kosie Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Hi. My girlfriend and I broke up about 2 weeks ago. Actually she decided to move out in order to sort herself out. She wants to stay friends during this process. Sorting herself out does not mean we will end up together in the end. There was and still is no hard feelings between us. I'm a mess. Started smoking heavily again, drinks a lot more than before and I believe I changed gender because I'm very emotional. I cry all the time (less than the first week) but I still make time for a 30 minute crying session:p. I struggled with breakups before up to a point when fall into a deep depression. Do I put a stop to everything? Like no contact, no texts and make a clean break. Or leave these decisions for when I'm not as emotional?
Toodaloo Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Oh dear lordy me. Contact with this girl will be bad for you. Cut it out and start to heal. Stop punishing yourself.
Author kosie Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 I believe in time it will be clear to me too. I needed the impartial advice while my emotions are in turmoil.
KBarletta Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Best to stick to no contact while your emotions are "in turmoil" anyway. Otherwise, chances are you will become a begging, groveling mess and ruin any chance you might have in the future. She wants time to sort it out? Respect her wishes and give her the time. Whether you end up together or not is not entirely in your control anyway, and it never was, so you need to let her go, give her time and see what comes out of it. But the most important thing at this point is to take care of yourself. Try to cool it on the smoking and drinking right now. They're just band-aids. Instead, when you get emotional, write a journal, post here, listen to music, exercise, go outside, call a friend, take a walk, read a good book. If you are that emotional, you might benefit from some counseling, too. It helps to have a neutral party to talk to if you are able. Hang in there! 1
Author kosie Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Thanks for the support. It is greatly appreciated. Your words put things in persepective for me. There is no easy way out of this, but looking back there has been an improvement in my emotional state. Something I haven't mentioned before is that she is belongs to a charasmatic church. Not a place where I fell comfortable in but I always respected her way of practising religion. At times she becomes very involved and fanatic to a point that worries me. Her only friends in town is her cell group. Me being the only person keeping her grounded and balanced. Can I be of any help to her being the person to keep her grounded. Or just let it be and maybe cause her more problems and not the healing she needs. I really have no intention of getting together now and like you said it is not in our hands what happens in the future. I still care for her and want her to heal in her own time.
Recommended Posts