katinlc Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 There's a way to misdirect so the surprise is greater and then there is being a d*ck. Unfortunately, you chose the latter. I don't think it's horrible to play down gifts / Valentine's Day etc... so the surprise is good, but to pick a fight? I would next you in a heartbeat. 3
Author hidingsecret Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 (edited) It doesn't matter what you think about it--what matters is what SHE thinks about it because she is totally in the dark, you're being mean and cruel to her and you think that just because you've got something big planned at the end of the week, that the turmoil she's going through between now and then is just the collateral damage she'll have to walk off once Saturday hits. It's NOT romantic to be crushed like that. PERIOD. You need to stop deluding yourself. Yeah, Saturday may go off fine---but when she's got down time to think, when she talks to her mom or her friends, she's going to arrive at the conclusion that it really takes a certain level of contempt to think it's ok to pull this off. You've created a swarm of disgust against you from people that love her--heck there are people here who don't know her who are disgusted with how you proceeded--they are not going to like what you have done to her and they will have audiences with her to make sure she knows that. You've basically have put a massive nail in the coffin of your relationship by acting this ignorant and puffed up with self pride. No sane person wants to go on a roller coaster of emotions in a relationship unless they already have a psychological predisposition for that. It's stressful, immature and unnecessary. Of course you don't. You aren't the one on the receiving end of all of this stupidity. That's not necessarily true. My guy mentioned that Valentines is this weekend. I have no idea what is planned, but whatever it is, it's going to be a surprise and it's going to be welcomed by me because it indicates that even if it's a home made card, he is thinking of me and he cares for me and that will be lovely, as I'm not a materialistic kind of person. I don't require that he go into debt for one day. Keep telling yourself that as your relationship crumbles from her realizing that you manipulated her, made her feel bad, led her to believe a lie just to make you look good and to engineer an outcome. I wouldn't be surprised if she took what you gave and breaks up with you afterwards. Because truth be told: if you didn't think you went too far in this, this thread wouldn't even be here. You wouldn't be seeking anyone's input on it. So on some level, you know what you did was $#itty. nope, i was just curious, thats all. my curiosity is satiated now though. everything was fine with us 1 hour afterwards, we are completely warm with each other. i did not go picking a big fight, it just came up because i said i was NOT getting a valentines gift no matter what (misdirection) and that was what she got sad at (how firm i was with it), so i played along. and no, i discussed this with her friends and they thought it was romantic (the exact scenario). also, i never said anything about having to do something BIG for valentines - getting a card is doing something for valentines.. so don't take my quote out of context. also, its funny how every girl thinks they're 'not like other girls'. everyone is materialistic to a degree, and people who say they aren't probably are. every girl wants to be 'innocent'. the fact that you brought it up when noone even talked about it or mentioned it at all is proof you are not as you try to make yourself out to be. those of you spelling imminent doom on my relationship really need to question your own. i wish you good luck with your oh so perfect relationships. Edited February 12, 2015 by hidingsecret
Author hidingsecret Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 That's the thing you are missing.. your intentions were NOT good!! Your intentions were to be manipulative and be mean to her, causing her stress and ill will toward you.. That my friend is NOT good intentions... Apologize now as in TODAY and tell her you were being an ass to throw the scent off your trail for the VD gift.. If you don't set this straight now then you are just being unnecessarily mean and manipulative. no they were not. my intentions were 100% to make her the happiest girl alive. i do not care if i look good or not, for the 100th time. nor do i get happy when she is sad.
amaysngrace Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 no they were not. my intentions were 100% to make her the happiest girl alive. i do not care if i look good or not, for the 100th time. nor do i get happy when she is sad. Yea yea...did you apologize yet? Tell her to wear something nice on Saturday or anything yet? You know it was a bad move or you never would have posted about it when you second-guessed yourself. Either that or you just like to brag about how badly you treat your GF...which is it? Tell her to wear something nice Saturday please. If you guys go somewhere and she's underdressed she's going to be twice as mad at you. You want to get laid, don't you? 1
Author hidingsecret Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 (edited) Yea yea...did you apologize yet? Tell her to wear something nice on Saturday or anything yet? You know it was a bad move or you never would have posted about it when you second-guessed yourself. Either that or you just like to brag about how badly you treat your GF...which is it? Tell her to wear something nice Saturday please. If you guys go somewhere and she's underdressed she's going to be twice as mad at you. You want to get laid, don't you? yes, she is going to wear a dress on friday as I said I would take her on a picnic as a last minute plan the day before valentines but would not put much effort in (and i would dress up too). im going to deliver a rose personally to her work (she will never expect this) and then take her to a restaurant which I booked 3 months in advance and is known for their desserts (she likes dessert) instead of the picnic as a surprise which will prove that I 'did' put in effort. i have a difficult 3 note scavenger hunt planned (she is almost adamant i wont do a scavenger hunt as I have commentd about how cringeworthy they are) which will lead to the boot of her car. i could have only got to the boot of her car before the 'fight' about me never buying her a valentines present ever and no, we both don't care what each other is wearing and wear rags on the regular because we like each other and dont care about small things like that (in our opinion). we wear casual, shirts with holes, still adore each other. still, i told her id dress up as well to go on our picnic just for fun. and that i had no plans on valentines for her (this will be our actual picnic and i have the food and location planned). and no, i dont want to get laid. i can get laid anytime the other 364 days of the year, because we both enjoy it and thats the healthy way it should be in a relationship. any girl that holds sex captive or any couple where the girl has to 'lay' the guy after the guy impresses her is not healthy in my opinion and the guy is probably a huge pushover. it is not to get laid (which seems kind of pathetic that people put this as a goal with their own girlfriend), but to make her happy. i am merely curious because i enjoy browsing this website and reading posts for enjoyment. you can have the opinion that i shouldnt have done so, but please stop projecting your own problems onto me and pretending to be master psychologists. our relationship is fine and happy and she always comments about how i treat her well (but don't take her sh*t), because i do treat her well. she is not even 1% mad at me and never was. just sad/disappointed (but of course, this is inevitable if you're aiming for misdirection). notice in the OP i said she was sad, not mad. and pay attention tot he part where the reason she is sad is because i said i would never get her anything for valentines. by purposely mean, i mean i wasnt listening to her opinion and just stating firmly that i would not get her a gift no matter what (in a cold and harsh tone), all for the purpose of misdirection and surprise. also, thank you for the posts. it has provided good entertainment. Edited February 12, 2015 by hidingsecret
Els Posted February 13, 2015 Posted February 13, 2015 (u cannot get a booking at this restaurant only several months in advance --- we wear casual, shirts with holes, still adore each other. still, i told her id dress up as well to go on our picnic just for fun. and that i had no plans on valentines for her (this will be our actual picnic and i have the food and location planned). I'm starting to think this is all make-believe. If you are genuinely going to a restaurant that requires a booking very early in advance, you would know that most of them would expect you to at least not wear t-shirts with holes in them. Also I don't get what the point of telling her to dress up for a picnic the day before is, in relation to this - are you expecting that she won't change out of it until Saturday night? If it's not make-believe, it's still ridiculously immature and unattractive. What you're doing is even worse than nothing at all. Healthy people don't purposefully pick fights with their partners and 'treat them mean' for ANY reason. 3
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