Reinventing myself and my environment was the answer.. so I thought

[Just_Me_Again]

So, I'm about to the point of banging my head against the wall and rocking back and forth uttering a mad giggle between mumbles. I figured I'd just reinvent myself.. you know.. new outlook, new attitude, new goals. Live my life as if it already is everything I want it to be.

 

Here I sit, the same self, in the same clutter, with the same mood. I've had nothing but one set back after another with even my smallest goals. Physical things, financial things, plans that backfire, etc.

 

I'm still as lost as I was a few years ago, only now, I'm mad about it. I have realized I have no idea what I need and how I truly want my life to be. I have lost my passion, and can't find joy anymore in anything at all. I feel like the walking definition of being in limbo. Like a balloon tethered to a pole in the middle of nowhere.. the days just keep going by, and there I am, stuck.

 

How do you figure out what you really need and want? How do you find a direction when you have no passion to follow or plan or idea? Uggh. I'm driving myself nuts. I'm sick and tired and bored of being sick and tired and bored! I just don't know HOW to turn it all around. Anyone else totally lost?

[Kellens]

I'm going through something kind of similar. After a bad breakup I decided to try to change my life a bit. I cut some people out of my life, worked on myself, lost weight and moved to a completely different area. I have been having "fun" dating, it is new and exciting but at the end of the day I still feel kind of unfulfilled. I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for but I don't think I should even be dating right now. When you first connect with someone that you like its exciting but that wears off for me fairly easily. I kind of feel like I am stuck in a rut and don't know how to get out. I'm not really interested in talking to any of my friends either, I don't think anyone really understands. I think I use dating as a way to reinvent myself since these guys are strangers I can be more of a "free" kind of me.

If you start by making small goals for yourself, even if its changing around a room in your apartment/house, going to the gym, or talking to a new person, that might kick start something inside of you to do more. I find the little victories the most satisfying. That is what I'm currently trying to do with myself. I'm trying to refuse to be miserable, the more you think about it the worse it gets.

Good luck!

[geekgetsgirl]

Hey guys, sorry to hear about your situation.

 

I highly recommend taking some time to travel or go camping. Go by yourself and don't have a schedule. Allow yourself plenty of time to enjoy the moments and reflect upon your own life. Don't be in a rush, walk slowly, eat slowly and think slowly.

 

Allow your brain to subconsciously work through issues and allow truths about yourself to come to the surface. Sounds cheesy, but it works.

 

Best of luck.

[cerridwen]

 

How do you figure out what you really need and want? How do you find a direction when you have no passion to follow or plan or idea? Uggh. I'm driving myself nuts. I'm sick and tired and bored of being sick and tired and bored! I just don't know HOW to turn it all around. Anyone else totally lost?

 

Are you familiar with mind maps?

They may help with your situation.

Because from what Im reading, you don't sound at a loss for ideas, just how to untangle them in your head and execute.

 

There are many types of mind maps so in case I am wrong and you DO need ideas, they can help with that too.

[Rainbowlove]

So, I'm about to the point of banging my head against the wall and rocking back and forth uttering a mad giggle between mumbles. I figured I'd just reinvent myself.. you know.. new outlook, new attitude, new goals. Live my life as if it already is everything I want it to be.

 

Here I sit, the same self, in the same clutter, with the same mood. I've had nothing but one set back after another with even my smallest goals. Physical things, financial things, plans that backfire, etc.

 

I'm still as lost as I was a few years ago, only now, I'm mad about it. I have realized I have no idea what I need and how I truly want my life to be. I have lost my passion, and can't find joy anymore in anything at all. I feel like the walking definition of being in limbo. Like a balloon tethered to a pole in the middle of nowhere.. the days just keep going by, and there I am, stuck.

 

How do you figure out what you really need and want? How do you find a direction when you have no passion to follow or plan or idea? Uggh. I'm driving myself nuts. I'm sick and tired and bored of being sick and tired and bored! I just don't know HOW to turn it all around. Anyone else totally lost?

 

There is a quote to a song by John Mellencamp - Jackie and Diane:

 

"Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone."

 

I think it's normal to get into ruts. What you are describing doesn't sound like a rut, though.

 

Any history of depression?

 

Age is a factor, too. Sometime we think or get stuck in the belief that by a certain age we should have X,Y and Z accomplished.

 

I can tell you this...motivation is something you have to work towards. No matter what your goal is...you have got to get up everyday and make it happen. The world will not just dump things into your lap...well, sometimes it does, but lots of times we make things happen.

 

Are you looking for motivation for career, family, personal aspirations?

 

You take one small goal and make it a reality. Something attainable. Reach for it.

 

Also, try to remember something you wanted to do as a child, but couldn't. For me, I recently started riding horses. Why? Bad break up, bad marriage infidelity, hurt, confusion and utter loss of self.

 

Back to basics I went. Love of horses. Good place to start.

 

Little by little, I'm healing. I'm rediscovering me. I'm going to be okay. So will you...but work for it.

 

Keep your eye on it. Use visualization techniques. Meditate.

Edited February 12, 2015 by Rainbowlove

[sharkbite0]

To the OP, I think its helpful to write your age. just to help us get an idea of how far you are along life's journey.

 

You say you're stuck, well...the only way you can get stuck is if you created the wall yourself, you have found all the things that don't make you happy, you have to keep trying new things! as cliche as it sounds and cliche as it may be, I was in a terrible rut and until I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaally focused on what I consider success and happiness, nothing changed. I know take good care of my body, I stay away from harmful products like drugs, alcohol, and fast food. I take some deep breathes when I get anxious, I don't procrastinate over things that I know must get done. As for new hobbies and happiness it slowly builds, it's not going to come over night. I recently picked up cooking, I get the basic guidelines from online recipe sites and add my own twist to them, then I share it with others (so i don't get fat). I go to the gym, I get outside, I do what I think in my head makes a strong, successful person, and slowly I believe I am starting to become that person.

 

Work hard, for yourself! you deserve it!

 

write down a list of what you believe are successful traits of a great person.

for example mine would be

 

level headed, physically fit, strong self control, helpful to others, hard working in every area of their life ( which means not making excuses, which is what I was used to doing), I picture the person owning a nice house, beautiful girl with him, clean, kept together, funny, the guy that everyone loves because he is his own hard working self.

 

thinking about that person makes me happy, so I work everyday and make choices that gear me towards becoming that guy, right now he remains fictional....soon he will be real, and I will be him.