dezzy1028p Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 It's been two months after our breakup and i was with him for about a year and a half. I'm finding it hardest to cope because of seeing other relationships...I know it sounds silly and I should be happy for other people when I see happy relationships. Sometimes I do feel happy and I tell myself that I'll be in that position one day with someone special..then majority of the time I feel bitter, depressed, angry, and just remembering things I had with my ex. I try to snap out of it or change topics, but it is crazy hard. I have been forcing myself to be busy as well so I don't think about him. But I don't know how to ease the pain when I see other couples (because majority of my friends are in relationships)? And I can't listen to music about love either...and with Valentine's Day coming along...ugh I cant wait till that day passes.. Maybe this feeling will go away over time.. Is this a normal feeling, I know it's not good to feel this way or think this way.
Reels Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Two months is very recent, so yes it is a normal feeling. You can care less about these things for some time, and look for some other things that are yet to be fixed.
ZiggyZoo Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Oh, yes, this is perfectly normal. Especially with Valentine's Day coming too, like you said. I remember crying a LOT the first Valentine's after my ex-husband left, and that was five months after the fact. So I'd say cut yourself some slack and just feel what you feel. One of the best pieces of advice I earned from my excellent therapist is to not judge your feelings. Don't tell yourself that you shouldn't feel a certain way, or that an emotion is "bad". That's just going to make you feel guilty about feeling that way, which doesn't help at all. Just let them be, experience them, and let them pass when they will. It'll take as long as it takes to feel better, but you will. This is a hard week though. Hang in there, and lets all be glad that Valentine's Day only comes once a year! 2
Author dezzy1028p Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Oh, yes, this is perfectly normal. Especially with Valentine's Day coming too, like you said. I remember crying a LOT the first Valentine's after my ex-husband left, and that was five months after the fact. So I'd say cut yourself some slack and just feel what you feel. One of the best pieces of advice I earned from my excellent therapist is to not judge your feelings. Don't tell yourself that you shouldn't feel a certain way, or that an emotion is "bad". That's just going to make you feel guilty about feeling that way, which doesn't help at all. Just let them be, experience them, and let them pass when they will. It'll take as long as it takes to feel better, but you will. This is a hard week though. Hang in there, and lets all be glad that Valentine's Day only comes once a year! Thank you so much! It's nice to hear that people have experienced the same things too. I kept getting upset that I shouldn't feel bitter towards other couples...and they aren't even doing anything to me, they are just being happy with themselves. I tried to fight the feeling because I didn't want to experience the pain. I kept questioning when will the pain end, and that it would end if i force myself to end it. But it's nice to know that the feelings will go away eventually and I should just fight what i feel. I know at least that Holiday comes once a year..i can't wait till it's over. Thank you for the advice, I really do appreciate it. 1
ralfgarnett Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 It's been two months after our breakup and i was with him for about a year and a half. I'm finding it hardest to cope because of seeing other relationships...I know it sounds silly and I should be happy for other people when I see happy relationships. Sometimes I do feel happy and I tell myself that I'll be in that position one day with someone special..then majority of the time I feel bitter, depressed, angry, and just remembering things I had with my ex. I try to snap out of it or change topics, but it is crazy hard. I have been forcing myself to be busy as well so I don't think about him. But I don't know how to ease the pain when I see other couples (because majority of my friends are in relationships)? And I can't listen to music about love either...and with Valentine's Day coming along...ugh I cant wait till that day passes.. Maybe this feeling will go away over time.. Is this a normal feeling, I know it's not good to feel this way or think this way. Oh yes this rings so true with me, I am 7 months apart from my wife after nearly 20 years together, the thought of valentines day makes me sick and I have cried already today just thinking about it, all perfectly normal and healthy emotions there is nothing you can do about them so just ride the wave then let them pass the best you can.
na49 Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 You're better than I am lol. I see other couples, and hope that they fail. I'm just very bitter because of the loss of my own relationship though. I know when I was in a relationship, I wanted everyone's relationship to last even if they didn't. I wish I could fast forward through this week, because Valentine's Day is such a difficult time to deal with when your getting over a breakup. It's a constant reminder of what you don't have.
ForgingAhead Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 I didn't really "hate" on seeing couples, it was just my desire to be as happy as they appeared. One thing that I like to do is observe their dynamic e.g. which is more affectionate, what do they see in eachother etc.. Keep in mind that nature abhors a vacuum, so when there is an empty space, nature will fill that space. It's not easy, and with Valentine's day coming, try and remember to love yourself, and that you're a survivor.
ballycastle Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 One thing that I like to do is observe their dynamic e.g. which is more affectionate, what do they see in eachother etc.. Keep in mind that nature abhors a vacuum, so when there is an empty space, nature will fill that space. Hi ForgingAhead, Thanks for your quote, but I am struggling to fathom what it means? Can you elaborate? Thanks
ForgingAhead Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Hi ballycastle, In context, I'm applying the space that was once occupied by your ex (General usage of your) as now being empty. When the time is right either random occurrence at the grocery store, or as an individual putting working on themselves, getting better, having a better outlook, and kicking a$$ will result in that empty space (the vacuum), to eventually be filled by someone.
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