beckles Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Hey, kind of unsure what to do my ex who almost certainly has GIGS (he moved to New Zealand to pursue a career and 'sow his oats' because I was his first girlfriend/sexual partner and wasn't sure about me) contacted me yesterday after 10 days NC. When we last spoke, he told me he would contact me within a week, which he didn't so I was surprised to get a message from him. He just said 'Hey! How are you? Sorry I haven't really been in touch! I'm free for a chat now if you want or if you don't thats ok too! Hope you are doing ok!'. It really threw me getting that message from him even though he told me he would talk to me. I feel like thats the only reason he did text me and it was like a pity text. That was last night and I haven't replied, should I? I don't want to be rude about it, but then again he chose a life without me so he has to live with that? Confused
darkbloom Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 That is a breadcrumb text. NC is NC. He might get angry if you don't answer but that is not your problem. He wanted to break up so he does not get to choose whether or not you stay in contact. The only text I would respond to is: "I messed up. I am so sorry. I will do whatever it takes to get you back." Otherwise, don't answer and move on with your life. 1
Author beckles Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 Ya you are definitely right! I'm new here and not entirely sure what is meant by breadcrumb? I feel like he only text because he said he would and didn't want to be rude? Not because he actually wanted to talk to me.. or is that what a breadcrumb is, a pity message?
ForgingAhead Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Ya you are definitely right! I'm new here and not entirely sure what is meant by breadcrumb? I feel like he only text because he said he would and didn't want to be rude? Not because he actually wanted to talk to me.. or is that what a breadcrumb is, a pity message? He's trying to engage you, and by responding it will slow down or cause your road to healing to regress. I know it's easier said than done, and I'm not judging if you do respond. Keep in mind what purpose does his text serve. If he can send a txt equivalent to some chit chat, he could surely send you one stating he wants to work on reconciliation.
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