CandidGestures Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 So, where to begin. I've been single for four months or so. I'm not necessarily looking to get into a relationship, but wouldn't mind if that were to happen either. In any case, I met this girl. She works the graveyard shift and leaves at 7 in the morning. I get there around 5. We barely see each other, but I managed to get her number. Long story short, we've been texting for two days now and I've learned quite a bit about her. She's extremely open-minded. She's flirtatious. She's single and just got out of a relationship. She used to do drugs and party and all the like, but recently stopped. She works out 6 days a week now and drinks two homemade (healthy) smoothies a day. She's changed. Great for her! I commend her for it. So we were talking last night and she ended up having to go, because she was going to watch a movie and snuggle, her words exactly. I said okay and wished her a pleasant evening. Today, this morning, she texted me first and we started talking again. Come to find out... she was snuggling with her personal trainer. I didn't react in any kind of way. I said said cool! And teased her about it. Anyhow, she's sleeping with her personal trainer just for the thrill of it or so she says. I actually enjoy spending time with him but made it clear that it's just for fun so I'm still single as hell. She goes on to say... In all seriousness, I hope I get to know you better because you do seem like a fun person. Alright.. so guys and gals, help me out? She just got out of a relationship with a dude that was way below her standards. I asked her why she was dating such guys. Her response, "Sometimes I just settle because of my insecurities." Okay, so, she's smoking hot! Initially, that's why I wanted her number, but I've come to find out that she's a bright, educated and ambitious young girl who just tends to be a little insecure about certain things. I'm okay with that. I mean, although I am sexually attracted to this girl, I am not talking to her for the mere purpose of getting laid. I want to get to know this chick! But I'm weary.. and I think rightfully so. What are your thoughts? Why would she be so open about her FWB status with her personal trainer. If a woman wanted to get to know me, isn't that something she'd want to keep to herself? Or is it a means to get me jealous? I just need to know if I need to just pass on her or give it a chance. I just feel weird talking to her knowing a dude is banging her on a regular basis. Yeah, we're not attached or dating or anything like that, but I have the intention of getting there.. and it's hard for that to progress if I know she's having sex with another dude. What should I do? Just move on to the next one, take her openness about her sexual friendship with her personal trainer as a move to get me jealous? Is she a potential for having a monogamous relationship? Honest, blunt and straightforward advice would be appreciated! Thanks.
LostOnes05 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I wouldn't hold my breath with that one. If a woman was texting me while she was cuddling and having sex with another guy, I would pull way back. That wouldn't make me jealous but rather lose any attraction I had for her. FOR ME, the emotional detachment from sex would be an issue. If you are still interested, tell her that when she is done playing around to give you a call. That will help you gauge her interest. Still...I wouldn't wait around for the call.
preraph Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Well, let's start with just being practical. You decide to date her. Every day she goes to the gym, where most days at least she will see her personal trainer. Is life going to be fun for you under those conditions? No. And there are many red flags here, but here is the hidden biggest one: She has no boundaries. She hasn't even met you and has blurted out who she's sleeping with and that it's not serious. Who does that? Someone with no boundaries or sense of propriety who thinks everyone is probably like her. People with no boundaries get that from childhood, from their parents, oftentimes one inappropriate parent. It's not something easy to fix. So no.
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