amytct Posted April 2, 2005 Posted April 2, 2005 Well, I was weak yesterday and broke NC. I first wrote him a short e-mail saying "XXX, If you don't want to spend time with me, all I ask is that you do me the honor of telling me so. A couple hours later, I felt bad, and sent another message apologizing for the harshness of the first e-mail. I told him I had been frustrated because we hadn't seen each other for over a month and that he was being rather distant lately. I also told him I felt like I was in limbo because I didn't know what was going on and I would feel better if I knew what he was thinking. I then said that no matter what happens, I didn't want there to be bad feelings between us, because I still care for him very much. I then told him to take care of himself. He hasn't answered either message, which I can't say I'm surprised by. In any case, I know I cannot contact him anymore or I will be accused of stalking and be hit with a restraining order. I'm just so sad right now.
simon_uk Posted April 2, 2005 Posted April 2, 2005 I am sorry to hear you were weak but i can sympathize with you, i am feeling the exact same thing and desperately want to contact my ex but I am terrified of getting a knock back like you have. Dont worry we are all foolish in love, it cant be helped but try to be strong again now, especially now! Love Simon
vickimonster Posted April 2, 2005 Posted April 2, 2005 Hey amytct, I am sorry to hear about how you are feeling, I know how crap that can be. Don't beat yourself up over breaking NC. We all do it. It is horrible waiting and not knowing, so hard to feel good again. Try and do something to take your mind off him though. I know it is hard but you are probably feeling pretty bad at the moment, taking your mind off it even for a little while can help the levels of sadness go back down to a bearable (just) level. I find planning new things can help. I plan to take up a new hobby, or a holiday, do some research into it. You may never actually do it, but at least you can dream about something other than the other person for a little while. I hope you feel a bit better soon. Hugs to you.
greenhorn Posted April 2, 2005 Posted April 2, 2005 Yeah don't stress yourself on breaking the NC. If it helps you then first NC of mine lasted for 2 weeks and I broke it when I thought I would die. Second NC lasted for 3 weeks when I broke it in middle of night when I dreamt of her and then in the same condition of half asleep and half awake I called her. The third NC is going strong since the last 4 months and I am so resolute that I will die but wont contact.So it happens with everyone. Love makes us do irrational things, don't get stressed due to this. Things will turn for better. What goes up comes down and what goes down will always come up. When you have hit the low in your life then you would rise and you would be much more wiser this time. Best Wishes
Author amytct Posted April 2, 2005 Author Posted April 2, 2005 Thanks and hugs to all of you as well. It's just so hard after having invested three years in the relationship to have it end and to have it end with him refusing to talk to me. I'm going to go out for a little while now, go to the bookstore and then pick up a DVD to watch this evening, something to cheer me up. I know getting through this first weekend is going to be tough, right now (I know this is awful) I just wish it was Monday so I'd have work to keep me distracted.
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