Rude boy Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 I'm not entirely sure where to put this, but here it goes. My ex is the mother of my child who is almost a year old. We are trying to be friends for our daughter. They come spend the night at my place on occasion and in the morning they will come in my room and watch me get ready for work. Depending on how much time I have I will lay down and let my daughter touch my tie. I go on dates with other women and a few nights ago a girl came back to my place and we messed around. This girl and I have never dated, but have had benefits before. I got nervous and I wouldn't sleep with her so we just talked about my daughter and how much I love her. Next day, my ex calls me furious. How dare I sleep with that girl and it disrespected our daughter. I did not have sex with her and told my ex the last time I had sex was the last time we had sex over a year ago because I don't trust girls now. I don't want more babies. I wasn't even interested in my baby until she was born. If I sleep with my ex, we probably will have more kids because she is crazy. All day I've gotten texts about disrespecting my baby and how horrible I am and she won't let anyone else take me from our daughter. Followed by some other really nasty texts. I have no idea what to do about this woman.
yajiuma Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 I've read some of your previous threads. Your ex is obviously still planning on getting back with you- that's why she went ballistic about the girl spending the night. You really shouldn't let your ex spend nights with you as it may give her false hope. You need to get parental/visitation rights legally established and stick to them. Pick up and drop off your child in a very business like manner- no in between stuff that will lead to trouble latter on. Basically establish clear boundaries and be firm on calling your ex out if she tries to overstep (ie. it's none of her business who you see ) good luck!
Zahara Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 (edited) You can't be that obtuse. You're acting like happy family having her and your child sleep over and then you're confused as to why she's upset? She probably thinks you both are going to get back together. You've received a lot of advice in your past threads. See an attorney and finalize visitation rights/schedule/pickup/drop off and abide by it. You both get to be in your child's life while keeping your private lives separate from each other. If you're not wanting to get back with her, boundaries need to be in place. Why does she have to be with the child while you have her? I can't help but wonder if she's using the child to keep a foot in your door. Edited February 10, 2015 by Zahara
Ieris Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Your ex sounds pretty obsessive, "she won't let anyone else take me from our daughter/How dare I sleep with that girl and it disrespected our daughter", what is she on about? The words how dare you, speaking like she owns you and as if you need her permission. What makes her think she can be nasty to you after what she did to you (I read your other threads)? I'm glad you have a brother who has your back, your family only wants the best for you and she isn't it. So be cautious with how she is using your daughter to wiggle her way back into your life. You need to set some boundaries, don't let her sleep in your bed and don't let her think she has a chance if she doesn't. It's just disgusting how she is dragging your child into it when it has nothing to do with her, using your daughter to guilt trip you because she knows how much you adore her. You don't need to explain who you're seeing/sleeping with, it's none of her business but yours. I know you want to stay on friendly terms with your ex but like the yajiuma & Zahara said, sort out the parental/visitation rights legally just incase your ex starts using your daughter as a bargaining chip to get to you, eg. limiting the contact you have with her etc.
Chi townD Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Wow, to be honest, it sounds like a jealous woman that thought she had a chance at coming back. Spending time with you, staying the night over at your place and the two of them watching you get ready for work in the morning and seeing you off for your day. She probably was warming up to the possibility of being a family again. Just a thought. You know her better than I do. But, to me, that's how it reads.
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