Frankie L Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Hey All, firstly I would just like to say a big thank you to all the contributors and folks on this site. You are all magic and have helped me no end. I'm going to not try and bore you but just get my point across as my mind if feeling more hazy and foggy than it has in a long long time and I could do with your advice.. Just over a year ago me and my partner broke up (she made the call), I was madly in love with her and experienced things that I had never been apart of with a partner before, she also lived with me and my mum for a long part of the relationship so I was very used to her ways and we had a very strong connection. I was a wreck, check some of my old posts, I really struggled to cope with losing this girl, It didn't help the fact we work for the same company and I am absolutely useless at strict NC (couldn't seem to drift from looking at social media etc) She left me and found someone else rather soon after B/U, then split up with him and is now with someone else who she claims to love and seems the real deal, There would be odd bits of contact here and there and there were many times I made a very big fool of myself. It took me around 11 months to finally realize she was never coming back, I implemented a decent standard of NC and didn't speak to her for around 5 months, I avoided her offices and places she would be and focused on regaining my life back. Start of this year I vowed to make a conscious effort to try and put all of this behind me, I made a huge impact at work and won employee of the quarter, I upgraded my image and personality and have made an effort to better myself in pretty much all ways, I have had an excellent start to the year. Along with all of these positive points I met a girl called Georgia, She is beautiful and kind and has my best interests at heart. I couldn't believe just how much my life had turned around and I was feeling so positive and happy. My ex felt just like a distant memory. I wasn't as anxious over potentially seeing her and I looked at it as a chapter of my life that sadly just wasn't meant to happen. This is the problem. Around a week ago I got a message from a number that wasn't saved. It was her. Bear in mind I hadn't spoken to her for a long long time maybe 3-4 months. One of our colleagues was leaving and she decided to text me to see if I was going and how i was. I replied and we had a quick chat and a laugh and that I would see her there. The week after, the day came, I avoided her fairly well and kind of lingered with my male colleagues and had a drink, she made a point of speaking to me about whether I had bought her anything. I kind of cut off the conversation quickly as I started to feel uncomfortable and anxious. That was that. She said goodbye to everyone and left. Shortly afterwards I had a phone call off her, asking me if I wanted a lift home as I seemed down and she was going that way. I declined and said I was staying for a couple of drinks. I messaged her a bit later saying I apologize as it would of been nice to catch up, she then says she is at a pub near my house and I'm welcome to join her. "please do not shoot me" I went. we caught up and had a very good laugh and reminisced and just talked and talked. Nothing was mentioned about boyfriends, which led me to believe she wasn't with him anymore. We left it there and hugged went our separate ways. We have spoke a couple of times since then over text and had really good conversations/laughs/catch ups. We were speaking yesterday and I asked if she was free to talk on the phone that night so I could talk to her about some things at work, her response was "sorry, I'm not really free, but I can talk now" so I know she will be with her partner. Unfortunately I couldn't talk at that time. What I need from you guys is advice. She is more on my mind now than ever before after break up and it is really confusing me and messing me up. Why is she doing this? Its also causing issues between me and Georgia. I'm not showing her enough attention because my ex is on my mind which isn't fair..I don't know who I'm kidding but deep down I feel like me and ex have a chance? It just seems to have reignited all of those feelings and thoughts. I was having such a good start to the year then out of nowhere this happens. Apologies for this long post. I have not posted for a long time and really needed to get that out. I would really appreciate your advice. Thanks All
Oneness Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 I don't get a good feeling about this. She up and dumped you, blindsided you - that is a true indication of her character. I know it feels comfortable, slipping back into the connection you had with her - that is not unusual, but not wise. If you really care for this girl Georgia, I would not hurt her this way. If your ex has a bf, you should respect that relationship as well. I see a world of hurt happening to everyone involved if you pursue this any further. If you want another chance with her, you need to have a very honest conversation with her and ask if there is a chance for you to get back together. But remember what she did to you before, and realize what you might be setting yourself up for. But don't continue as you are doing, hurting Georgia and a posbily much healthier relatoinship then you had with your ex.
Author Frankie L Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 I don't get a good feeling about this. She up and dumped you, blindsided you - that is a true indication of her character. I know it feels comfortable, slipping back into the connection you had with her - that is not unusual, but not wise. If you really care for this girl Georgia, I would not hurt her this way. If your ex has a bf, you should respect that relationship as well. I see a world of hurt happening to everyone involved if you pursue this any further. If you want another chance with her, you need to have a very honest conversation with her and ask if there is a chance for you to get back together. But remember what she did to you before, and realize what you might be setting yourself up for. But don't continue as you are doing, hurting Georgia and a posbily much healthier relatoinship then you had with your ex. Exactly I'm aware that this is uncomfortable for both parties. I really don't want to hurt Georgia, she has noticed a change in me since contact has been re initiated. My ex is on my mind more and more. I take your advice on board. I just feel as though I have fell back a few steps which is bad. What would you advise me to do if she pops up again? Struggling to establish next step
Recommended Posts