual friends with him, and I don't know him at all, so no one can warn me of possible cheating. She would be free to do whatever she wants. And her crying was very much real, to the point she couldn't talk normal.
Timshel Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Please urge her to get professional help. You are definitely in over your head with this one. You do not have to abandon her but do not let her manipulate or make this about you. Also, you need to understand this is not about you. She has problems that were there before you met her and you are not responsible for her problems and can't fix her. She needs professional help.
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