Together 3 years, got engaged, she left me 3 months later.

[Kinetica84]

She got her trip to Vegas, you saved the cost of a wedding and expensive lawyers, doesn't take the hurt away. Sounds like she just moves from one relationship to another. You dogged a bullet.

 

Agreed.

 

She is showing the exact same behavioral patterns as my ex and this story sounds identical to mine.

 

Walks like a duck, quacks like, smells like a duck.

[BC1980]

This is very powerful to me. Not knowing all the reasons and having lots of questions really bothers me. I'm struggling with the fact that I will probably never know. I also suspect emotional cheating (gut feeling based on some circumstantial evidence) but I have no way of knowing and honestly I don't have the courage to dig into it. I know that digging is just going to cause me pain--what's the point?

 

The fact that you are past caring anymore is an inspiration to me. Cheers.

 

Sorry for the small derailment, but this perspective might be helpful to the OP eventually.

 

BTW, OP--my relationships was around 3 years as well all things considered. What's up with the 3 year mark indeed.

 

It's normal to want all the answers in the beginning, but you eventually figure out that you will never get the answers you are looking for. I spent hours trying to figure it all out. I think you just reach a point where you have to stop. When I found out my ex was engaged, I hadn't talked to him in a year. I found out he got engaged fairly quickly after he ended it with me to a woman he knew while we were together. So yeah, something was probably going on, but I honestly didn't even care that much. I did a little snooping, but it was more out of curiosity than actually being emotionally affected by it.

 

You will get to a place where you don't care, and OP will too.

[mtnbiker3000]

People who dump never provide closure to the dumpee. It's in the relationship limited warranty handbook; "no dumper_(name)_ shall promise to or be expected to herein to provide the dumpee _(name)_ with emotional closure. Any expectation for closure will be met with stonewalled silence, text breadcrumbs, blatant lies, or defensive regret. The dumpee is expected to herein seek out emotional closure through the public assistance provided by internet forum message boards, friends, family, chaplin, pets, children, coworkers, famous breakup songs, and any social media platform where the broken hearted can seek solace from others."

 

Classic!!!

[imagine1985]

Ahhh man i feel for you.

 

I am so sorry you are going through this. My breakup with my ex of 3 years is identical to yours but i'll get to that in a minute.

 

I hate to say it mate but it sounds like she has emotionally checked out and possibly with this guy at work. All i can say is this, erase her from your life. Focus on you and your daughter and let get on with it. If someone wants to walk out of your life despite you trying everything then let them crack on. Yeah do your time feeling ****e but don't dwell there too long bud.

 

My story. Me and my ex gf, we moved in together, she also got a new job. 3 months after living together and 3 months at her new job i noticed changes in her. I suspected something was up. This was in Aug 2014

 

We started falling out big time, something was telling me things were wrong. One night i went down her phone. In 3 years i had never done that. I found texts between her and best friends discussing her feelings for this guy she works with.

 

My ex is 34, this guy is 50 years, 2 kids and still married. I found out 2 months after we split (we split in november 2014) she was cheating on me with this guy and is now with him.

 

Never ignore your gut feeling bud. If she has blocked you then take that as i sign she has emotionally checked out and quite possibly with this guy.

 

I feel your pain as our situations are so similar. If you want to talk private message me. We both from the UK so we'll understand the slang talk lol.

 

 

Hello, firstly would like to thank you for your great advice, and taking the time to reply to my post.

 

 

yes I'm very confused at this time, and can't help but think about what the hell had happened?

We both had our ups and downs just like any other relationship, we discussed how we was feeling many times in regards to the problems we had but equally discussed great positive things in life and the commitments we had in the relationship. My daughter was very close to her and eventually even called her 'step mummy'.

 

 

My ex fiancée told me how she had made so many plans for 2015, firstly in January she had made her appointment with the nurse to have her birth control implant removed as we both was going to be trying for children of our own, secondly she organised and paid alot of money out for my 30th by booking a hall inviting guests, booking a fantastic Beatles tribute band that cost a fortune as well as booking a holiday for us both, next was arranging on moving into a bigger house together by the end of 2015 with high hopes of a pregnancy.

 

 

(now many readers may think she may of been scared off with these commitments but I can honestly say she seemed really excited by it all)

 

 

I had spoken to her mum and even she was stunned by her decision, and had stated how much her daughter was excited with all these arrangements.

 

 

All I know is when I asked her why she had left me is she told me I was 'too paranoid over her speaking to men'

 

 

yes I had challenged her behaviour towards some blokes but with good reasons. She also seemed to care about the opinions of others (that didn't matter) more than my own opinions.

 

 

things readers should know about how she acted around men:

One day she had come home talking about a bloke called Rik, and for weeks his name was always on her tongue, (examples being they had cute nicknames for each other 'sue')

now please note we both worked together and finished at the same time, she told me one afternoon that sue (rik) and his buddy Luke had asked her out for a drink, I did say that's very nice of them (when are we going?)she told me I wasn't invited, that's when I explained that it wasn't appropriate to be going drinking with two blokes. (please tell me if I'm out of line anyone reading) anyway weeks later I finally had the chance of meeting Sue (Rik) and Luke on our work lunch time.

 

 

she introduced me to 'Sue' but nastily stated "This is Sue but its Rik to you" I didn't say too much but listened to conversations, on one conversation my fiancée was discussing a subject to Luke about a portrait tattoo she had been wanting of John Lennon, (she has a huge crush for JL) Luke quickly told her "hey babe just think when you get your tattoo on your arm just think you'll have me tattooed on you" now my fiancée always spoke of the guy that looked like JL and spoke often about him.

 

 

(made me feel like s*** tbh)

 

 

Another occasion me and my girl and a falling out and didn't speak for two days, on the third day she come to my house one evening wanting to work things out however approximately 1am she received a BBM text from a bloke from the workplace reading (hey beautiful, hows u tonight xxxxxx) when I questioned her she said it was only her new friend from the warehouse and she couldn't control what was sent to her.

 

 

(yes I know I should of dumped her for good) however I was in love, I did not speak with her for approximately two weeks but after the pleading and begging to give her a chance... I did... Because I still loved her.