liove Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 1.very short relationship (roughly 2 months) but quite intense. i am too distant and not too much involved. we break up! one month of silence he contacts me again and we finish by sleeping together but he is not sure he wants smth with me because the reason we broke up first time disturbs him...bulls**t! silence again! we keep in touch anyway (once or twice a week), we get along really well and we make each other laugh (this lasts for several weeks) 2. i know he now has a girlfriend (since january or smth) but he keeps contacting me asking for news 3. We decide to see each other and we have a very good time together. he wants to know everything about me, and he keeps mentioning our past together. he takes pictures with me and compliments me a lot. he implies that he kind of regrets (i dont know what exactly but he mentions this word several times when talking about the past). i make him laugh a lot and he tells me that is incredible how fast the time passes when he is with me... He tells me he missed me and he is really happy to see me again and he implied he wants to see me again (as buddies i suppose). He describes her girlfriend with the same qualities he saw in me when we first met (what a coincidence...). Besides, he kept all the photos with me on his phone (even the "sexy-pics" ) at the end, he suggested he wanted to see me again but i didnt quite reciprocicate. he writes to me next day, asking me why i am silent (didnt give any signs after our meetup). the only advantages i have regarding his girlfriend, is that she is not beautiful and i am (dont judge me, i know is superficial but that counts sometimes) and that i have a great career (she is jobless looking for one, and guesss what? she wants to work in the same field as I do ) my question is: what is the next step? should i continue talking to him, ask him for a 2nd meetup (just like buddies)? i don' thinks is a good idea to stop talking to him and i cannot move on either because it's been 4 months and i still cant get him out of my head.
d0nnivain Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 If you are broken up, sleeping with him is a bad idea. If he has a GF sleeping with him is a worse idea. By reaching out for you while he has a GF he is showing you that he's willing to be a cheater. Do you really want a cheater? Do you want to be a home wrecker? Cancel the meeting. 1
xtopher65 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 That is a great response. I used to be like your ex.
Author liove Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 what makes you think he is a cheater? if he cheats, this means he is not happy with his giflfriend but he didnt cheat, he hasntr try to sleep with me nor kiss me. what makes you think he is a cheater? we havent slept together i will also like to mention that the first time i slept with him was on our 6th date and he always tells me that i was the only one with whom he hasnt slept of the first date...
d0nnivain Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 what makes you think he is a cheater? if he cheats, this means he is not happy with his giflfriend but he didnt cheat, he hasntr try to sleep with me nor kiss me. what makes you think he is a cheater? we havent slept together He has a GF & he's making a date with you. Unless she knows about it & is OK with it, he's cheating on her. Trust me, she doesn't know he wants to meet you because her relationship is too new for her to be OK with her new BF seeing his EX-GF on purpose. Also because you said you are more beautiful then she is, it makes me think he only wants to be with you for superficial reasons (your looks) & is willing to hurt his current GF because she's not pretty enough. That makes him a cad IMO. Your notion that if he cheats that means he's not happy with his GF is a very unhealthy & unrealistic way of looking at it. If you aren't happy with the person you are dating, you break up not sneak around. You sneak around because you like the thrill, because you are a coward, because you are dishonest, because you are narcissistic. It's waaaayyy more than unhappy.
Author liove Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 He has a GF & he's making a date with you. Unless she knows about it & is OK with it, he's cheating on her. Trust me, she doesn't know he wants to meet you because her relationship is too new for her to be OK with her new BF seeing his EX-GF on purpose. Also because you said you are more beautiful then she is, it makes me think he only wants to be with you for superficial reasons (your looks) & is willing to hurt his current GF because she's not pretty enough. That makes him a cad IMO. Your notion that if he cheats that means he's not happy with his GF is a very unhealthy & unrealistic way of looking at it. If you aren't happy with the person you are dating, you break up not sneak around. You sneak around because you like the thrill, because you are a coward, because you are dishonest, because you are narcissistic. It's waaaayyy more than unhappy. But nothin ghappened...why would be this a date?! it was just a meetup with an old friend . He even told me that if i invite him upstairs nothing will happen (without me saying it). I really think he wanted to invite him upstairs...but nothing would have happened anyway. or maybe i am too naive... and yes you are right, he told me that he didnt tell his girlfriend yet but that he was going to tell her the next day. And maybe for him, she is beautiful, we dont know that! Once again, he is not sneaking around. We just met each other because we have fun together. Is so impossible that two people who used to date for a certain time want to just hang out?
Satu Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 How would you like it if you were in his girlfriend's position? Much? Not very much? Not at all?
Jessie1231 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Maybe it isn't physical cheating yet, but it can't be something the girlfriend would like. Keep that in mind if you get back together with him - there's a good chance he will hanging onto an ex then the way he's hanging onto you now. I have heard from random exes like this, and it always irritates me.
Author liove Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 How would you like it if you were in his girlfriend's position? Much? Not very much? Not at all? i am not jalous as a person but if the girl with whom my bf meets is more beautiful than me, then yeah i would probably start to worry. But i dont think that way, I know I didnt do anything wrong (I as well have a "new" boyfriend and told him i will meet with a friend). I know i havent done anything to seduce him nor to make him think i want something more. So if he acts like this is not my fault. Anyway, this doesnt mean i dont want to see him again, as a friend.
Author liove Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 Maybe it isn't physical cheating yet, but it can't be something the girlfriend would like. Keep that in mind if you get back together with him - there's a good chance he will hanging onto an ex then the way he's hanging onto you now. I have heard from random exes like this, and it always irritates me. i dont know what to say! i dont think he cheated, on the contrary, he would have tried to sleep with me if he hadnt had a gf. He has one so he didnt do anything stupid.
travelbug1996 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Well go ahead and meet him. You will probably end up cheating on your partners since both of you are in relationships. You seem naive and determined to get together with him. What was your reason for coming here to ask a question if you don't see anything suspect with what you're doing?
Author liove Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 the reason i came here is to know whether should i ask him to see us again or waiting for him to do that? i really want to see him again and i am stuck and dont know what actions to take in order to be sure it will happen! dont want to show him too much attention but dont want to ignore him either. I just want the balance and i cant seemt to understand whether i have it... and another reason is because i wasnt sure whether he still liked me or not but i guess you all gave me the answer....
CarrieT Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 i really want to see him again Why? To what end? He has a girlfriend. What could seeing him again accomplish other than the possibility of it leading to an infidelity? Everyone else here has been trying to tell you not to see him again and you keep putting up arguments against that. So I will ask again, Why?
candie13 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 the only reason you think about him is because you did not meet anyone more interesting just yet. You've had a go at him and you were not that impressed. Trust me, if you really liked him, you would not have gotten rid of him when you two were dating. if anything he is a bit more of a challenge now, because he has a gf. he's feeding your ego, which is a great feeling, but do not mistake this for love . do yourself a favor and meet new people cheers
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