Mothel Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Hi all, I'm new to the forum and would like to ask some advice on how I should react to a certain situation regarding my girlfriend; Ok then, so for starters, how would you feel if your girlfriend, who happens to be a school teacher, was taking the students away for a week long residential abroad with another member of staff who happens to be male.... when they arrive safely, she calls to let you know they are ok, and whilst enquiring about the hotel and the rooms, you discover that she hasn't actually got a room to herself, but is in fact sharing a room with the male member of staff, to which you had no previous knowledge of? Ok, well I'm imagining that general consensus here is going to be that the majority of men would certainly be none too happy about this, regardless of how much they might trust their partner? Well, ok then, to put a slight twist on this.. lets now replace that male member of staff with a lesbian.. now how would you feel about that? Well, this is what has happened to me, and to be honest with you.. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. After all.. is it really any different to her sharing with a man? Presumably, a lesbian is going to have the same feelings and sexual desire towards a woman that a man would have, and so I can't help feeling in a similar manor to if she were in fact sharing with a male? Before anyone asks.. no, as far as I am aware, my girlfriend doesn't have any sexual attraction towards females.. but having said that, I'm guessing it's not the sort of thing that she'd be too open to talk about even if she did. I realise that I've likely got nothing to worry about, as I do trust my girlfriend.. but still, I can't help feeling a little uncomfortable about the situation. What do you guys think? Thank you for reading
Giggle Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Get a grip? Why would the school pay for an extra room when they are both female. You can't go "I trust my girlfriend" and then be weirded out by her sharing a room with a lesbian. Chill out silly
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I can understand your concern...I wouldn't worry though. If it was a guy, perhaps. But if your wife is not attracted to other women, I really wouldn't stress over it. Calling her and talking may help?
Author Mothel Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 Get a grip? Why would the school pay for an extra room when they are both female. You can't go "I trust my girlfriend" and then be weirded out by her sharing a room with a lesbian. Chill out silly Hi Giggle.. I'm guessing you're a female? Why would they pay for an extra room when they are both female?.. because one of them is a lesbian? How is that ANY different to one of them being a male? I do trust her.. but I guess you'd also look down on me for being "weirded out" if I were to post this question about her sharing with a male?
Author Mothel Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 I can understand your concern...I wouldn't worry though. If it was a guy, perhaps. But if your wife is not attracted to other women, I really wouldn't stress over it. Calling her and talking may help? Yea, thanks fore the reply.. I did consider mentioning it to her.. but then again, I didn't want to seem like I was making a fuss.
Author Mothel Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 I would not be the tiniest bit concerned. I wouldn't say that I'm concerned per se.. more just a little uncomfortable about it
preraph Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 You are way out on that wing. She's not a lesbian, so nothing is going to happen just because the other woman is a lesbian. I'm sure your woman doesn't just let people rape her. C'mon, get a grip on yourself. This is such immature and selfish thinking. 2
Author Mothel Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 (edited) You are way out on that wing. She's not a lesbian, so nothing is going to happen just because the other woman is a lesbian. I'm sure your woman doesn't just let people rape her. C'mon, get a grip on yourself. This is such immature and selfish thinking. Thank you for the reply.. You're female too I'm guessing? Lol. I think you are misunderstanding me in the sense that.. I don't actually think my girlfriend is in danger of being raped, or starting a relationship with this woman.. disapearing into the sunset, never to be seen again.. No.. It's much more that I'm just a little uncomfortable with the fact of her having to share a room with someone whom is essentially the opposite sex.. At least where sexual desire is concerned. Would you be saying the same to me if I'd said that she'd gone away and was having to share a room with a male member of staff (of a very similar age)? If not.. Then why is that? What is the difference? As I said.. I do trust my girlfriend, and so, even if she were sharing with a male.. It's not her I wouldn't trust.. And I'm also not implying that the male would instinctively try to rape her (your words).. But, none the less, I would feel a little uncomfortable with that situation. Why? Well, during a week long stay with someone sharing the same hotel room.. There is a very good chance that at some point, or maybe even on numerous occasions.. you would likely catch each other in some sort of uncompromising situation.. Be that a state of undress, or what ever else you can imagine. Well, maybe it's just me, but I certainly wouldn't be too happy about another man being able to 'get off' on seeing my girlfriend naked/semi naked (and before you say that a man doesn't necessarily 'get off' just because he sees a woman naked, that would be talking complete rubbish).. and I really don't see the difference here. To my thinking.. A lesbian obviously shares her sexual tendencies with a man, and if I'd feel uncomfortable with her sharing a room with a man, for the above reasons.. Then why shouldn't I feel exactly the same, and for the same reasons if she were to share with a lesbian? Maybe I'm just not understanding this whole lesbian thing Edited February 8, 2015 by Mothel
preraph Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 The difference is she LIKES men! So yes, on the off chance he happened to look like George Clooney and neither of them had any ethics about sleeping with married coworkers, she might be tempted with a MAN. You are OUT of your mind about this. Please relax. Do yourself a favor and don't go looking for problems where there aren't any!! It's business. This is the kind of insecurity that can totally wreck a relationship and create what you fear most, and I'm serious about that.
Author Mothel Posted February 9, 2015 Author Posted February 9, 2015 (edited) Just a quick update on the situation if anyone is interested; so I’ve just spoken to my girlfriend, who’s been there for around three days now. Bearing in mind that I've mentioned nothing of this to her.. She has just told me that she’s feeling very uncomfortable with the situation of having to share a room with her lesbian co worker, as already there have been numerous ‘inappropriate’ situations which have occurred that she’s not entirely happy about. On two separate occasions, whilst my girlfriend has been in the bathroom showering, her co worker has ‘accidentally’ burst into the bathroom, obviously catching her naked in the shower.. proceeded to apologise, but none the less, both times carried on with what she was doing.. either washing her hands, or getting something etc, but my girlfriend said that it was blatantly obvious that her eyes kept wandering over to her direction in the shower. She said that she didn’t know whether to cover herself up, or just carry on showering.. in the end, she decided to just continue, as she didn’t wish to draw attention to the fact that she was uncomfortable with the situation, but none the less, she said it certainly felt awkward, and completely obvious that her co worker was enjoying the situation. Also, on both occasions, she said that she could swear that she had locked the door behind her when she entered the bathroom.. the door apparently has one of those locks that can be locked from the inside, but can also be opened from the outside with a coin or something similar if necessary..strange that don’t you think? The other thing which happened only last night, was that my girlfriend had got into bed before her co worker, and fell to sleep.. she woke up around an hour or so later to find her co worker standing right next to her bed with her mobile phone pointed towards her as if she was taking a picture. As soon as my girlfriend opened her eyes, she said her co worker jumped.. flung her mobile phone over onto her own bed.. went bright red and mumbled that she was looking for her charger. My girlfriend said that she couldn’t be 100 percent certain, but she’d swear that she was taking a picture. My girlfriend has said nothing to her about any of this as she said that it’s not worth rocking the boat over, and after the advice I’ve received on here about damaging our relationship.. I just said that she’s probably imagining it all.. but I’ve already written here about how I really feel about the situation! So.. what are you going to tell me now? That I’m still pathetic? That I should give the poor lesbian girl a break as she is just enjoying herself and making the best of her ‘fortunate’ situation? As I said right back in my first post.. it wasn’t my girlfriend that I didn’t trust! Edited February 9, 2015 by Mothel
preraph Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 Yes, you're still wrong to be making an issue of this. As you can see, your wife is handling this very well on her own. She may just be paranoid, though. Just because someone's a lesbian doesn't make them a sex offender! They're sharing a bathroom and a room. The last time I was forced to share a room with a coworker, who was married, she stayed out all night in the hottub with a client and when I got up in the morning to take a shower, her wet torn panties were hanging from the shower rod:eek:
Author Mothel Posted February 10, 2015 Author Posted February 10, 2015 (edited) Yes, you're still wrong to be making an issue of this. As you can see, your wife is handling this very well on her own. She may just be paranoid, though. Just because someone's a lesbian doesn't make them a sex offender! They're sharing a bathroom and a room. The last time I was forced to share a room with a coworker, who was married, she stayed out all night in the hottub with a client and when I got up in the morning to take a shower, her wet torn panties were hanging from the shower rod:eek: Are you serious? She isn't handling it at all.. She asked for my advice, and I told her that she was imagining it.. Even though, I'm pretty sure that she isn't. I'd say that there is virtually a 100 percent chance that that bathroom door was locked.. If she'd forgot to lock it once.. But both times? That doesn't sound very likely. So you're condoning the fact that some other individual.. Forget the fact of whether they are male or female, essentially forced entry on an occupied bathroom, knowing full well that the occupant was showering? EVEN if that door was unlocked, but closed.. surely it would be common decency to respect the privacy of your room mate and not enter until they were finished wouldn't you think? That's even if they were both heterosexual females.. Add to that fact that one of them is homosexual, and surely the etiquette there is a no brainer? So your reaction would also be exactly the same if my girlfriend was having to share with a male colleague? If a male colleague were to do exactly the same thing.. burst in on a female coworker in the shower, presumably unlocking the door from the outside.. You'd consider that to be perfectly acceptable too I suspect? And if your answer in no.. then can you please explain why? My girlfriend is very intelligent, and so I'd also be highly surprised if she's wrong about the picture taking too.. But we'll give her the benefit of the doubt on that one. I have absolutely nothing against lesbians, but when one is clearly taking advantage of my girlfriend.. It becomes very personal Edited February 10, 2015 by Mothel
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