Shining One Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Last night, I was having dinner at a restaurant/bar with a friend and his wife. When I walked in, there was a young man sitting alone at the bar by himself nursing a beer. Shortly after we were seated, a group of young women came in. A few minutes later, the women start chatting up the guy and the drinks start flowing. We're at our table, periodically noticing the exchange. My friend's wife says: "Poor guy, he doesn't know any better." Some time passes and we've just paid our check. The women are leaving, a few of them give the guy a hug before they walk out, leaving the guy alone with the bartender. I go up to them and we have the following exchange: Me: Hey there. How much damage did they do? Young Man: $220. Bartender: Top-shelf martinis. Sorry kid, I already took a few of them off for you. Me: Did you at least get any phone numbers? Young Man: No... just first names and some hugs. Me: Such is life. I hope you've learned a lesson about opening your wallet for some pretty faces. Young Man: Yes, that's a week's pay for me. Me: (I drop $100 on the bar) Hopefully, this will soften the blow. (My friend does the same) Young Man: Thank you! (Shakes both our hands) Me: Just pay it forward when the time comes. Have a good night. Seeing this event take place reminded me that 12 years ago, a kind older man helped me out when I was young and naïve in the dating world. I finally had the opportunity to pay it forward. It felt good, and I hope that young man does the same when the time comes for him. Now, share your stories of paying it forward... 5
StanMusial Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I don't get it... Some guy buys a bunch of strangers drinks and then you end up paying for it?
Author Shining One Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 I don't get it... Some guy buys a bunch of strangers drinks and then you end up paying for it?A young man gets tricked into buying expensive drinks for a bunch of young women by feigned interest. None of the women were actually interested in him. My friend and I covered most of his tab. The same thing happened to me 12 years ago and an older man covered my tab out of kindness because he knew I had been tricked too.
salparadise Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I get it, completely- the kid got scammed for a weeks pay. Shining One and his friend eased his burden with no expectation, because they could, and because they know the difference between grace and virtue. Last summer my girlfriend and I took a nice day-ride on my motorcycle. We stopped at a sex shop off an interstate exit in the middle of nowhere. As we were gearing up to leave a guy rolls up in a old car. He says he's broke, out of gas and needs to get to the hospital in town over an hour away. Said his mother had fallen ill that morning. He asks if I can spare a few bucks to help him out. So I think about it a second or two and give the guy $30. My girlfriend's jaw drops and she says, why did you give him that- he could be lying! I said yea, I know he could be. But what if he's not? And here we are out riding around on a nice motorcycle, wearing first class gear, eating in restaurants, and just dropped a fist full in that sex store... we're not going to miss any meals because I bought him a tank of gas. And what if that's makes the difference between him getting there in time? And even if he was lying, I still gave that money to someone who is obviously a lot less fortunate than me. 2
Gloria25 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I'm sorry, but while what you did was nice and all, I think that kid should have been left to feel the burn... This will not be the last time some woman(en) will manipulate and/or attempt to manipulate him in this life. If it's not drinks at a bar/club, it's manipulating him into paying their bills, marrying them, having kids, etc. If he doesn't feel the burn now, he won't be prepared to tell them to get lost in the future. In life, we get stronger/smarter from going through bad things. If someone is there to "rescue" us, we won't feel the burn and won't get smarter/stronger.
Under The Radar Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I get it too and can absolutely appreciate what you did for the young man. Without mentioning specifics ...... I've had a lot of help in my life ...... and I've worked hard to return the favor to others ...... sometimes strangers. The assistance I've received motivates me to give back and strive for benevolence. You are right in that it does feel good; puts a smile on my face every time. Someone on the forum once said: "We're all in this together (meaning life) and at the end of the day we really need to be walking each other home (metaphorically of course)". I see many people IRL, and on LS, doing that everyday. Paying it forward is an amazing thing.
Allumere Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 well done and indeed a good reminder for folks to pay it forward. we have all made poor choices, been burned, etc. I'd say for me the lesson stuck whether I had help or not. This young guy probably felt sick to his stomach when he got that bill and was probably so grateful for the help...he won't forget.
StanMusial Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I understand helping the less fortunate but it's not like those girls mugged him. What did he think would happen if he shelled out two bills for top shelf liquor? A wild orgy with some coeds? Not to split hairs on the virtue of charity but it's not like you're building a wheelchair ramp for a limbless veteran or feeding the poor at Christmas dinner.... 3
Honeybunnies Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I worked at Starbucks for almost four years and have a lot of pay-it-forward stories! They generally occurred around the holidays and in the drive-thru. One person would go ahead and pay for the person behind them. Sometimes the next person would continue the chain, paying for the customer behind them. It never lasted too long though. It always ended with one person saying, "Oh... Cool. Thanks. Bye." Haha
preraph Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Wow, I didn't know there were wild herds of marauding girls overtaking innocent guileless men and forcing them to buy drinks. And I've worked at a bar before.
Author Shining One Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 What did he think would happen if he shelled out two bills for top shelf liquor? A wild orgy with some coeds?I can't speak for his intentions, but if he was anything like me 12 years ago, I imagine he was hoping for a date or at least a phone number. I didn't know how much top-shelf martinis cost back then. Wow, I didn't know there were wild herds of marauding girls overtaking innocent guileless men and forcing them to buy drinks. And I've worked at a bar before.Hyperbole much? Six is hardly a herd and I admit, I didn't do a thorough background check to ensure he was innocent and guileless. You've never seen women sweet-talk guys into buying them drinks, despite having no interest in them?
preraph Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I can't speak for his intentions, but if he was anything like me 12 years ago, I imagine he was hoping for a date or at least a phone number. I didn't know how much top-shelf martinis cost back then. Hyperbole much? Six is hardly a herd and I admit, I didn't do a thorough background check to ensure he was innocent and guileless. You've never seen women sweet-talk guys into buying them drinks, despite having no interest in them? Nope. I knew a call girl once who only ate if a man was buying her dinner though. Sounds like something that would only go on a strip club or someplace that attracted prostitutey type women. It's never a good sign if a woman opens with wanting you to buy her something. I hope he learned from it. 1
Timshel Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 It is a little surprising to me that some would question this reaction to the boy at the bar. It may be the particular circumstance that is baffling. I have found that it is something that derives from instinct. A moment/situation presents itself and there are so many different choices of action based on perception and character. A person chooses to make a positive, negative or apathetic action. Yes, apathy is action. All choices are verbs. The level at which a person is moved to action depends on both their character and perception of need based of past experiences. I agree with your choice Shining One. There are far more people that learn from compassion than the opposite. For the one's that don't this is between them and What Is, Karma, God, Eternal Energy, The Alpha/Omega and every word for what exists beyond ourselves. I would wonder the quality of their experiences but stop myself. Everything has it's place and purpose in space and time. It will all be revealed. I consider myself far too ignorant to worry over the choices of others, I only see 50 pieces of a zillion. Life if easier if I remain true to my own character and trust that where I am is exactly where I need to be. I pay it forward every day and every way I can. I don't think I can ever do enough. 2
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