xpaperxcutx Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Hi Everybody, I haven't been around LS for so long, primarily because for the last 3 years, I thought I had been in what was supposed to be a loving relationship. But just today, I officially separated from my boyfriend. His heart hadn't been in this relationship for a long time, and I was too needy and clingy that two weeks ago, he decided to connect with a new girl he met at a bank; and now he's officially with her. I can't force his hand because I did the pleading and prodding and even told him I was going to hurt myself. I just pushed him away. He said he is happy with her because she was everything I was not. He was always expecting me to be the girl he wanted but of all the places he found, he found those qualities he wanted in her. Yes, I am hurt. I thought I could've fought for him and change for him. But he said it was too late and the only he could see me now is either as a sister or as friend. Of course, I can't be mean to him, because I did some horrible things to him in the past to make him hate me to move on like this. I did apologized to him for all the hurt I caused him and I had nothing but the absolute love for him (he did treat me very well in the relationship). I had no choice but to respect his wishes because begging and acting like a psychopath wouldn't make him love me or choose me over the new girl. In my heart, I want him back, but he has broken up with me once before, and only time in this case, would be able to heal most things. Of course last time, he didn't move on with another girl. This time, I think he has found the person he wants to marry in the future, because she is closer to his age and wanting to settle down. I mistreated the one person who loved me 100% throughout our relationship. I was wrong, and I have many regrets. But at the same time, I am so much stronger this break-up than the last. I'm acting much more rationally because I want to change and move on for the better. Yes, I still have a little hope for him, but dwelling on hope doesn't work especially since another girl is making him happy. I want to work on myself. I've been eating okay and working out this past month and I have lost some weight. This journey will be a very rough one because I once again lost the one support that I wanted the most. But he's not everything. I know that now. It will take a lot time. I just hope that I won't shed another tear for him.
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