Christophe Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 It's been 8 months since my ex girlfriend broke up with me and overall I have improved a lot. I don't think about her as often and don't feel sick and wondering what she is up to like before. I am on the road to becoming more confident in myself however I do still think about love at times and remember what i had with my ex and wonder if it is honestly really possible to feel that way again. After 8 months I have not met any girls who made me feel like my ex did. We had an instant connection and I cannot describe how effortless it was (particularly as she was my first relationship). She is certainly not on the pedestal she used to be on but she was honestly the most beautiful girl I have ever met and she was crazy about me. I have never felt so good in all my life than when I was with her. I felt strong, confident, good-looking and in control. Now I don't seem to notice any attention from girls and if I do it's only as friends. I have not kissed a girl or had sex in 8 months and it drives me crazy sometimes! I am not desperate but I feel the lack of it quite keenly at times (I think particularly now as Valentine's Day is coming up and I can't escape seeing everyone else who are in relationships and the fact that this time last year I was in love too and so happy). I have been attracted to another girl since my ex which I guess is a positive although I still feel that she cannot compare physically to my ex and personality wise she is quite different to me. Anyway I just wanted a little help and advice because although I am doing better I still get kind of low at times when I remember what I had and find it very difficult to believe a girl as beautiful and sweet (as my ex was when I met her) can come into my life and be crazy about me again. I am almost 24 and I know people say I have loads of time I just feel like I am wasting that time by not being with a girl or even just not being sexually active. It's just so frustrating at times. I don't know how well I have expressed myself but I hope you get the idea that I still struggle to keep hope that I can fall in love so deeply again and that someone can fall in love with me as deeply as my ex did too. Thanks guys. Hope you can help me out a bit. Chris
NopeNah Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Once you get your confidence back the girls will come around more. I've just started dating again and still compare them to my ex. It's only natural. I'm honest and upfront with them about where my heads currently at. Surprisingly, they understand. 2
Author Christophe Posted February 9, 2015 Author Posted February 9, 2015 Thanks mate yes I hope you are right. I think my confidence is coming back gradually. Still have not had any physical relationship with a girl since the break up 8 months ago. Can be tough sometimes but doing my best to stay positive and not dwell too much.
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Everybody mourns & heals at a different rate. You can't measure it on a calendar. You do need to remember that your new relationship will be different than your last relationship because it will be with a new person. 1
questionsforthenouns Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 You'll get back man. In August 2013 I was dumped, and I was completely devastated. It took me about 6 months to get to a place where I was even remotely excited about the future and able to be happy about things. So yeah man these things take time. I felt the same way as you; I felt like there was no way I could meet a girl as beautiful and incredible as my ex. Regardless, I got on track towards recovering. I went to the gym and started boxing, I went out all the time to try to meet new people, and sure enough, not too long after, I met an amazing girl! We aren't together anymore but that's beside the point. You'll get back to where you once were. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody. Stay strong bro 1
Author Christophe Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 Thanks for sharing your situation. It does help give me some hope. I have been far more social and met more people since the break up. I guess maybe that is why its tough for me at times as i meet a lot of people but havent found that connection again like i did when i met my ex. I am doing better than i was and i am trying to.acknowledge that and not be too hard on myself or expect too much in social situations.
questionsforthenouns Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Exactly, you just need to keep an open mind and not put so much emphasis on meeting a replacement for your ex. Don't raise your standards too high because that could prevent you from meeting some truly incredible people that might otherwise be overlooked. The right girl is going to come along, you just need to ride the wave and let her come to you. 1
NopeNah Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Here's how "paranoid" I am now with dating: I've started a points system when I talk to girls I'm seeing. I deduct for the red flags and add for the green. I think it's crazy and smart at the same time. 1
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