cottom Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Was meeting a girl, she seemed perfect for me and we connected on an intelligence level. We stopped at mine and i accidently let slip i want to be with her. We never really spoke after that, well, she completely went off the map and i chased it down a little but she still seemed to like everything i ever put on facebook etc. Some red flags though she had 3000 friends on facebook (loves attention), when we went out she would spend most of the time going talking to guys she knew and then coming back over to me, everytime we did meet it was me making the effort etc, I would end up doing stuff for her such as application forms and CVs etc. A month after I let slip i wanted to be with her i've now just given up, I deleted her off facebook and just not going to bother. But it kind of hurts because usually i leave a girl i go out straight away, find one i like and stick with them but this one i waited a few months to actually meet one that i liked deep down and connected with and she just turned out to be an attention whore and left me on my own! My main problem though is i lack the confidence to just walk up to a girl in the street out of nowhere, i try speak to the few girls that do gym classes etc but they all go the gym with their bfs, i work in engineering which in my job is 99% men and 1% experienced women, at 22 i was the youngest they ever hired into my role (at 20). My mates don't go round with any girls really, i've just got in with a crowd that do know girls as i just moved here but they are the gold digging girls that go after us for our money. So story here, what do i do? It just makes me feel depressed constantly, i have my own house etc and want a girl that i can share it all with but i sit on my own every night. I may be classed as shallow but i do care about looks, i dont want to be with a fat girl, spotty girl, ugly girl etc because i dont find it attractive. Ive always had girls throw themselves at me because i am good looking, i go gym 6 days a week and i have a well paid job but my work keeps me moving all around the world constantly. I want to settle down with a girl though. Rant over, sorry for the long post! I just dont really know what to do with myself... Girls around are gold diggers Work is a sausage fest No confidence for approaching random girls in the street Gym girls all have their bfs keeping a close eye on it all
LoveRefreshed Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 I know that feel bro. I just chased after a girl who really just seemed to love the attention... Well some theory on it, otherwise, that she genuinely cared for me as a friend. I have been NC for almost a month now, and it blows. I have this empty feeling. I still think about her at times. I still compare all the girls I meet to her in my mind. What you need to do is to just stop worrying about it all. Find group activities to join, and just be yourself. You will, and I promise you, find a single girl out there that you are attracted to. It just takes some patience and time. This is my biggest beef with OLD, but the saying that when you search for it, you never find it, and if you are patient, it comes to you? Full heartedly agree. When we look to hard, we waste time scrutinizing, focusing, and dating people we don't really care that much about. If we just were aware and patient and less distracted on checking under every stone for it, we will notice the person when they walk into our lives.
mightycpa Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 i sit on my own every night that's your problem. get involved with something; hopefully, get involved with something you like AND where girls are involved. Get some friends, and get some female friends too. You're keeping your seeds in the storehouse by sitting on your own every night. Start planting those seeds out there and see what comes up. 1
Versacehottie Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Was meeting a girl, she seemed perfect for me and we connected on an intelligence level. We stopped at mine and i accidently let slip i want to be with her. We never really spoke after that, well, she completely went off the map and i chased it down a little but she still seemed to like everything i ever put on facebook etc. Some red flags though she had 3000 friends on facebook (loves attention), when we went out she would spend most of the time going talking to guys she knew and then coming back over to me, everytime we did meet it was me making the effort etc, I would end up doing stuff for her such as application forms and CVs etc. A month after I let slip i wanted to be with her i've now just given up, I deleted her off facebook and just not going to bother. But it kind of hurts because usually i leave a girl i go out straight away, find one i like and stick with them but this one i waited a few months to actually meet one that i liked deep down and connected with and she just turned out to be an attention whore and left me on my own! My main problem though is i lack the confidence to just walk up to a girl in the street out of nowhere, i try speak to the few girls that do gym classes etc but they all go the gym with their bfs, i work in engineering which in my job is 99% men and 1% experienced women, at 22 i was the youngest they ever hired into my role (at 20). My mates don't go round with any girls really, i've just got in with a crowd that do know girls as i just moved here but they are the gold digging girls that go after us for our money. So story here, what do i do? It just makes me feel depressed constantly, i have my own house etc and want a girl that i can share it all with but i sit on my own every night. I may be classed as shallow but i do care about looks, i dont want to be with a fat girl, spotty girl, ugly girl etc because i dont find it attractive. Ive always had girls throw themselves at me because i am good looking, i go gym 6 days a week and i have a well paid job but my work keeps me moving all around the world constantly. I want to settle down with a girl though. Rant over, sorry for the long post! I just dont really know what to do with myself... Girls around are gold diggers Work is a sausage fest No confidence for approaching random girls in the street Gym girls all have their bfs keeping a close eye on it all Part of what you should do to change your results is change the way you see the world. Not all girls are gold diggers. Maybe you just have to look harder or in different places. Work is probably not the easiest which you have determined so put your dating efforts elsewhere and be strategic. And meeting a girl doesn't have to only be when you are socializing; it can also be when you are doing your normal everyday things. You should find ways to increase your confidence that will help for everything in life including when you are actually in a relationship. As far as random girls, just lower the stakes to say hi only and walk away, no expectations beyond that. Once you are comfortable with that your confidence will grow. And you can take next steps. At the gym somedays there are single girls. Maybe today is just a down day for you. Sorry this girl disappeared. There were negative things you said about girls you feel aren't good enough for you but honestly you need to up your own game to get the type of girl you feel is worthy of you and that you're attracted to. Pessimistic attitude and feeling you are not capable of certain things is something that will not bring you an a-list girl. Sounds like you don't want anything less than that. Fair enough, but make sure you are doing A-list you also--beyond looks and income. Personality and attitude parts as well. Like attracts like. Good luck
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 I've suffered from confidence issues in the past (honestly I probably could still be more confident than I am now even... =P ) and I can relate. It's just something that you need to slowly work at by taking small baby steps out of your comfort zone more and more. Picking up girls in the street is not easy, its something that I won't even do. What worked for me is I stopped focusing about women for a while and focused solely on improving myself. Finding things that I like to do and staying busy -- Otherwise Women can find you boring. Try online dating, its a little less nerve racking than meeting women on the street, and you can filter women out based on what you are looking for (something you can't do picking women up on the street).
Versacehottie Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 What worked for me is I stopped focusing about women for a while and focused solely on improving myself. Finding things that I like to do and staying busy -- Otherwise Women can find you boring. This is good advice
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