FLBuccaneer Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 My girlfriend and I of 2+ years recently got into an argument because she attended an event where her ex would be present. I was OK with this but the argument was her not telling me until I asked. I was hurt and told her I cannot be with someone who withholds information, especially involving an ex. That was 3 weeks ago. I called her the next day after the initial argument and she never answered or called me back. I texted her saying, How can you just ignore me when you lied? She said she's not ignoring but it's impossible to have a conversation with me because I was being hurtful. Whatever. Anyway, I just got word today that she was seen at a 5k race with her ex. Which all makes sense why she was able to completely ignore me and not show any remorse and be so cold. I'm in shock because we haven't really had a conversation and now she is hanging out with her ex. I need some help desperately.
Light Breeze Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) Personally, I wouldn't be bothered with her not telling that she was going to an event where her ex would be present, she might have thought it was nothing, he's an ex after all. What REALLY bothers me though, is the fact that she does it again after she knew you didn't like it the first time. My God, Dude, if that does not look like a clear neon sign that she doesn't care about how you feel, then I don't know what is. I'm sorry to say but I think there's some serious "rekindling" going on here. She is treating this as a break up, I think you should too. Sorry brother. Edited February 7, 2015 by Light Breeze
questionsforthenouns Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I agree with Light Breeze. That is totally uncool of her and shows that she is not concerned with your feelings, or at least not as much as she should be. If I were you, I would emotionally back off from the situation until she contacts you. Then try to get some truth out of her. Because dude, this is not what happens in healthy relationships. A gf who is fully invested in you does not act shady like this. Stay strong and fight through this..everything is going to be ok
Kinetica84 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 My girlfriend and I of 2+ years recently got into an argument because she attended an event where her ex would be present. I was OK with this but the argument was her not telling me until I asked. I was hurt and told her I cannot be with someone who withholds information, especially involving an ex. That was 3 weeks ago. I called her the next day after the initial argument and she never answered or called me back. I texted her saying, How can you just ignore me when you lied? She said she's not ignoring but it's impossible to have a conversation with me because I was being hurtful. Whatever. Anyway, I just got word today that she was seen at a 5k race with her ex. Which all makes sense why she was able to completely ignore me and not show any remorse and be so cold. I'm in shock because we haven't really had a conversation and now she is hanging out with her ex. I need some help desperately. Confront her!
michael-034 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Whatever you do, absolutely do NOT confront her. She's over you, she's over it, she won't give a ****.. That's the problem, she's a cold slimy b*tch and just let it be. Manipulative girl who uses the argument as a break up (and there was nothing wrong with you having a problem with it, completely normal) and doesn't have the heart, guts and honor to honestly tell you what's up.. Pure manipulative trash. Let it be, do not confront her. Go completely no contact, no goodbye messages, no emails. Let girls like that go
darkbloom Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I think you should ask her about it when you calm down a little bit. Meet her in person and ask her to explain to you what she was thinking and why she didn't tell you. (You'll also be able to see if she is lying in her eyes.) In my personal experience, when an ex hides something from you, it's not a good sign. Especially when an ex is involved or someone you suspect they have flirted with. Tell her exactly how it makes you feel and that you are not comfortable with it but do not get angry or you will put her on the defensive. Good luck. 1
Author FLBuccaneer Posted February 9, 2015 Author Posted February 9, 2015 I think you should ask her about it when you calm down a little bit. Meet her in person and ask her to explain to you what she was thinking and why she didn't tell you. (You'll also be able to see if she is lying in her eyes.) In my personal experience, when an ex hides something from you, it's not a good sign. Especially when an ex is involved or someone you suspect they have flirted with. Tell her exactly how it makes you feel and that you are not comfortable with it but do not get angry or you will put her on the defensive. Good luck. How can I do this when she hasn't returned my calls in about a month and the last time I heard from her was over 2 weeks ago? This exact situation happened a year ago, we fought and she just ignored me for 6+ weeks and then came back into my life after I was already moving on. My fear is that the same thing will happen again and I don't know how to handle it and not sure I can resist not responding if she reaches out. All speculation at this point but I know her and when she is bored with her ex, she fall back to me like she is doing with him now. I haven't even spoken to her since our fight...is she just a coward who is using this small argument as a mechanism to break up so she doesn't feel any guilt? Obviously her feelings and respect for me have diminished. I could never just leave it like this if I lied and she was hurt.
Light Breeze Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Brother, if she did this before, chances are she'll do this again and again in the future, until such time that she dumps you completely and utterly. I say, stay strong and cut her out of your life for good. She already showed you that she's more than fine lying and being apathetic towards Your feelings.
Chi townD Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Move on, dude! Because she already has. No need to confront. Why? So you can put her on blast and she can run back to her new man (that happens to be her Ex) and he can be that shoulder to cry on and have them talk smack about you. Thus, relieving herself of that guilt. Your silence will speak volumes. She has no idea where your head is at. She doesn't know if your mad or sad r just don't care. She doesn't know if your laughing or crying or indifferent. YOU GIVE HER NOTHING! And she'll have to hold to that guilt. If you put her on blast, you give her a reason to forgive herself. Don't give her a reason. Just move on with your life. 1
Holmes85 Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 My girlfriend and I of 2+ years recently got into an argument because she attended an event where her ex would be present. I was OK with this but the argument was her not telling me until I asked. I was hurt and told her I cannot be with someone who withholds information, especially involving an ex. That was 3 weeks ago. I called her the next day after the initial argument and she never answered or called me back. I texted her saying, How can you just ignore me when you lied? She said she's not ignoring but it's impossible to have a conversation with me because I was being hurtful. Whatever. Anyway, I just got word today that she was seen at a 5k race with her ex. Which all makes sense why she was able to completely ignore me and not show any remorse and be so cold. I'm in shock because we haven't really had a conversation and now she is hanging out with her ex. I need some help desperately. FLBuccaneer, Most of the girls (and boys) would never admit that they cheated on you. They would give you minimal information on what actually went on and keep you going in circles. Her actions speak volumes here, she clearly lied to you and went to her Ex. She is not interested in you, neither does she care about your feelings at this point. She threw you out like garbage. I would personally cut this one off and go complete NC on her, don't tell her about ANYTHING. Take the time to work on yourself and get your selfesteem back, once you have regained your confidence, find someone who knows what they want and are not hung over their Ex'es. 1
darkbloom Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 How can I do this when she hasn't returned my calls in about a month and the last time I heard from her was over 2 weeks ago? This exact situation happened a year ago, we fought and she just ignored me for 6+ weeks and then came back into my life after I was already moving on. My fear is that the same thing will happen again and I don't know how to handle it and not sure I can resist not responding if she reaches out. All speculation at this point but I know her and when she is bored with her ex, she fall back to me like she is doing with him now. I haven't even spoken to her since our fight...is she just a coward who is using this small argument as a mechanism to break up so she doesn't feel any guilt? Obviously her feelings and respect for me have diminished. I could never just leave it like this if I lied and she was hurt. She sounds like she is keeping you open as her option. In this case since you did not have an official break up, not responding is very childish and might be her immature way of letting you know it's over. She does not sound very mature or that she is able to handle situations well. If YOU do NOT want to go through this again then block her on everything. NC all the way. If you are holding out hope that she will come back, you're going to have to resolve the issue. She is basically mindfu**ing you over again. She sounds like an emotional terrorist. My ex had to cheat on me twice and break up with me three times before I realized that I was ALLOWING myself to be treated that way. I will never be in a relationship with someone like that ever again. You deserve better too.
lolablue17 Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 I recommend you to try to contact her, tell her you love her, tell her that you would do anything just to be with her - That is if you are a doormat with no self respect, and wants to be miserable all the time. But if you wish to maintain some dignity, never contact her again and refuse to even talk to her if she's looking for you for some reason. It's over, move on!
mightycpa Posted February 10, 2015 Posted February 10, 2015 I cannot be with someone who withholds information, especially involving an ex. I think you were perfectly clear. It seems she's taken you at your word, but you're not quite ready to do the same thing.
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