Just when I thought I was over him.

[An0nymiss666]

We had a somewhat-mutual breakup but I still had an extremely hard time going no contact and coming to terms with it. He blocked everything, like social media, but didn't block my number. I wrote him a letter, a couple of e-mails and texted him a few times.

 

He never really answered me but we had a few interactions. Some nasty. Then he'd try to crack a joke (stupid BS breadcrumbs) then we wouldn't speak again. Then he'd be nasty...and so on.

 

He talked some crap to one of our mutual friends, but we're close, and I think he did it because he knew she would tell me. Stating he was flawless and I should be begging for him back. No thanks. I think he was just looking for validation that he is, in fact, a God, that can do no wrong.

 

I found out that he started immediately going out on dates/trying to screw around with other people right after we broke up, which leads me to think he was doing it before we split. So nasty. Definitely not the person I thought I was with.

 

The kicker was that we were talking a bit this weekend and he said if I got a big fake boob job and mental help, then he'd "put a f***ing ring on it." He got mad when I called him out on being a total a-hole, I basically laughed to myself at this point. I said "How stupid are you trying to make me feel?" His response was that this was enough and he was finally blocking me once and for all. Good. What a loser.

 

Apparently this is who he really is on the inside. I don't know why I thought he was different, I thought he was the guy I'd marry. We had a good relationship. But after all of this crap it's difficult to have good feelings for him.

 

I'm still having a very difficult time, though. I don't know that I'll ever get over it.

 

I did go on a nice date this past weekend and I did have fun and he was nice. But I couldn't stop thinking of him (my ex). I know the first guy I see isn't necessarily Mr. Right but I thought it would at least keep my mind occupied...it didn't.

[Elle1975]

What a loser.

Mmhh ya..

 

 

Also, to his boob job joke, you could have answered "only if you finally get a decent penis size".

[darkbloom]

I think it takes a few dates for you to stop thinking about your ex the whole time. It's been two months and I'm finally having whole blocks of time where I don't think about him. I went to a meet up last night full of singles and had a great time. I only thought about my ex once and it was that he would never agree to take me to place like this. It was a sad feeling but it went away when I focused back on the people I was with.

 

 

I think if he is just starting to be an ******* now if he wasn't one in the relationship is because he is hurt. Even if he is the one that decided on the breakup. The boob job comment was probably his only way of getting a dig in at you to make you question your self esteem. The hurtful things he says tells you more about him than it does about you.

 

 

I am still going through a hard time with my breakup and thinking about him. It's nice to hear from people that know me that I look better and I seem much happier and light. I think it will just take some serious time apart to really get over thinking about him.

[An0nymiss666]

Thanks for the replies. I know I'm not alone, but it's always so tough when it's in your own head. I've never experienced anything like this with any of my exes. But those were drawn out relationships I should've ended long before I actually did. This was different.

 

I know he's insecure even though I loved every part of him. Nothing will ever be enough for him. I think he has numerous issues he has to work that out for himself. It's not going to become MY problem. No wonder he's never had a successful relationship. He kept me strung along until I said something that wasn't totally kissing his ass then he blocked me completely.

 

Despite all of this, we just fit so well together from day one, and he was good to me until the end. I still have doubts I can ever be happy with someone else, but he's doing a great job at destroying the feelings I had for him.

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

We had a somewhat-mutual breakup but I still had an extremely hard time going no contact and coming to terms with it. He blocked everything, like social media, but didn't block my number. I wrote him a letter, a couple of e-mails and texted him a few times.

 

He never really answered me but we had a few interactions. Some nasty. Then he'd try to crack a joke (stupid BS breadcrumbs) then we wouldn't speak again. Then he'd be nasty...and so on.

 

He talked some crap to one of our mutual friends, but we're close, and I think he did it because he knew she would tell me. Stating he was flawless and I should be begging for him back. No thanks. I think he was just looking for validation that he is, in fact, a God, that can do no wrong.

 

I found out that he started immediately going out on dates/trying to screw around with other people right after we broke up, which leads me to think he was doing it before we split. So nasty. Definitely not the person I thought I was with.

 

The kicker was that we were talking a bit this weekend and he said if I got a big fake boob job and mental help, then he'd "put a f***ing ring on it." He got mad when I called him out on being a total a-hole, I basically laughed to myself at this point. I said "How stupid are you trying to make me feel?" His response was that this was enough and he was finally blocking me once and for all. Good. What a loser.

 

Apparently this is who he really is on the inside. I don't know why I thought he was different, I thought he was the guy I'd marry. We had a good relationship. But after all of this crap it's difficult to have good feelings for him.

 

I'm still having a very difficult time, though. I don't know that I'll ever get over it.

 

I did go on a nice date this past weekend and I did have fun and he was nice. But I couldn't stop thinking of him (my ex). I know the first guy I see isn't necessarily Mr. Right but I thought it would at least keep my mind occupied...it didn't.

 

Your ex sounds like the classic Narcissist: Narcissistic personality disorder Definition - Diseases and Conditions - Mayo Clinic

 

Um, you WILL get over 'it' (your prior relationship with your ex)! First, you have to absolutely go NC (No Contact) with him and NEVER, EVER let him contact you in ANY way, shape or form! Change your cell/landline phone number (yeah, it's a pain in the ass, but worth it in the end) and ALLOW yourself to HEAL for the next several months.

 

Do NOT go on ANY dates, no matter how platonic you "think" they are; do NOT hold in your emotions - cry if you need to/want to, meditate/reflect on your FUTURE, go out and DO things with FAMILY, FRIENDS and LOVED ONES that you ENJOY; concentrate on your JOB/CAREER and while you're there, put your ALL into it. When you're home, PAMPER yourself - not to the extreme (of course!), but DO things FOR yourself that bring you PEACE and spiritual/emotional PLEASURE.

 

ALLOW yourself to FEEL the pain, regret, sorrow, anger and resentment that comes from having to deal with an abusive ex and having to deal with a break up. You WILL get over it and move on with your life! You've even went on a date with a cool guy who was nice. Even if this guy ends up NOT being "the one", so what?! Just have FUN with this process of dating, pampering yourself and spending time doing things that bring you joy, satisfaction and happiness, okay?

[An0nymiss666]

Thank you, reading that did clarify it a bit. Although for a very long time the behavior was never directed at me, I watched it happen with him and other people, and slowly I began to feel as if he thought he was the Master of the Universe.

 

I hope I can. We have no way of getting in contact now and I'm not going to try. We do have some mutual friends but they have been kind and supportive to me.

 

I'm trying day by day to just enjoy being alive, if anything. I do feel as if a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, but still so sad, alone, and depressed (sometimes).