hidingsecret Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 got into an argument with her on purpose (about how i was not going to get her anything for valentines and that it was a BS holiday and that she is being unreasonable, then i was purposely mean to her, she got sad and left my house at 1am. the gift is in the boot of her car already, and i already have a popular restaurant booked she is convinced that i will not be getting her a gift. i am planning to reveal the surprise planning and then explain that i was acting in the fight in order to make her sad on purpose and not suspect that i would get her something, in turn creating a bigger high on valentines. was this a dick move or romantic? what would u think if a guy did this to you?
CarrieT Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Total Dick Move. No way will that be a bigger high - instead, I would be figuring out when/how to break up with you. 7
LoveRefreshed Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 I would think you'd be a total moron. A surprise is cool, but purposefully making someone sad? Are you effing real? 2
amaysngrace Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Send her flowers immediately to apologize. That would be romantic. 1
Mrin Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Bad idea. From her perspective - You manipulated her emotions and caused her all sorts of grief only so you could look good on Valentine's day. What a selfish uncaring jacka$$ you are. It would be one thing if you were indifferent but picking fights?? No Bueno! 4
kendahke Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 got into an argument with her on purpose (about how i was not going to get her anything for valentines and that it was a BS holiday and that she is being unreasonable, then i was purposely mean to her, she got sad and left my house at 1am. the gift is in the boot of her car already, and i already have a popular restaurant booked she is convinced that i will not be getting her a gift. i am planning to reveal the surprise planning and then explain that i was acting in the fight in order to make her sad on purpose and not suspect that i would get her something, in turn creating a bigger high on valentines. was this a dick move or romantic? what would u think if a guy did this to you? that was a whale dicque of a move. I would think he was a manipulative a$$. You'd have gotten a lot further if you had just said "Valentine's will be nice... just trust me" and leave it at that. Now, she sees you as doing something mean to her to manipulate her into making a memorable sex event for you.
kendahke Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 (edited) Send her flowers immediately to apologize. That would be romantic. if she has any sense, she'd throw those flowers away. What this looks like, IMO, is that he made a big show of not doing anything for the day, then because she became sad about it, he's doing damage control and back pedaling (see, I spelled it right!!!)... it may go over with the same enthusiasm as someone throwing up on your shoe. Edited February 9, 2015 by kendahke 1
TigerCub Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Stupid thing to do. I get that you wanted to surprise her - but f**k! The end result is that you'll be showing her that you not only are ok with your gf being sad - you'll actively do something to make it happen!
Author hidingsecret Posted February 9, 2015 Author Posted February 9, 2015 Total Dick Move. No way will that be a bigger high - instead, I would be figuring out when/how to break up with you. I would think you'd be a total moron. A surprise is cool, but purposefully making someone sad? Are you effing real? ahh.. damn lol thought it would be a romantic move if she has any sense, she'd throw those flowers away. What this looks like, IMO, is that he made a big show of not doing anything for the day, then because she became sad about it, he's doing damage control and back pedaling (see, I spelled it right!!!)... it may go over with the same enthusiasm as someone throwing up on your shoe. yeh thats true. but, the booking to the restaurant can only be made in advance (its one of those fine dining that are booked out) and also, the gift is in her car boot so the only way i could have got it there is if i put it already. im starting to regret but we'll see how this goes down i guess =/ im not a very smart person and thought it'd be cute.
Mrin Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 This post as a SNL skit: https://screen.yahoo.com/bad-idea-jeans-000000942.html 1
Yookie Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Mean spirited pranks are never a good idea. The emotions you cause are real and even after you reveal your true intentions those negative feelings will not be forgotten. 5
MidwestUSA Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 It's amusing that you came here and asked for ideas first. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/513553-valentines-day-ideas-will-make-girl-melt You wanted cringeworthy; I think you've succeeded. You admit to treating her like ***** 364 days a year, ignoring her birthday? I hope she dumps you. She will if she's smart. 6
kendahke Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 ahh.. damn lol thought it would be a romantic move lemme guess==you saw that in a movie? Never imitate a movie in real life. They are following a script. Everything is written out in advance. No one is taken by surprise in the movie because there is a plot, a story. All thought of variables (and unthought of variables) are taken into consideration before the camera starts rolling. Real life isn't a movie. The variables cannot be controlled in real life. Making someone sad on purpose is mean and cruel and that isn't easily forgotten by a meal at a nice restaurant. As I said, all you needed to say was "don't worry, boo... I got you on Valentine's Day. Just be ready and wear a gorgeous outfit". She'd have been sparkling with delight and happiness in anticipation.
CarrieT Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 im starting to regret but we'll see how it goes No. Fix it NOW. Do not wait until the 14th. Tell her what you were doing and you realized how wrong it was and then apologize - a LOT. If you don't fix it immediately, you might not have a girlfriend on Valentine's Day. 3
Zahara Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 money is not a big issue, nor is treating her too nice (as i didnt get anything for her birthday and regularly treat her mean, LOL). this is my one day to really spoil her. Apparently, OP is generally a dick to her. Not surprised that even when you choose to do a nice thing for her, your ugly self rears its head. 2
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 You already ruined this. Seriously if I found out you were mean to me like that on purpose, I'd drop you in a heart beat. 1
Zahara Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 It's amusing that you came here and asked for ideas first. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/513553-valentines-day-ideas-will-make-girl-melt You wanted cringeworthy; I think you've succeeded. You admit to treating her like ***** 364 days a year, ignoring her birthday? I hope she dumps you. She will if she's smart. I read that thread too. The audacity to actually admit that he's an ahole to her most of the time. I hope she kicks him to the curb. 3
losangelena Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Utterly retarded. Why is this girl still with you?
Author hidingsecret Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 (edited) It's amusing that you came here and asked for ideas first. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/513553-valentines-day-ideas-will-make-girl-melt You wanted cringeworthy; I think you've succeeded. You admit to treating her like ***** 364 days a year, ignoring her birthday? I hope she dumps you. She will if she's smart. not really, it was just a joke (that im mean to her all the other days - there is a 'LOL' after). i do treat her really well, and that doesn't change whether i got her a birthday gift or not. lemme guess==you saw that in a movie? Never imitate a movie in real life. They are following a script. Everything is written out in advance. No one is taken by surprise in the movie because there is a plot, a story. All thought of variables (and unthought of variables) are taken into consideration before the camera starts rolling. Real life isn't a movie. The variables cannot be controlled in real life. Making someone sad on purpose is mean and cruel and that isn't easily forgotten by a meal at a nice restaurant. As I said, all you needed to say was "don't worry, boo... I got you on Valentine's Day. Just be ready and wear a gorgeous outfit". She'd have been sparkling with delight and happiness in anticipation. nope, not based off a movie. just thought of something that would surprise her and make her first valentines memorable. ill also be personally delivering a rose to her work which she will never suspect given we live 1hour+ from each other and that is true, but i guess i wanted to be different from the other guys. yes, i did make her sad. but i think what i planned for her had the potential to be romantic and surprising. either way, i will find out come valentines day. No. Fix it NOW. Do not wait until the 14th. Tell her what you were doing and you realized how wrong it was and then apologize - a LOT. If you don't fix it immediately, you might not have a girlfriend on Valentine's Day. i think this is a lose lose situation for both of us if i were to do that (Although we are now on very good terms anyway). she doesnt get her surprise, and respects me less. i think doing this is a bit of a pushover thing given that my intentions are good. i dont care about 'looking good' on valentines. i care about making her the happiest girl ever on that day. its a bit unconventional i understand but i think in a very close knit type of relationship this will go down well (though i do see how many of you would dump a guy u are not that into). it is really dependent on the bond you have and i know her well enough that she would laugh and 'OMG' and just play hit me because of this. though i was interested in a general opinion from others. Apparently, OP is generally a dick to her. Not surprised that even when you choose to do a nice thing for her, your ugly self rears its head. i dont think im a dick to her, im just mean when i need to be. if i disagree with her, ill disagree. if i dont like what shes doing, ill tell her instantly. when i said i was mean to her all the other time with a 'LOL', it was a joke. basically saying that i have leeway to go all out on this holiday as i havent overburdened her for the other events and don't regularly 'whiteknight' her. that is why i was asking for cringeworthy things to do. i will let you guys know how it goes. if u guys have any more ideas on what to do on the day, it'd be appreciated she is a big fan of desserts n likes lemon meringue, sticky date, vienetta. Edited February 10, 2015 by hidingsecret
Els Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Why would you even that 'treating her mean' would be romantic? How old are you? Surprises are fine, but usually they happen without the other person saying anything. They also don't cancel out meanness...
Omei Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 (edited) In relationships when you're not very nice to your partner often recent acts of kindness come undone in a way and you need to start over or acts of kindness too soon after a fight will be viewed as a suck up and not generosity and will be less appreciated. I think you should tell her everything now and how you thought the fight would have a different outcome and own to it being a really stupid idea and that you actually do have something planned, yes it ruins the surprise but at least you'll have a happy gf and not one considering dumping you as your valentines day gift lol. Edited February 10, 2015 by Omei
Author hidingsecret Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 (edited) Why would you even that 'treating her mean' would be romantic? How old are you? Surprises are fine, but usually they happen without the other person saying anything. They also don't cancel out meanness... in context of how i was treating her mean ('i am NOT going to get you a valentine gift and i dont care what u think about that'), i think it is pretty romantic that big things were already planned. and i think sometimes the surprise is bigger when someone is almost sure that you won't do something. if its expected or even a 'probably', its still a surprise, but not as big of one. i simply wanted her to have a bigger high on valentines. not to make me look better, not for sex (any normal relationship you get that anytime u want the other 364 days of the year), but for her to go on a rollercoaster of emotions i dont think i was overly mean and it wasnt a huge huge fight, and i think in this case it would cancel out the meanness - given the topic of the argument and the fact that everything was already there. with most girls i think, they expect their guy to do something for them on valentines, including me, so its not as big of a surprise In relationships when you're not very nice to your partner often recent acts of kindness come undone in a way and you need to start over or acts of kindness too soon after a fight will be viewed as a suck up and not generosity and will be less appreciated. I think you should tell her everything now and how you thought the fight would have a different outcome and own to it being a really stupid idea and that you actually do have something planned, yes it ruins the surprise but at least you'll have a happy gf and not one considering dumping you as your valentines day gift lol. i think its ok now and we are extremely warm to each other - the fight went exactly as planned. and the topic of the fight was that i was NOT going to get her a valentines present no matter what (she had expressed that she wanted her first valentine to be special), in order to break her expectations and then surprise her, it wasn't mean for the sake of being mean. that is true but the nature of the fight guarantees that this was a plan (u cannot get a booking at this restaurant only several months in advance, and there is no way i could have gotten to her car). i can see it from your guys perspective but so far it seems very favorable. i think it just might work out. of course, depends on the relationship you have with your gf. Edited February 10, 2015 by hidingsecret
Emilia Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 i can see it from your guys perspective but so far it seems very favorable. i think it just might work out. of course, depends on the relationship you have with your gf. No, it depends on whether you are hooked on drama. I see men creating tension to get a woman's attention all the time and it's always the emotionally unstable guys. You want to be careful with that, you don't want to be the 'crazy guy' 1
Art_Critic Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 i think doing this is a bit of a pushover thing given that my intentions are good. That's the thing you are missing.. your intentions were NOT good!! Your intentions were to be manipulative and be mean to her, causing her stress and ill will toward you.. That my friend is NOT good intentions... Apologize now as in TODAY and tell her you were being an ass to throw the scent off your trail for the VD gift.. If you don't set this straight now then you are just being unnecessarily mean and manipulative. 4
kendahke Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 (edited) in context of how i was treating her mean ('i am NOT going to get you a valentine gift and i dont care what u think about that'), i think it is pretty romantic that big things were already planned. It doesn't matter what you think about it--what matters is what SHE thinks about it because she is totally in the dark, you're being mean and cruel to her and you think that just because you've got something big planned at the end of the week, that the turmoil she's going through between now and then is just the collateral damage she'll have to walk off once Saturday hits. It's NOT romantic to be crushed like that. PERIOD. You need to stop deluding yourself. Yeah, Saturday may go off fine---but when she's got down time to think, when she talks to her mom or her friends, she's going to arrive at the conclusion that it really takes a certain level of contempt to think it's ok to pull this off. You've created a swarm of disgust against you from people that love her--heck there are people here who don't know her who are disgusted with how you proceeded--they are not going to like what you have done to her and they will have audiences with her to make sure she knows that. You've basically have put a massive nail in the coffin of your relationship by acting this ignorant and puffed up with self pride. and i think sometimes the surprise is bigger when someone is almost sure that you won't do something. if its expected or even a 'probably', its still a surprise, but not as big of one. i simply wanted her to have a bigger high on valentines. not to make me look better, not for sex (any normal relationship you get that anytime u want the other 364 days of the year), but for her to go on a rollercoaster of emotions No sane person wants to go on a roller coaster of emotions in a relationship unless they already have a psychological predisposition for that. It's stressful, immature and unnecessary. i dont think i was overly mean and it wasnt a huge huge fight, and i think in this case it would cancel out the meanness - given the topic of the argument and the fact that everything was already there. Of course you don't. You aren't the one on the receiving end of all of this stupidity. with most girls i think, they expect their guy to do something for them on valentines, including me, so its not as big of a surprise That's not necessarily true. My guy mentioned that Valentines is this weekend. I have no idea what is planned, but whatever it is, it's going to be a surprise and it's going to be welcomed by me because it indicates that even if it's a home made card, he is thinking of me and he cares for me and that will be lovely, as I'm not a materialistic kind of person. I don't require that he go into debt for one day. i think its ok now and we are extremely warm to each other - the fight went exactly as planned. and the topic of the fight was that i was NOT going to get her a valentines present no matter what (she had expressed that she wanted her first valentine to be special), in order to break her expectations and then surprise her, it wasn't mean for the sake of being mean. that is true but the nature of the fight guarantees that this was a plan (u cannot get a booking at this restaurant only several months in advance, and there is no way i could have gotten to her car). i can see it from your guys perspective but so far it seems very favorable. i think it just might work out. of course, depends on the relationship you have with your gf. Keep telling yourself that as your relationship crumbles from her realizing that you manipulated her, made her feel bad, led her to believe a lie just to make you look good and to engineer an outcome. I wouldn't be surprised if she took what you gave and breaks up with you afterwards. Because truth be told: if you didn't think you went too far in this, this thread wouldn't even be here. You wouldn't be seeking anyone's input on it. So on some level, you know what you did was $#itty. Edited February 10, 2015 by kendahke 2
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