AspiringRomantic Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 So my story is long but I'll try to be brief. I'm very emotionally interested in my friends little sister. I've known her for 4 years and I am also 4 years older than her. Age isn't a problem anymore bc she is 17 now and I'm 21. In the time that we knew each other I always knew she had a crush on me. Deep down inside I did too, but it was kind of creepy to be into a girl that much younger, so I never let it on to anyone. Fast forward to now, a lot of my friends see our connection and joke about when we are going to date. I couldn't wait much longer so I called her up and asked her out on a date. She said yes but had to hang up bc she was too nervous. The thing is this happened over winter break and I really screwed up the timing bc she had gallbladder surgery the next day. So for the next 2 weeks she was texting me asking things bc she was totally shocked. We never went on a date bc she had to recover and she said she had a lot of hw to catch up on. In reality I have a friend who has a lot of the inside info on the sitch, so I know that she was just nervous and is thinking about long term stuff already bc she is going to college in the fall (8 hours drive) and is nervous about how things will end up. 1 week before I had to go back to school she says she wants to wait until summer. I said I could wait for her. I'm now stuck in limbo thinking about this girl and what will happen. I've never been romantic before in my life so this is really feeling too real for me. I've never had a gf not bc I'm unattractive but bc I never found a girl that i really wanted to pursue. I'm not a guy that cares about sex at all either. I had sex once and couldn't really enjoy it bc I was thinking of her. I actually didn't even cum. So I am now trying really hard to hold back my emotions and not let out any more of my feelings towards her. After she told me to wait, we ceased texting I think bc she can't handle thinking about me but the awkward part is that we both look at each other's snapchat stories all the time and I only got one bc she is into it. So just to make sure she was thinking of me I left a little heart shaped lock on her car door the day I left back for college. She did end texting me the next day asking if it was me, but I denied it (this is me trying to be romantic). I'm keeping the key around my neck, hoping that she will realize after 4 months that I'm symbolically holding the "key to her heart" the whole time. I've also just ordered a dozen flowers to be delivered to her house on valentines day. I left it anonymous and I'm going to blame it on this innocuous "stalker" that she must have. This is my way of showing her I really care about her without seeming needy or too creepy, but I'm starting to second guess these acts. This is as far as I'll go. I plan on not engaging any conversation with her until summer rolls around so she can wonder about whether or not these acts were me and then find that is was indeed when she sees the key around my neck. That's my plan. I guess I forgot to mention that her brother (my very good friend) is very ok with it and her parents also are trying to convince her to date me. Now my question is: am I fulfilling this little girl's romantic dream? Because as of late that's all I care about achieving.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 The hell? No, this is not the way to go about being romantic. Sending her anonymous gifts and playing dumb when she asks if it was you is weak, man. You're shooting yourself in the foot because this will make you look too insecure and afraid. which is not attractive. I am sure you had good intentions but take it from another girl - this is not the best method of gaining her attention. I think she is probably too young and inexperienced to give you what you're looking for. The fact that she couldn't even conduct a phone call with you indicates she's just not ready yet, unfortunately. She shouldn't need convincing from her brother or her parents or anyone else. That's not fair to her or you.
Author AspiringRomantic Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 I get what you're saying and that's why I'm conflicted. But let me just set some things straight. Her parents knew that she really liked me bc she would tell them a lot. That's why her brother started hinting at it to me. Now he hasn't said anything to her as far as I know other than us getting together wouldn't change our friendship. She's just nervous bc she likes me and has never been on a real date( I asked her to dinner) but then again neither have I. I think she can give me exactly what I want, because we both have the romantic maturity of a high schooler. I'm almost head over heels for this girl and the only reason I am remaining anonymous is bc when we started to text eachother about our true feelings it was like a leak in a dam that wants to unleash its full force. I want to create intrigue so that way she can wonder if I still care about her. If I said oh yea that was me he he, it takes all the fun and mysteriousness out of it. Also I don't want to have to share any more of my feelings over text, I want to do it in person, when we are alone together on our first date. Understand I'm not just going to give this up. This is quite possibly my dream girl. If I have to wait years for her to be ready, I'm prepared to.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 So what is your question, exactly? If you are convinced this is the way to go about getting her, you don't need our feedback. I will only say that it is a bit short-sighted to claim you'll wait years for her when she hasn't even accepted a date. You are romanticizing this in a huge way; make sure you keep your feet on the ground or you're taking a huge risk getting hurt. Remember she will be leaving relatively soon and may well meet other guys.
Author AspiringRomantic Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 I'm not fully convinced. I wanted an outside opinion bc I haven't told anybody that I'm doing this. I think you may have just convinced me to change the contents of the message in the flowers. I had it say: while some things are best left unsaid, some are better said without words. I planned on using this to post justify why it was best that we had NC while I was away. But I want to change it now, was thinking of a flower metaphor, something along the lines of waiting for it to bloom. Is this weird and creepy? Also I don't want to give away that it's me so easily. I was thinking of using an alias: this is a strange thought but she calls me captain america so I was thinking signing it Steve R, to really throw her off- you probably didn't catch that one but Steve Rogers is captain Americas name
okc85 Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 she's too young. You will get hurt. That's almost a guarantee. Sincerely, 29 year old. 1
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