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Old Guy Friend, Too Needy


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Posted (edited)

I'm a happily married woman, but I have a guy friend whom I've known for around 7 years who is very needy of me lately. I would consider him to be a friend of my H as well, but he mainly contacts me. Normally, I'm very patient, but this is getting out of hand. He will text me really late at night just to say "hi", or he will continuously text me even after I've informed him that I'm busy studying. If I don't answer him right away, he will prompt me. I'm starting to feel like this is getting to be inappropriate on his part. Like I said, I'm married, and I've only ever seen this guy as a friend. I feel for him because I do know he is lonely after his recent breakup, but I need to draw a boundary. Is there any tactful way of doing this without hurting him?

Edited by mercuryshadow
Posted

Be honest, tell him that he can't text you so late at night and that he also needs to reach out to other friends not just you.

 

It's obvious he has feelings for you and it seems your friendship has to change. Meaning, put boundaries there and make sure he understands that you are busy, you are married and it's wrong of him to try to take up so much of your time, whether it be through texting or calls.

Posted
Is there any tactful way of doing this without hurting him?

not really. you need to tell him to stop this behaviour. if he still does not, then stop responding to his messages

Posted

You have to set your boundaries, let him know that he needs to respect your space and if he doesn't then you'll end all contact with him and mean it...I know its a harsh and hurtful thing to do to him but if he is really your friend. Then he'll respect that.

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