HarryG Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I've started "seeing" this girl that is 18 soon to be 19. I am 38 soon to be 39. We've know of each other for a few years, but haven't talked until recently at a party. She was showing a great deal of interest which was nice, so we exchanged numbers and have been talking ever since. Friends of mine, women included, tell me to just have some fun but don't get attached. I'm just out of a long term relationship of almost 3 years, so they are telling me to go for it. The girl is very sweet, but does have some immaturity issues, however I feel that's to be expected. It's only been a few weeks now. We've seen each other a few times, talk constantly, and have had sex once. I have some confusion because the girl, although younger, shares A LOT of my same views on things like politics and religion. A 20 year age gap is a big gap. Is it too big? Color me confused.
cessna Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 You're both adults so if it makes you happy go for it. My last girlfriend was almost eight years younger than me. We didn't break any law or hurt anyone by being together and we were both happy so I wouldn't listen to what anyone else thinks. 1
Gaeta Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I've started "seeing" this girl that is 18 soon to be 19. I am 38 soon to be 39. We've know of each other for a few years, but haven't talked until recently at a party. She was showing a great deal of interest which was nice, so we exchanged numbers and have been talking ever since. Friends of mine, women included, tell me to just have some fun but don't get attached. I'm just out of a long term relationship of almost 3 years, so they are telling me to go for it. The girl is very sweet, but does have some immaturity issues, however I feel that's to be expected. It's only been a few weeks now. We've seen each other a few times, talk constantly, and have had sex once. I have some confusion because the girl, although younger, shares A LOT of my same views on things like politics and religion. A 20 year age gap is a big gap. Is it too big? Color me confused. It's normal for a young woman that age to be infatuated with an older man. It's not so normal for a man your age being infatuated with a young girl not even out of her teen age years. I don't care about the 20 year difference, if she were 30 and you 50 I would say go and have fun! But she is young, inexperienced, new at life and love, she has everything to discover while you just want a temporary fix. You will be responsible for her next heartbreak because you just got out of a 3 year relationship and you need a band-aid on your booboo. At 39 don't you know better? Don't you have other things to do than go after teen girls that could be your daughters? 1
Author HarryG Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 At 39 don't you know better? Don't you have other things to do than go after teen girls that could be your daughters? Thanks for putting that so maturely. I'll stoop to your level just this once. Guess I'll keep hitting that.
Gaeta Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Thanks for putting that so maturely. I'll stoop to your level just this once. Guess I'll keep hitting that. People with no children that age will see this as 2 adults. I see this on a different angle. When I got 39, my daughter was 19. What do you think was my opinion of 40 yo men hitting on her? These men hit on her because they were too immature to deal with women their own age. A 19 yo is an easy pray. You give her a few compliments, pay the bills a couple of times, and she thinks she's in love. You know a woman your age will see right through you and your game! This young girl is more than a piece of @!!, she is someone's daughter's, someone's sisters, someone grand-daughter's. What do you think they would think of you a 39 year old man getting his fun with her? 1
smackie9 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I agree with with your friends, don't get attached, this girl will be moving onto someone else soon enough. To add this girl isn't the one with a few immaturity issues.
fallen12 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I don't see a probably with the age difference but she is young so she might not know what she wants yet. Just take it slow.
Derek1979 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Thanks for putting that so maturely. I'll stoop to your level just this once. Guess I'll keep hitting that. She's right. What you are doing is just disgusting.
Derek1979 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I don't see a probably with the age difference but she is young so she might not know what she wants yet. Just take it slow. You are quite the one to talk about morals, given your own morals, or lack thereof.
spiderowl Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Yes, it's too great. She's hardly out of school. You will have different experiences behind you and you will both be needing different things. Unless you are very immature, you are unlikely to feel that much in common with someone so much younger. You mention she has immaturity issues. She is young! They are not issues, they are the stage she is at in life. I would have thought that was obvious. I don't think you can tell anyone not to get attached. You either feel attached or you don't: I don't think it's a choice. However, personally I would not trust a guy that much younger than me because I know that sooner or later he'll meet someone nearer his own age who seems more right for him. This kind of an age gap seems too much for me. Yes, she's technically an adult and some will say go for it, but she is also just learning about men and life. Do you not find women nearer your own age that you are attracted to and interested in? Why does it have to be this girl? 1
mexcity Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 The young lady is attracted to OP. It's not like the OP is hanging around campus seeking 18 year olds. Enjoy the relationship for what it is. Respect the lady and take care of her. You are mature and more experienced, so don't get attached because most likely she will break up with you first. 1
smackie9 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 The young lady is attracted to OP. It's not like the OP is hanging around campus seeking 18 year olds. Enjoy the relationship for what it is. Respect the lady and take care of her. You are mature and more experienced, so don't get attached because most likely she will break up with you first. He's known her for two years, and has been waiting until she was of age.
d0nnivain Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 It's no so much the 20 years as the life stage differences. If she was 30 & you were 50 I wouldn't blink an eye. Here you are a middle aged man who wants to date a teenager barely out of high school who isn't even old enough to drink in the US. What are you going to do, take her to her universities' spring dance? While she may attracted to older more mature men, you have some obligation to act like the wiser adult you are supposed to be & squelch this before it has a chance to take hold. At 18 I had a crush on a guy much older then me (not quite your age). He told he me was flattered, kissed me, then said that he couldn't take advantage of me. He literally sent me off to college & told me that if I still felt the same way about him when I graduated to call him & he'd put a ring on my finger before that summer was over. Of course I was over him in a few months because it was just a fantasy on my part. He didn't propose to the women who eventually became his wife until a few months after my college graduation. I do not know for sure that he "waited for me" but it's an ego boost to think he did. Looking back I will always view what he did as one of the most chivalrous romantic gestures. 2
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