lovebound Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 After a long time without dating, I met a guy last year in may, online. we met a week later and we clicked! It lead to 4 months of communication and dates. I liked him because he was so sweet, gentle, always be gentleman, very intelligent, we had a lot in common!. The problem is that he was going to be sent to another state for 5 months for school for the navy. he decided to join at a late age trying to get money for school. First, he went to bootcamp. first of October, we renewed communication back in December when he got to his new base after bootcamp, and it seemed like all was going well. and suddenly broke up with me two days ago, telling me he started seeing someone else. At first I thought it was someone there, but it turned out to be apparently some old flame from another state that flew in and went to see him, three weeks after he got out of bootcamp! I did not see that coming! especially when all was going so well between us and only 4 weeks to return here! I suspect this is an ex who used to live with him, but she has been long gone for a long time. How could he do this? Then he asked if I wanted friendship, I turned him down as I felt so hurt. it lead to a whole heated argument from there down to name calling etc. then he blocked me on facebook the same night!! someone please put some sense in me! this makes no sense! I did not want to lose this man, why would he do this?
Gaeta Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 After a long time without dating, I met a guy last year in may, online. we met a week later and we clicked! It lead to 4 months of communication and dates. I liked him because he was so sweet, gentle, always be gentleman, very intelligent, we had a lot in common!. The problem is that he was going to be sent to another state for 5 months for school for the navy. he decided to join at a late age trying to get money for school. First, he went to bootcamp. first of October, we renewed communication back in December when he got to his new base after bootcamp, and it seemed like all was going well. and suddenly broke up with me two days ago, telling me he started seeing someone else. At first I thought it was someone there, but it turned out to be apparently some old flame from another state that flew in and went to see him, three weeks after he got out of bootcamp! I did not see that coming! especially when all was going so well between us and only 4 weeks to return here! I suspect this is an ex who used to live with him, but she has been long gone for a long time. How could he do this? Then he asked if I wanted friendship, I turned him down as I felt so hurt. it lead to a whole heated argument from there down to name calling etc. then he blocked me on facebook the same night!! someone please put some sense in me! this makes no sense! I did not want to lose this man, why would he do this? I am very sorry for your disappointment but it seems you were not in an exclusive relationship. When you say he got back in touch in December do you mean you did not hear from him between October and December? Ex don't fall out of air-planes unexpectedly. I believe they never completely severed contact or got back in touch while he was a boot-camp.
umirano Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 See the upside, he didn't cheat on you and was upfront about his attraction to someone else. Go NC, arguing with him won't change anything and the name calling isn't necessary. It's too nasty. I'm sorry, it must hurt. Appreciate that you got a heads up, a lot of people would just try to have their cake and eat it too.
kendahke Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 After a long time without dating, I met a guy last year in may, online. we met a week later and we clicked! It lead to 4 months of communication and dates. I liked him because he was so sweet, gentle, always be gentleman, very intelligent, we had a lot in common!. The problem is that he was going to be sent to another state for 5 months for school for the navy. he decided to join at a late age trying to get money for school. First, he went to bootcamp. first of October, we renewed communication back in December when he got to his new base after bootcamp, and it seemed like all was going well. and suddenly broke up with me two days ago, telling me he started seeing someone else. At first I thought it was someone there, but it turned out to be apparently some old flame from another state that flew in and went to see him, three weeks after he got out of bootcamp! I did not see that coming! especially when all was going so well between us and only 4 weeks to return here! I suspect this is an ex who used to live with him, but she has been long gone for a long time. How could he do this? Then he asked if I wanted friendship, I turned him down as I felt so hurt. it lead to a whole heated argument from there down to name calling etc. then he blocked me on facebook the same night!! someone please put some sense in me! this makes no sense! I did not want to lose this man, why would he do this? What did he say about how his relationship with his ex ended? She may have been gone a long time, but it appears that they were in touch at some point in the recent past so that she could float the idea of her coming out to see him, reconciling with him and then making travel plans to go see him and do just that. He's not really all that up front--he was hatching a plan behind your back instead of telling you the moment that the ex's hooks were embedding that he was going to see what that was about. Right now, friendship is probably the last thing you want with a deceitful person, which is what he is. Lying by omission is deceit. It's unfortunate that it devolved into arguing and name calling. To answer your question: he did it because that's what he wanted to do. He wanted to go in reverse and get back with someone with whom he's already broken up. Some folks really never learn their lesson. Don't be surprised if he tries to contact you in the future.
Author lovebound Posted February 9, 2015 Author Posted February 9, 2015 I agree with the last reply. Something must have occurred prior to him leaving to bootcamp since the timing seems quite fast after he got out of bootcamp. He graduated last week in November, she flew in by Christmas Day. Seems a trip needed at least some planning the week before, sounds quite fast. I think he wasn't too upfront on that. .... Now for all the ones that responded thank you! But here is something more to scratch your head with: I decided to get on the dating website online again just to chat, meet other guys, u know start the process of moving on. Well, he still has me as a connection there, and guess what? He appeared to have been logging at various times all day. Every time I got a message from someone there and I logged in, I saw a different time by his name. So I guess he is not being that truthful to her either. How disappointing.
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