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How can you tell if a guy that is complimenting/hitting on a woman is a pervert?

spanishchick00

By spanishchick00
in General Relationship Discussion

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spanishchick00 Established Member

spanishchick00

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Awhile back I had an issue with a creepy 55 year old something man that kept complimenting me, and whenever he did that, I never wore makeup, I wore old jeans, tennis shoes and I had my winter coat on. I mean, come on...a guy in his mid 20's or 30's (someone close to my age) wouldn't even take one look at me knowing that I'm dressed this way. Yet, some 55 year old dude thinks I look "hot." I felt appalled by this. Aren't perverts the only ones that say that to women that are dressed down?

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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How can you tell if a guy that is complimenting/hitting on a woman is a pervert?

 

Is he a man?

 

Then yes he is a pervert.

 

Awhile back I had an issue with a creepy 55 year old something man that kept complimenting me, and whenever he did that, I never wore makeup, I wore old jeans, tennis shoes and I had my winter coat on. I mean, come on...a guy in his mid 20's or 30's (someone close to my age) wouldn't even take one look at me knowing that I'm dressed this way. Yet, some 55 year old dude thinks I look "hot." I felt appalled by this. Aren't perverts the only ones that say that to women that are dressed down?

 

Maybe he thought you looked hot in your winter coat? What was the temperature outside?

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spanishchick00 Established Member

spanishchick00

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No, he didn't mean I looked hot, like sweaty. He would tell me how good I looked when I wasn't even dolled up.

OrangeParty Established Member

OrangeParty

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Is he a man unattractive?

 

Then yes he is a pervert.

Fixed for you.

 

The age gap is creepy, but a compliment does not make someone a pervert. Not all men think that a woman must be "dolled up" and have lots of makeup to be considered attractive.

 

Unless he's doing stuff like leering at you constantly, following you around, surreptitiously taking photos of you with a phone, making catcalls.... take it for what it is; a compliment.

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Mangina Established Member

Mangina

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Yeah preverts are the only guys who complement girls when they look natural and casual.

 

As an ugly guy, reading this makes not want to say anything at all to girls. How the heck do you win in this situation. Even if you are not trying to hit on them, just being nice, you still suck.

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ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

Posted
Posted (edited)
Awhile back I had an issue with a creepy 55 year old something man that kept complimenting me, and whenever he did that, I never wore makeup, I wore old jeans, tennis shoes and I had my winter coat on. I mean, come on...a guy in his mid 20's or 30's (someone close to my age) wouldn't even take one look at me knowing that I'm dressed this way. Yet, some 55 year old dude thinks I look "hot." I felt appalled by this. Aren't perverts the only ones that say that to women that are dressed down?

 

You are selling yourself short if you really believe that (bolded part). You really think you go from a 2-3 to a 7-8 in looks with makeup, new jeans, no coat and heels. Hardly. Guys will still check you out plenty in winter or summer, eye shadow/liner or not. Do you expect your bfs to only ever say nice things about the way you look only after you've painted up your face or got dressed up stylish. I bet you'd be pissed if they did the opposite of the older guy.

 

I think you are over reacting on this old guy just because he is past his prime and now into the 'eeeew creeepy old' guy category. Take a compliment from an older guy (or woman) in your stride, and smile back and give him a little fun/flirty convo (then go on your way) and make his day. Also giving someone a complement doesn't mean they think you are hot and want to bone you...those thoughts are in your head. When your old at 55 I bet you'll get a kick out of younger guys (though you might call them desperate weirdos then) complementing you.

Edited by ascendotum
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Radu Established Member

Radu

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If it's one thing that guys have a talent with it is undressing a woman in the first few seconds.

We know how you look.

We have already run tons of combinations on how flabby your stomach is, your chest looks ... how your legs look.

 

We may be short on imagination ... but not when it comes to this.

 

No make-up or effort does not mean that you end up like ascend said ... from 8 to 2 [though you may feel like it].

I honestly have no idea what his deal is [and i have no idea what your age is either].

 

If it's innocent on his part ... it could be that he appreciates it when a woman gets rid of the necessity of make-up.

Or he may just have tried to compliment you.

 

PS: OP ... this is not to hurt you, but this lack of a manual of when you are creepy/pervert and not even when you just may try to appear innocent is the main reason a lot of guys don't approach.

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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He complimented you ...compliments are not pervy unless they contain drool and that isnt something an older guy would just do either.........deb

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Frank2thepoint Established Member

Frank2thepoint

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Aren't perverts the only ones that say that to women that are dressed down?

 

LOL, oh man did I laugh hard at this. According to you spanishchick00, a woman should only accept compliments if she is all dolled up. Good thing you don't speak for many women, because the human species would be in big trouble. :laugh:

StringsAndSticks Member

StringsAndSticks

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It doesn't matter how old he is. He appreciates your natural beauty? Oh no, how horrible! A guy thinks a girl looks good.... That's not creepy.

Jessie1231 Established Member

Jessie1231

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Some people are just friendly and give compliments. I don't consider them perverts, just nice people. I'm guessing you've never had a run-in with someone who was truly perverted and creepy if this is how you define it.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Usually perverts, of my age group anyway, see all women as objects so, whether the woman is 13 or 83, he's the same dirty old man with all. I've been around enough of them to know them. The commonality is, IME, they treat women pretty much all the same way. They don't discriminate. I mention my age group because I am 55 and the OP mentioned the suspected pervert is 55.

 

So, OP, if the guy is hitting on your mother and daughter too, he's probably a pervert.

 

As far as complimenting goes, in some cultures that's mere pleasantry and in others it's sexual interest. Depends on the compliment and the context of interaction and, again, if he's complimenting just you or every woman in the room.

 

Pro tip about older men, being one: We often forget that you see an old guy. We don't feel old inside except perhaps when we look in the mirror. Hence, when interacting with a young woman, like one young enough to be our daughter or granddaughter, we see through the same eyes and with the same brain which did interact with, love, have sex, make babies, etc, such women in our lifetimes. Sure, some guys are more self-aware of their 'place' than others, but what I stated above is general default. Expect it.

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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Why is a guy who enjoys the sight, company and conversation of women, a pervert? Was he wearing a skin tight rubber chicken costume at the time?

 

A 55 year old guy hitting on a 20-something? Creepy, maybe. Perverted, no.

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