Hopeful30 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I attract a normal amount of guys, but the issue is that the ones that actually do something about it are married or taken. Why dont single guys hit on me? Ive made it clear (after learning they are taken) that im not interested, so its not like I allow their advances or encourage them in any way. Yet man after man who actually makes a move always ends up being unavailable. Wtf! Im not ditzy or dumb, and i dont dress provocatively. Hell i dont even go clubbing or to parties. I meet these men all over: work, grocery store, walking down the street. What makes a woman be hit on by unavailable men and yet not the available ones? Im starting to take it personally and wonder if theres something wrong with me. Im worthy of a good man yet they never approach (even if its obvious they like me.) Whats up?
smackie9 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Yes but are you overly attractive? For whatever reason when you are attractive people assume you are easy. As for the single guys, they probably are intimidated by your looks and feel they don't have a chance. First step, you be the pursuer. Second, if a guy is too shy to approach you, make eye contact and smile.
stillafool Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Yes but are you overly attractive? For whatever reason when you are attractive people assume you are easy. As for the single guys, they probably are intimidated by your looks and feel they don't have a chance. First step, you be the pursuer. Second, if a guy is too shy to approach you, make eye contact and smile. If she were overly attractive single men would be all over her to. OP, I don't understand why no single men approach you either. Most MM looking for affairs are desperate anyway.
Author Hopeful30 Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 I dont think looks really have any to do with it. Regardless of how pretty i am, im still only hit on by unavailable men. And i never approach men because apparently it comes off as either desperate or aggressive, of which i am neither.
Derek1979 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I attract a normal amount of guys, but the issue is that the ones that actually do something about it are married or taken. Why dont single guys hit on me? Ive made it clear (after learning they are taken) that im not interested, so its not like I allow their advances or encourage them in any way. Yet man after man who actually makes a move always ends up being unavailable. Wtf! Im not ditzy or dumb, and i dont dress provocatively. Hell i dont even go clubbing or to parties. I meet these men all over: work, grocery store, walking down the street. What makes a woman be hit on by unavailable men and yet not the available ones? Im starting to take it personally and wonder if theres something wrong with me. Im worthy of a good man yet they never approach (even if its obvious they like me.) Whats up? Every single woman I have ever hit on has not been interested. As a man that other woman don't desire I don't count. I live in a nice suburban home, have a nice car and good stable job, but none of that matters to women. What matters is that I fail to create instant chemistry.
Derek1979 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 If she were overly attractive single men would be all over her to. OP, I don't understand why no single men approach you either. Most MM looking for affairs are desperate anyway. She may be attractive but women just want to be hit on by attractive males. I'm 6 foot 2 which is a desirable height but am barely average which isn't what women desire. After a rejection rate of one hundred percent, what's the use?
Author Hopeful30 Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 Every single woman I have ever hit on has not been interested. As a man that other woman don't desire I don't count. I live in a nice suburban home, have a nice car and good stable job, but none of that matters to women. What matters is that I fail to create instant chemistry. You cant create chemistry. Its either there or it isnt.
Derek1979 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 You cant create chemistry. Its either there or it isnt. I know that. In 36 years not a single woman has felt chemistry for me. I don't believe it's possible and as long as women require this I and s few other men will be forever alone. If I apprached you or any other woman I'd be soundly rejected.
TigerCub Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Hey Hopeful. I hear ya! I hate it. I get single guys when I'm online. But in real life, it's mostly married or taken guys that overly flirt or hit on me. It's annoying. And on top of that it makes me really really lose any faith in marriage - if that's what married guys are like. (I know those guys aren't a representation of all married men, but there are A LOT of them). Sorry I don't have an answer for you - just support. But I wonder sometimes - maybe single guys are afraid of rejection while married guys don't really have anything to lose if you reject them, and on top of that they can justify to themselves 'oh, she said no cuz I'm taken, and not because I'm ugly or I'm a jerk' and then they don't feel the sting of rejection as much, and still get to go home to someone that already said yes to them. I dunno.. 5
smackie9 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I dont think looks really have any to do with it. Regardless of how pretty i am, im still only hit on by unavailable men. And i never approach men because apparently it comes off as either desperate or aggressive, of which i am neither. I approached men in my dating days and they found it refreshing and in no way did they feel I was "desperate or needy". That is the attitude of women not men and that needs to be changed IMO. They saw me as confident and were turned on by it. It's in all how you approach....friendly and a smile is all you need. Instead of wondering why, why not just ask them for yourself. Then ask some close male friends what is it about you that doesn't make single men want to make contact with you. Only the people around you that know you can help you. Anyways everyone here is going to have a theory, but has it really helped? no, so go to the source and you shall find your answers. 1
Derek1979 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Hey Hopeful. I hear ya! I hate it. I get single guys when I'm online. But in real life, it's mostly married or taken guys that overly flirt or hit on me. It's annoying. And on top of that it makes me really really lose any faith in marriage - if that's what married guys are like. (I know those guys aren't a representation of all married men, but there are A LOT of them). Sorry I don't have an answer for you - just support. But I wonder sometimes - maybe single guys are afraid of rejection while married guys don't really have anything to lose if you reject them, and on top of that they can justify to themselves 'oh, she said no cuz I'm taken, and not because I'm ugly or I'm a jerk' and then they don't feel the sting of rejection as much, and still get to go home to someone that already said yes to them. I dunno.. There's plenty of single men but a lot of them can't create chemistry in minutes so they are out.
smackie9 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 BTW I don't know where you guys live or how old you are but I have never had this problem. Maybe it's time to move. 1
carhill Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I attract a normal amount of guys, but the issue is that the ones that actually do something about it are married or taken. Why dont single guys hit on me? Normal varies widely. One a day? One a week? One a month? etc. Also, is there a venue or milieu where such attractions are occurring that's normal as well? As far as why single guys don't approach you, unknown. There may not be any single guys (happens!). They don't find you attractive (happens!). They presume you're taken (happens!) etc, etc. Difficult to even speculate with any reasonable certainty. Why are the only men who are interested always married or taken? Risk versus reward. Their risk is low since they already have a committed partner and 'they may be married but they're not dead'. Their reward is potentially high, mainly as a validation of ego but also for some easy sex on the side if the person they approach is open to that. They can't read your mind but know from experience there are women who will have casual sex with them so it's a calculated risk but really a minimal one. If you say no they just move on to someone else, already having the wife and family in another box at home. It's what some men do and, if they do, it's usually for their life, transcending generations, hence where the term 'dirty old man' came from. Good luck! 2
smackie9 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Here I found this.....this might give you some insight. Why Do I Keep Attracting Married Men and Only Married Men?! - Inner Light: An Intuitive Guide to Life, Love and Relationships 1
Author Hopeful30 Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 She may be attractive but women just want to be hit on by attractive males. I'm 6 foot 2 which is a desirable height but am barely average which isn't what women desire. After a rejection rate of one hundred percent, what's the use? Please reread my post. This isnt about attractive men, its about available men.
Author Hopeful30 Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 I approached men in my dating days and they found it refreshing and in no way did they feel I was "desperate or needy". That is the attitude of women not men and that needs to be changed IMO. They saw me as confident and were turned on by it. It's in all how you approach....friendly and a smile is all you need. Instead of wondering why, why not just ask them for yourself. Then ask some close male friends what is it about you that doesn't make single men want to make contact with you. Only the people around you that know you can help you. Anyways everyone here is going to have a theory, but has it really helped? no, so go to the source and you shall find your answers. Ive done all your suggestions (hence why i resorted to online advice). My guy friends are just as baffled, but say something about me is intimidating yet they cant quite pinpoint what it is.
Derek1979 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Please reread my post. This isnt about attractive men, its about available men. I read it before. Women are insulted when a man hits on her if he isn't in her league of attractiveness.
alphamale Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I attract a normal amount of guys, but the issue is that the ones that actually do something about it are married or taken. Why dont single guys hit on me? men who are married or taken have nothing to lose. They are already getting sex and have a woman. Therefore, its easy to ask some young women out because they don't care for the outcome. Single guys come off too desperate and clingy and mostly lack confidence. They don't have a female at home to go to. 1
Woggle Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Married men have an easier time getting a woman than single men so it gives them a boost of confidence. I can say without hesitation that this wedding ring makes it easier to get a date.
TigerCub Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 There's plenty of single men but a lot of them can't create chemistry in minutes so they are out. What do you mean by 'They are out'? Do you mean they pu$$y out? that they don't have the confidence to ask a girl out?
RedRobin Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 .... reading some of these responses... makes me wonder why any woman would want to get married if the only purpose is to make it easier for the guys to get a hot meal at home and piece of *ss elsewhere. I've had mostly married guys hitting on me since I was barely legal... working around all men. That actually got worse after my fiancee died. Probably because there were just fewer single guys around. I've also met a lot of very solid, devoted husbands. It really is about 50/50. I have no doubt that at least 50% of all married men have cheated or are currently cheating... lots of those eventually get divorced. I've read somewhere that 90% of all divorces are initiated due to infidelity. I always know which ones it was... It is the guys looking for lots of 'chemistry', because they follow their d*cks and feelings of infatuation around like a dowsing wand and think that will keep them 'faithful'. Not intimacy or mutual respect. 1
T732979 Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 You know what is rather odd about your post is, take a step back and look at your situation in a different light: If you were looking for a used car and all you did was open up the classified section of a newspaper or, local want ads, you would be annoyed that there is only certain models and certain years of each car listed for sale......After acknowledging that you are not seeing what YOU want, you have 2 options from here: You can, #1 Keep buying the papers with hopes that eventually someone will list the model and year that you want or #2 You can be proactive in your search......Go to used car lots, search the countless web searches for used cars...This way, there is no time wasted and you get right to the chase of what you specifically want. Looking for a woman to specifically think about what SHE wants is another huge mystery.....They could be standing right in front of someone who has every single thing that they claim they want in a man AND, they still can reject him. I seriously get so annoyed at women complaining about how Mr. Right, for them, is not approaching them....If a woman likes to adhere to old school ways that, a woman should not approach a man. They had either be prepared for ever comes there way or, they must make it clear to that stranger, that you find them attractive with, a simple smile.....90% of guys would definitely approach a complete stranger if that stranger acknowledged them with a simple smile. Going up to someone who doesn't even know you are in the same room as them, is not a good situation for anyone. When a guy(stranger) approaches you to talk, you have a huge advantage knowing that this person digs you, why? Because he took the time to actually put his ego on the line to do it......Now by him approaching you, you know have the power to qualify him or disqualify him.....I am positive that if a woman was to get rejected, in public, her self confidence would be shot. I can guarantee you this, even Victoria secret models are very hesitant to approach a complete stranger guy.....Their ego's have been built up to this epic level that ANY knock at it, would be so destructive to their inner self....Sooooo, they don't put it on the line and assume that they don't need to. In conclusion: Either make it obvious that you are smiling at a complete stranger that you find interesting or, you are gonna have to take the initiative. There is no other way!
alphamale Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Married men have an easier time getting a woman than single men so it gives them a boost of confidence. I can say without hesitation that this wedding ring makes it easier to get a date. yea thats what i said
Ieris Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 @ Hopeful30 - When you find the answer, please let me know as I also have the same problem >_< So tired of being the bi*ch who stole their boyfriend... really need to do a full background check before getting involved with anyone nowadays. 2
newmoon Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 ditto your problem. what age group are you and these guys in? i have to say that a majority of the men who are married/taken that approach me are in an upper age group, married for quite a while and tired of their wives (which they readily disclose), and they do have a confidence that the single guys lack. perhaps, as someone else mentioned, because they have nothing to lose. i think a lot of them - the MM - don't get attention/flirting at home, so they use any opportunity they can to test their skills and hey - it might work. i guess it often does since people end up in affairs with them. it doesn't solve the problem of why they do it, but i have noticed that if you are single and in their same age group (but not married yourself) they look at you as what they could have had if they were still single.
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