jessgirl23 Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Unhappy Is he too busy for me or doesn't care about this long distance relationship? Been seeing/in a relationship with a guy since about November. Recently, he has a new job that he works all day until around 10 at night. Almost has to keep in contact with clients and having to call them and such. The past two weekends, we have made it work and have visited each other for a day/night. Last week, he said he had to be more focused this week, so he didn't text me as much and would just send me a text in the morning and then reply and then ignore my text until 10 at night and then reply and then fall asleep or was too tired to reply. (says goodnight some nights) He then apologizes in the morning and then just repeats what he does. I get he can't text at work, but he could atleast call or send a text during and say hes thinking of me or something around work to make me feel special. On sunday, I told him to call me since he was supposed to come down on Monday to visit me, so he did. We talked and then he said that he was going to be away for valentines day and won't be back from his work week until the 15th. (We had promised to spend it together, I even booked it off) I then continued on and said that I felt this was too hard. He was silent, and then said that he doesn't want to break up and wanted to work it out and said that he tries to make time for me in the mornings (which feel like he doesn't), and then says that he reads my texts and it brightens and makes his day but he can't reply to them since he's working and will get in trouble. I then agreed to working it out on the phone and we ended the phone well. He was supposed to text me in the morning saying if he was coming or not but he didn't. The weather was bad so he didnt. He didn't even say sorry or anything, just pretended like everything was fine. We wouldn't be seeing each other until the weekend after valentines day and he just lives an hour away. His dad usually drives him up to see me. Just our schedules are clashing and making it hard for us to see each other. I feel like he's too busy for a relationship, that he just needs to just focus on his career. He then said that he could come down the week before valentines day but It wouldn't work out since I worked that weekend. I then told him that I couldn't, and then that i felt dumb for booking valentines day off since he worked it now. He ignored my text. So then i ended up texting him after waiting 6 hours for a reply and said that ;;; that this was too hard for me .. maybe not for him.. but it was for me He then didn't reply..... Could it be that he was too mad to reply or that he legit didn't care of it ending? When I said it on the phone he was quiet ... but during text, he didn't reply or say anything at all. Texted him the next day and asked if he could at least say something ... that i wanted him to respect my decision and understand where im coming from with it. to please understand... and he never replied again. Next day, I sent a nice long message of how much he means to me and how i've been lucky to have him in my life and that i don't want to lose him and still want to call him my friend. if he could answer to that, and he didn't again .. I then called him and he apologized for not replying because he was mad and such, he agreed to making it work and making time for me and calling me more often before bed atleast and spending valentines day together on the sunday and going out and getting all dressed up and having wine, etc. The next day i told him to call me that night, he ended up calling me drunk and saying he loved me and wanted me to hold on and that things were going to get better, and all this sappy stuff. I then texted him the next day and asked if i could come over and visit just for the night and if we could go out to the movies, and we did. he paid and held the door open for me. We then got back and i brought up the phone call, if he remembered it and he then said; yes jess, i really love you and said that hes never felt like this about someone before and apologized for not saying it enough. He said he remembered the first time he saw me and remembered EXACTLY what i was wearing, and how i had just got done my hair and such. The night was perfect. Next day (day off he had) he texted me the whole day and night, and then texted me in the morning saying good morning babe before work, nothing after i replied. nothing after work was done either. i then texted him at night and said ; hope you had a good day at work babe nothing .... not even a text in the morning saying good morning or a sorry that he was busy or nothing.. I just feel like he isn't keeping his promises at making this work .. hes not trying... I'm only trying .. Help! what do i do?
Mr.D.E.B.T. Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 You need to be consistent. If he really wants to be with you like I wanted to be with my wife, he will find a way to make things work, You've expressed what you need from him, and now it is up to him to comply. If he continues to behave in this manner, you should re-evaluate the relationship. You can't change people. He has to step up himself, if he really wants to be with you. While I understand being busy, a text message only takes a few seconds.
d0nnivain Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 This is a new job. He is getting used to a new schedule & routine. He has added pressures & responsibilities. This has nothing to do with how much he cares about you but if you continue whining that he doesn't spend time with you, it will turn into a reason for him to dislike you. 1
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