My break up

[MaticPecovnik]

Ok... So this is my story.

 

I meet my "ex" when I was 16 and she was 14. For four years we had a great relationship. We could talk about everything, we trusted each other and we always tried to communicate as much as we could. We had a good sex life even though our libidos were very different. Hers was mainly a problem because of her insecureties. When she felt confident she would want sex more than I did.

 

This year she went to college. Everything was fine at first. We would spend even more time together, but because of all the studying, and because we both had roomates we went from two nights of sleeping together to only one. And also because she didnt feel good talking over the phone in front of her roomate we just settled on texts. When she was home we would here each other every day and we talked for at least an hour.

 

Also she meet a schoolmate. I imidiatelly sensed he was trouble so I said I dont like that she spends so much time talking to him. She only said that I should not tell her who she should be friends with, and because I agreed and just feelt insecure about the whole thing I droped the whole thing.

 

About a month after that she said she feels confused about us and she doesnt know what she wants. I immidiatelly asked if that guy is the reason and she said no. She said she is sorry about the whole thing and we should still be together.

 

After that situation I feelt very insecure in that relationship, so I asked her to try a little harder if she wants to be with me. She did try harder and I was again feeling good about us when she told me we should talk. She said she realized she does like (no feelings though) that guy and she cant pretend anymore. So we broke up. I had an exam so I was in a hurry so we settled on talking about it later in the day. We mett later and she was visibly more distressed about the whole thing then I was. She was crying and saying sorry all the time, and that she loves all the time but she never said she wanted to be together so we broke up. We were huging and kissing all the way through the break-up so it was really confusing to me. She said I shouldnt be a stranger but I said I cant talk to here right now so she cried even more, but I stood firm.

 

Later in the evening she already texted me that she misses me so I called her. We talked for about an hour and because we still both wanted to be together but couldnt really commit at that time we settled we would have a short break without communication so we both could work some things out. We settled on a week (I only read your 30 days later ) because she wanted to return some things to me and she will come to town in a week. She also said she felt she was betraying me with her feelings towards that guy and that I deserve better and that that was the reason whe broke up with me. That was totally like here so I believed here. She could be very selfish but at times totally selfless, when it wasnt really appropriate or healthy.

 

So this is what happened. I have to say this happened yesterday and that I did put a lot of thought into us.

 

I really want to be with her, because she makes me be a better person, because I know what we had only 2 weeks ago and I am sure we can have it again, because we have the same life goals and aspirations and also because we find each other very attractive, if that is even important. It is to me so I guess it is.

 

But on the other hand I am not really sure if I do want to be with here, because she did take me for granted sometimes and she could be really moody at times and she would take the anger out on me even if it was not even about us and I just took it but I guess that is what support means. I did tell here that all these things bother me and she always said she was sorry but never really tried to make a change in these things.

 

I dont really resent her the "liking that guy". Sometimes feeling arise you dont really want but they are still real. It is all in how you handle them, and she handled them awfully this time around.

 

So I guess what I am wondering is if you have some advice for me. Are we handling things ok? Do I have the right reasons for wanting to get back together and forgiving her ?

 

Thanks for the answer. Writting this really helped me out a lot so I could better understand some things and get them into perspective. I know I will be a load of **** in an hour so even an hour of peaceful mind is good.

 

Sorry for any grammar mistakes. I am not a native speaker. And thanks for all the advice. I really need a plan for proceeding with my life.

 

Matic

[MaticPecovnik]

No need to give me any advice anymore. She just ended things with me. But I guess I am ok with it.