brad175 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I have a really simple situation I'd like some advice on. A little background information first, because why not? I'm currently up for whatever. If I could find someone I'd like to be in a long-term relationship with, that'd be great. However, I'm not finding anyone, and I need some more dating experience anyways. So I'm doing the whole casual thing, for a while I guess. So I was on Tinder today, and I matched with a girl. Needless to say, I was attracted to her. She was too, apparently, as she messaged me first with "You look good in that shirt. You'd look better inside me." I'm thinking "Whoa! Greenlight!" I made sure to check her profile to make sure she wasn't another scammer-bot. It seemed to check out. Since she basically told me that she wants to have sex with me, I figured it made sense to reciprocate the bluntness and to likewise be assertive. So I responded with "I bet I would. What are you doing tonight?" She 'unmatches' me. WTH?! Seriously, is there something I'm missing here? I'm genuinely trying to figure out if there's some overlooked female psychology here that could explain the situation. Somebody help me out.
SycamoreCircle Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 You sound very young and new to dating. Or online dating. Take the scenario you experienced most recently. Multiply it times 10,000. Throw in every imaginable variable possible. That is what you will experience throughout your life. There are few rules to the world of dating. But one might be Murphy's Law: anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Another might be---do not get too invested too early.
CC12 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I would guess that she wanted to flirt and have some sort of back-and-forth conversation with you before going straight to, "So when can we meet up and ****?" Or she may have had no intention to meet anyone at all, and just wanted some sexy-talk online. You clearly weren't interested in sexy-talk, just meeting up with her to have sex, so she moved on since you two weren't looking for the same thing. Whatever her reason was, you did kind of move faster than she did. You raised the stakes. I would suggest that you try to match the pace of the people you correspond with.
Author brad175 Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 (edited) SycamoreCircle, that's actually pretty helpful. I am pretty new to this stuff. I'm 26, but I just recently found my confidence. I'd really like to learn from my screw-ups in dating, whenever possible. Since this is such a simple interaction, I figured I could isolate some lesson somewhere. And damn okay, sexy talk. Sexy talk doesn't equal sex. Okay. That's kind of confusing as hell, but I'll get it. I would have been okay with that, I guess. But what do you say to something like that? Edited February 8, 2015 by brad175
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