santi13 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Right now my husband is cheating on me with his co-worker. Awesome. I found out while using his phone last night. A text came through & popped up on the screen from someone named Angie. I read it & basically found out about everything. They also have been drinking & smoking weed together while at work according to the messages. He has been working late with her for the past week & is also working late with her tonight. I honestly have no emotion towards this. This is not the first time he has cheated on me. & with everything in total that he has put me through I'm pretty much emotionless now. Our marriage really isn't anything anymore either. We haven't had sex since June 17th, 2014 exactly. I'm not even joking. I just need advice on what I can do now. I don't have any family I can go to or talk to. I have zero friends. My social life is pretty nonexistent. I'm 20 years old. I have a 1 year old daughter & 1 month old son. So I can't just leave unless it is somewhere safe for my kids. I'm just trying to figure out where do I go from here. Hopefully someone who has been through something like this can help me figure something out. Thank you.
StalwartMind Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 That is a bit of a situation that can make you feel rather stranded. It's not an environment that is ideal or beneficial for you to stay in for too long. I don't know what your options are and if it's possible for you to move out and be on your own in the foreseeable future. Is family completely out of the picture? If that is the case then you need to find a way to support yourself and your children. As poor of an option as it is, sometimes circumstances forces you to stay in a place until you can move on from there. I'm sure some will be able to give you some better and direct advice, but it all does depend a bit on your current situation and what options are within reach. Despite the situation being difficult there are always ways and methods to improve your current conditions.
Poppygoodwill Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 What about women's shelters? Not ideal of course, but if you feel like you have to go right now, then they will no doubt take you in and help you find alternative housing and so on.
d0nnivain Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 If you have family go to them even if you don't feel close. You need to get out of where you are. Then talk to a lawyer about a divorce & child support.
stellamaria Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Okay, you sound like you might be suffering from depression? Obviously I cant really know this from a single message, but you're emotionless that your marriage is non-existant and he's having an affair? Is he nasty to you? Anyway, you can ignore it, if you are happy to carry on the way you are, or leave him, or confront him and throw him out. Are you worried about your finances? How you'll survive and look after your children without him? What a horrible guy he must be. Drinking and smoking weed when he has a baby! Not to mention the affair.
harrybrown Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Talk to an attorney. See how much child support and alimony you will get and if you can make it on your own. He sounds like a serial cheater. You have a long life ahead of you. Sorry you are going thru this terrible experience.
Author santi13 Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 That is a bit of a situation that can make you feel rather stranded. It's not an environment that is ideal or beneficial for you to stay in for too long. I don't know what your options are and if it's possible for you to move out and be on your own in the foreseeable future. Is family completely out of the picture? If that is the case then you need to find a way to support yourself and your children. As poor of an option as it is, sometimes circumstances forces you to stay in a place until you can move on from there. I'm sure some will be able to give you some better and direct advice, but it all does depend a bit on your current situation and what options are within reach. Despite the situation being difficult there are always ways and methods to improve your current conditions. Thank you for the advice. I have a job now but it's not enough to move out right away. So I guess staying put is the only thing I can do for now until I find a higher paying job. I've stayed this long so I guess sucking up a couple of more months or so won't hurt. I have absolutely no family. My mom is a drug user & very hard to keep in contact with so I can't find her at this time. My dad was abusive to me as a child so I wouldn't feel comfortable having him around my children on a live-in basis. We keep in contact & he may be able to help me financially if I ask him to. But living with him would never work.
Author santi13 Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 What about women's shelters? Not ideal of course, but if you feel like you have to go right now, then they will no doubt take you in and help you find alternative housing and so on. I called a few women shelters last month when I wanted to leave but they were all full. & I would have to leave with my children at a certain time each day & basically be on the streets until their returning hours. We have 18 degree days here still so I can't have my babies out in the cold. Leaving would be so much more easier if I didn't have kids or if they were older. I have to worry about their wellbeing whenever I think of an option. And I have no good ones right now. It's just hard.
sandylee1 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Oh dear, what a sad situation. Two children and you're just 20. Quite clearly the cheating will not end. Consult a lawyer about your rights, as knowledge is power. You haven't slept with him for someone, so this is a troubled marriage, but from what you describe is not worth saving. I'm so sorry for your situation. Keep posting as there is a lot of advice to be gained from here.
loveboid Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 (edited) I would continue not having sex with him. The last thing you need is an STD, another pregnancy, or to get sexually/emotionally bonded with this guy. Keep saving money. Slash all expenses. Find a financial guru like Dave Ramsey. My mother left her husband with $45 in her pocket and it got stolen that night. She left us kids with him and got us later. She had no family either. She has no education. She worked and saved money like a banshee and has it made now. I would try to keep your kids if I were you. You sound to me like you have your head on straight. P.S. She waited until we started school to leave. She was a stay at home mom. I think you're lucky here in that you have a job and an opportunity to save money before leaving. P.P.S. Keep your money separate and hidden from him. That was her problem...he kept blowing whatever money she scraped up. Edited February 8, 2015 by loveboid postscript
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