Tarpun Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 (edited) We've known each other for years and lived near one another. She was in a relationship with a friend of mine for 10 years. As I went back to college, her attitude towards me changed. -She would keep staring at me. -Whenever I appeared, she would grin real big while the BF frowned. -She would talk about her body to me over email. (talk about her butt, etc.) -One time she was sunbathing in the front lawn and kept looking my way. Once she saw that I had seen her well, she got up and went inside. (only time in years she ever was in a bikini outside) -Over txt chat, she would tell me how sexy I was. -I asked her for girl advice for a phone number I got from a girl. Even though she never met her, she told me how terrible the girl was and that I should leave her alone. -When she knows I'm around, she will dress up in special dresses. -A few months ago at a party, when BF was away she would tell me that BF was weak. Another time when BF was away, she told me that she 'needed a break'. -She moved away promptly afterward. When doing so, she began email conversations with me which she said her BF knew nothing about. She told me details of her family and other secrets. She kept saying how she hoped the BF would break up with her. -She was several hours away. The BF pulled the plug officially on the relationship. She is all sad, in tears, and everything. I told her, "I still want it. When you're ready, let me know." -On her blog, she would tell family that she wasn't interested in any man in the city she was in. She gave a description of the guy she likes. It fit me to a T. -A few weeks ago, she sent me a letter detailing events in her life. She gave me her phone number to txt as well. -I txt her. She always responds immediately. If she doesn't, she does when work allows her. (She just started a new job.) -In her first txt, I say I like the selfies she posts of herself on her blog. Next day, there is one of her in bed only in panties and socks. She complains how she is stuck cuddling a pillow. -Seeing that as a sign of encouragement, I replied to her email saying how I would prepare to go see her. At the end, I mentioned how she wouldn't have to cuddle a pillow much longer. I txted her that I sent her an email. (I'm sure she read it.) -A few weeks pass where I have a few days where I can go and see her. I ask her out for dinner. The reply asks me what my intentions are. "Dinner," I respond. "It's too far to drive just for dinner. And I'm too tired from work." she responds. My last txt was, "We're not friends, pen pals, or txt buddies. We're no longer neighbors. You turned down a date. What is your intentions towards me? Why do you keep reaching out to me? Why did you give me your phone number?" No response since. I'm confused. Very strong IOIs and she was quite aggressive. What should I do? I was thinking of trying to talk it out with her. But I'm suspecting she wants attention more than she wants me. She also just posted this on her (that's not her site, but she did post that image). Since she knows I read her blog, it seems like a passive msg to me. WTF? Do I have to prove I'm not a murderer just because I asked her out to dinner? Nonsense. Any advice? Edited February 8, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed url to personal blog
preraph Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Did you ask her out for the same day of the date? That might be why. Other than that, I just have no idea.
starmar Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 She sounds like she may have narcissistic tendencies, maybe not full blown out psychological disorder but definitely something isn't right. She is playing games for attention, has loyalty issues (talking about her boyfriend) she has victim mentality (no one in her town is good enough, woe is me...) The psychologist in me only has one thing to say: run. 1
Author Tarpun Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 Did you ask her out for the same day of the date? That might be why. Other than that, I just have no idea. No. It was a week in advance.
devilish innocent Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 She was heavily suggestive, but there was never any direct talk about the two of you being together sexually or romantically. Then you just came straight out and told her you would share her bed. She might be a tease who just wanted attention. Or she might have wanted you to romance or seduce her first. You were acting a bit presumptive about being able to sleep her, and that may have scared her off. I guess you've got nothing to lose by trying to talk to her, but I think you've missed your chance to play her game. I can't see the picture you posted so this is just in response to the rest of what you wrote.
bolase Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I can't see an image or blog link in your post above FYI, if included, but from what I've read here I think she is attention-seeking and dramatic, rather than genuinely wanting to date you. If she wanted to date you and was truly interested in you romantically, she would have jumped at your offer of dinner. The "it's too far for just dinner and I'm too tired" is some weird sh*t test. I'm a girl and the only reason I think you would say something like this to a guy would be that you a) felt obliged to have sex with him because he was driving a long way to meet you - which is insecure - or b)you didn't trust him and thought that he would pressure you into sex for having come a long distance to meet you, in which case why are you even talking to the person. Her lack of response to your straight up questions about her intentions are very telling..she will just waste your time and frustrate you, ditch her and go for another girl.
Author Tarpun Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 The "it's too far for just dinner and I'm too tired" is some weird sh*t test. I'm a girl and the only reason I think you would say something like this to a guy would be that you a) felt obliged to have sex with him because he was driving a long way to meet you - which is insecure - or b)you didn't trust him and thought that he would pressure you into sex for having come a long distance to meet you, in which case why are you even talking to the person. You hit the nail on the head. I believe it is B. She is having major trust issues (and she is insecure). Her break-up did not go well. But she's known me for years. As a girl, can you answer me this? The only one bringing up sex is her. I've never brought it up. She alludes to it, and I just make a joke carrying it on. I suggest dinner and I get all this 'what are your intentions??' and etc. related to sex. If a girl keeps bringing up sex unprompted, then that is telling me that she wants it. Or am I wrong? Her lack of response to your straight up questions about her intentions are very telling..she will just waste your time and frustrate you, ditch her and go for another girl. This was my thinking as well. I feel like I've played every card I can with her.
Author Tarpun Posted February 9, 2015 Author Posted February 9, 2015 Now she has told me to 'Never contact her again.' WTF!? All because I asked what her intentions were? Hahahahahhaha. I asked her "Can you at least tell me why?" Then another, "Don't contact me again. Last Warning." OK..... hahahahahahaha
amaysngrace Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 You should've just hit it for all the drama you're getting. Then maybe it'd be worth it.
Author Tarpun Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 Now she is screeching about sexual harassment on her blog. This is just too funny. A girl gives you every IOI in the world including emotional cheating, gives you her phone number, you flirt with her sexually to see if she is game or not and she responds enthusiastically. So you ask her out for dinner. Then she EXPLODES! hahahahahaha I've never seen anyone so delusional. The problem is that delusional women can still scream rape or sexual harassment. What's so funny about this is that I don't find her that attractive. It's just that she was so aggressive towards me that I decided why not.
Standard-Fare Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Since your link or image or whatever was removed, can you tell us under what circumstances she "called you a murderer"? This chick seems unstable. She's hot and cold. She's completely unpredictable. She plays complicated mind games. But I think she did send you a pretty clear red light with the "It's too far to drive for dinner" message, followed by her failure to respond to your need for clarification...then... accusations against you? If you continue to be intrigued by this bullsh*t, that's your business. But you're never going to be able to rely on her for anything healthy or normal.
EgoJoe Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 You were too sweet. She wanted you to tell her to come over and bend over so you were the seducer and she could be your helpless victim. Next time just ask when she's ready to realize her fantasies. Also, you're not a very good friend.
bolase Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 (edited) I'm sure she does want it in theory and all, but she is nervous about how it would pan out, she doesnt want to feel pressure to do it - maybe she sees you as quite sexual and the type of guy that would expect sex on the first few romantic dates? It is not your issue, it's hers unless you have some reputation for being obnoxiously demanding of sex from other girls (which I'm sure isn't true!).. she should be strong and stable enough to just go have fun, knowing that if she isnt ready for sex and you suggest going home, that she can just say "I had the best night! But I'm going to go home and get sleep, I'd like to see you again soon" or something. I don't think it's some reverse psychology thing where she is asking you to take control/demand sex, if that's what you're suggesting.. EDIT After reading the follow up, thats insane, I don't understand why she is so edgy but do not talk to her again for your sake! You hit the nail on the head. I believe it is B. She is having major trust issues (and she is insecure). Her break-up did not go well. But she's known me for years. As a girl, can you answer me this? The only one bringing up sex is her. I've never brought it up. She alludes to it, and I just make a joke carrying it on. I suggest dinner and I get all this 'what are your intentions??' and etc. related to sex. If a girl keeps bringing up sex unprompted, then that is telling me that she wants it. Or am I wrong? This was my thinking as well. I feel like I've played every card I can with her. Edited February 11, 2015 by bolase
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