ttgg88 Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Me and her met in a restaurant working to together. I was there first and then she came. I had known from that point I would love her. We were cool as friends. She and another girl were messing with these other coworkers. So I just befriended her. Well he messed up. By talking to other girls or whatever. So then I felt it was a great time to confess my love for her. We ended up together for 2 1/2 years. This would have been our third year. Into the relationship it was kinda of hard because I was cool with the guy she used to talk to. It was so bent over getting her back. So me and her decided to kinda hide our relationship. People knew but only what we allowed. So this was frustrating. She thought I flirted with other girls when I was only being nice. She had acknowledged her jealousy. I knew. On my side I was only used to temporary so I made a dumb mistake of cheating. Yes I did. I was so scared of long-term that I actually ran from it. She was so different in a good way. I mean we had our problems but she was just awesome. By this time we had different jobs. She was at a hospital and I was at another restaurant. I talked to a girl there (Melanie) and had sex with her once. I told her about that. We worked through it. Both of us are extremely stubborn so it made it that much harder. She became extremely clingy and I understood it. I mean she had every right to be. As time went on we made new memories. I loved her daughter as if she were mine. She would call me dad. Made me so happy but afraid as well. This was only because I knew I wanted a future with her and her daughter. But I still kinda ran. Talking to girls that I didn't tell her about. I did nothing with them! Just didn't communicate. All I was used to was temporary and me talking to those other girls was exactly what that was. Instead of telling the one I love this I shut down. Meaning I didn't tell her or didn't trust she would know what to do. I was a extremely wrong. It was always something. So Melanie from the restaurant would become a stalker and see this as a battle. So I would change my number she would find it. Till one day I actually walked out because I didn't want to be apart of it anymore and I did this so that my girl wouldn't worry so much. But every time things were going good she her number would pop up. And I'm stuck trying to explain how it got there. I wanted to but nothing...I had nothing. My girl was hurt so bad. So we are doing good now. She became extremely clingy and I did as well. We both loved each other's company though. So about 4 months ago thing we're good. We just got clingy so when we wanted each other's company we wanted exactly that. We expected each other to come through. She was extremely Busy but times she did want me there I decided not to because I wanted just her. So that was my fault. Or did she know I wouldn't want to come? Anyway I tried so hard and kept trying. The day we were supposed to chill she brought me food and I thought we were chilling but since her sisters boyfriend DID not show up to take the little girls to see Santa my girl had to go. Pissed me off completely. I texted her a group of words that I would regret forever. I said I think we should split up. I was only mad because I wanted her. I thought it would bring her to me. Yes this is extremely wrong I know. Treating someone is not what you do when you love them like there is no tomorrow. She accepted it. We were still talking after the break up. I felt as though she dumped me. I did everything a dumpee would do. Letters...flowers....text...everything. She texted me one day said look we can Make this work. So I was so happy. Things were kinda good. I mean I still hadda give her space. Then one day she is confused. About everything! How is this possible. We were in love now she is confused? Since I have changed which is why I don't really regret this happening. I know that I was running from my fears. I needed to lock myself in a room and let change thrust upon me. I understood why I felt how I felt and how my masculinity effected alottttt. But I have made some mistakes as well. My first mistake is trying to hard. This was on both of us because she sent so many mixed signals. We both made plans to get a second car and house. Now that is not even a choice. Second mistake is I got drunk seen her car at someone else house by a mutual friend of ours. Like I never knew this person or a friend of hers stayed there. She never told me. I called her basically asking for closure. She was very mad. Third mistakes was I posted a text message from this girl I was talking to. She is very interested in me as I am not her. So I posted it out of anger. My ex friends told me she needed to another girl trying to get with me. And that no girl wants a guy who wants them. Before this I blocked her so she wouldn't see. Didn't work. Since her ex has been talking her about a break up he going through. So she has been talking to him about us. Since this has happened he has been telling me everything. I have had more closure from her talking to him and the Things she say. Like I'm done or I can't be in a relationship anytime soon. But that's not what I got. She sent me text from him and her. Saying basically I can't talk to you because I'm working on things with him(me) and then come tell me something like I'm confused. Huh? So he called the night I got drunk and told me she had another dude. Messed up right. Then sent me all of my ex and him Talking text messages. And I'm pretty sure he sent the post I put up of me and that new girl talking. I text her apologizing for her seeing those messages. Basically told me to leave her alone and that she didn't believe anything I said. She has changed her number. but all of our pictures and statuses are up on Twitter and instagram. What does this mean?. I initiated no contact...She broke it...I got emotional all over again...then she initiated no contact..it's like every thing I initiate she comes back and does it. Or so it seems. said her anxiety is to much for her. Set a date to see her...after the no contact....She basically said it wouldn't help anything. like how do you know that? Just sad. Does she still miss me or does she think me and this girl are together. After all she said " she's pretty talk to her" and I'm like I don't want her she is already moving to fast for me. I'm still in love with you. Didn't tell her that but she knows. Does she think I already been messing with this girl? Is this what she needed to move on. She would tell me to move on..date...did she really mean it? alot of questions..no answers...
Recommended Posts