gnick Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) Looking back on my breakup 3 and a half months ago I am completely embarrassed and ashamed of most of the texts calls and emails .I would go 2 or 3 weeks then for 2 or 3 days do it again. Most of them were directed at trying to find out what I did wrong or Listing everything I thought I may have done wrong in the relationship. Allmost all of it come across as needy pathetic and borderline stalker. I'm sure I was on the verge of a restraining order. Going back over it now just makes me cringe. I can't believe some of the stupid **** that come from me and I remember it seemed perfectly logical at the time. I can't believe how many times I repeated myself. I doubt she ever speaks to me again. I must need therapy. Has Any body else ever done this to themselves? Edited February 7, 2015 by gnick 3
Sarabi Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I am glad for you that after 3 months you are reflecting on this. It has been more than a year since they broke up after 4 or so months of dating and my flatmate is still chasing her ex... 1
Mi7522 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Looking back on my breakup 3 and a half months ago I am completely embarrassed and ashamed of most of the texts calls and emails .I would go 2 or 3 weeks then for 2 or 3 days do it again. Most of them were directed at trying to find out what I did wrong or Listing everything I thought I may have done wrong in the relationship. Allmost all of it come across as needy pathetic and borderline stalker. I'm sure I was on the verge of a restraining order. Going back over it now just makes me cringe. I can't believe some of the stupid **** that come from me and I remember it seemed perfectly logical at the time. I can't believe how many times I repeated myself. I doubt she ever speaks to me again. I must need therapy. Has Any body else ever done this to themselves? As long as you learn from it, who cares, just make sure you don't do it next time 2
Ieris Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Oh man.. I've done some pretty dumb things back in the days. I don't even know where to start but anyway the good thing is I learnt not to ever to do it again Plus I am extremely glad I never see those people anymore because if I did, I'd want to dig a hole and jump in it! 2
Author gnick Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 Lol I know how you feel. In 6 months I may solicit advice on an opology letter 1
Jonjon4728 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Oh man I have been doing that over the course of my entire relationship; My girl was constantly breaking up with me and I was constantly groveling; Completely controlled everything about me; When I really think about it, we spent more time breaking up then we ever actually did together; Last nite I sent a bunch of mean **** to her thinking it would make her see how bad she hurt me and maybe take pity on me say sorry SONETHING; I had cut her off in every way except her email; Said the worst **** on earth that I've been dying to say for the last week since she and I were talkin at a bar, she gets mad, tells me she's gonna **** someone else and it's MY FAULT, does it, is proud, tells me about it then tells me to **** off good luck out there; Absolutely the cruelest most brutal thing ever; I kept my mouth shut the last eight days but I finally let it all out and it doesn't feel better at all; One thing I know it guarantees tho, is a complete finality; I guess she got her last punches in and I wanted to get mine in, and I did, I feel bad, but in the end, this solidifies the fact that that girl was awful; All the groveling I've done turned me into a shell of myself, I quit being passionate loving inspiring everything, and was constantly trying to please her; In the end we accept the lover we think we deserve; And you DESERVE BETTER, but don't feel like a jack ass; It's Alrite; Done the same ****; Take solace in the fact you understand how lame it was and move on; I say this as a reminder to myself to do the same thing 1
Jessie1231 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Absolutely! I had a total meltdown the day we broke up, managed to threaten, insult, beg, and basically do anything else you'd expect from a mentally unstable person. I did some ridiculous things that I don't really like to think about now. I mean I guess it's kind of funny to think about now since I have no desire to get that relationship back, but I hate how weak I seemed. But I felt truly weak at that point. And yes, I know the feeling of being on the verge of a restraining order. I was sure one would be coming when I had my little fit. Had I been on the receiving end of that sort of crazy, I would have had a restraining order against the person. 1
mawkij Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I donno if we need therapy....but i begged and sent like 20 lengthy letter....stating every possible reason and making promises and giving her reasons to come back and giving her all the power to set rules...i even apologized for things i believe now was right .....and the funny thing is that i never got a word back....after all of that i stayed no contact for 2 weeks and i couldn't help it ....i now send her a letter every Thursday :/
Simon Phoenix Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Lol I know how you feel. In 6 months I may solicit advice on an opology letter The best apology is just to leave her alone. She'd appreciate that a lot more than any letter. 2
Jonjon4728 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Thing I've done the last seven days is talk merciless **** on her to everyone in the town and it's a small town; Kinda coming to grips with how nuts I've been on this bender, like, I work at the hot spot in town too; A silver lining I guess is that no girl will want to be with me knowing how nuts I am for a bit, which is probably a good thing; I mean I have been doing nothing but drinking heavily in the job going to bars before work and on days off all day talking merciless **** on this girl it's been insane and after sending all that stuff las nite I would t be a bit surprised if I got some sort of legal paperwork in the mail very soon about this; It's really quite embarrassing but I guess gotta do what you gotta do; Like i was literally bawling constantly everywhere publicly talkin crap hardcore it's pretty insane really; But I haven't drank tonight and threw out all my alcohol and am just staying in perusing these sites and apologizing to mutual friends about how nuts I was the last week; Being bitter is a crazy ass feeling; Really wish I would've coped a little better cuz now I know she's gonna be hearing it from eeeeeeveryone but I guess that puts the icing on the cake on the coffin that's been nailed in for most of the relationship anyways;
seminoles84 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 .i now send her a letter every Thursday :/ Stop doing that. 1
seminoles84 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Alcohol and breakups don't mix very well. This is so true. Literally every time I broke NC or made an ass of myself, it was after some serious drinking. 1
Jonjon4728 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Ya I'm done with it SERIUSLY reading all these different posts and reflecting damn I have been nuts; Definitely apologizing to the people I remember saying **** to god it's crazy; Being bitter is terrible can't do it anymore 1
Mi7522 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) I donno if we need therapy....but i begged and sent like 20 lengthy letter....stating every possible reason and making promises and giving her reasons to come back and giving her all the power to set rules...i even apologized for things i believe now was right .....and the funny thing is that i never got a word back....after all of that i stayed no contact for 2 weeks and i couldn't help it ....i now send her a letter every Thursday :/ lol how is that working out? I done things I can laught at now because time heals, everyone else will to Edited February 7, 2015 by Mi7522
The Poster Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 The ex that brought me here. Embarrassed looking back doesn't even BEGIN to describe it. Begging, pleading, chasing, letters, e-mails, gifts, facebook statuses, you name it, I did it. This was before I knew what no contact was. Part of the problem is, we continued to talk and even see each other every now and then. We even gave reconciliation a shot after a few months, but it had no chance of being successful. The recent ex, haven't spoken a single word to her since the breakup. Even during the breakup, I never once begged or pleaded. Simply said I understood and would respect her wishes and wished her well in life. It is really painful having not spoken to her at all since. It makes me feel like I was meaningless.
JustDeadInside Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I can't believe how many times I repeated myself. *sigh* Yeah... I know what that's like.
erklat Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Yeah, bargaining, letters, gifts, you name it. Every fail from the book - I did it. Kind of makes you cringe. Sometimes I think that a little part of me died that day.
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 "I've never made a fool of myself chasing an ex." --- a complete liar 2
Seeker12 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 When i went into my emotional instability i tried reaching out to her first, worst thing i ever did, she shut me off completely, then i dealt with it on my own. Most if not all of the stupid and silly things i did were verbal or textual, whether thats trying to fight for her, trying to get her to see the way i saw it, just yea, silliness and embarassing.
SoThatHappened Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 1st time, looked a little weak after trying to convince her (after only 2 months) not to break it off so she could get back with an ex-boyfriend. 2nd time, after she came back and after 7 months of her shouting she loved me from the rooftops and me completely falling for her... I ghosted her a$$ thanks to this forum. Got breadcrumb texts and emails from her as long as 3 months post-breakup. Did not respond to the last text of her apologizing. 1st rule of being dumped - ghost them 2nd rule of being dumped - ghost them
Simon Phoenix Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 i now send her a letter every Thursday :/ Wow, I just read this. This is a tragically bad idea and needs to stop immediately.
FancyFace Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Man, I made such a fool of myself, such a fool. In the first phase, he started by icing me out slowly. In that phase, I wrote emails upon emails, long texts, calling like a crazy woman, buying gifts, taking him out on dates, even showed up to his house unannouced with no shoes on LOL! He said everything was fine, that he was just stressed so I kept grabbing at straws. The second phase being the day he broke up with me will haunt me forever. I stayed the entire night basically begging, pleading, groveling, repeating myself over and over again, even got on my knees at one point, whilst he either shouted thinly veiled insults at me or asked me humiliating questions like it was tribal counsel on Survivor. All the while he had a smirk of delight on his face the entire time. Had sex, thought everything was ok, woke up in the middle of the night to try talk to him again, got ignored or shouted at until he decided to have sex again, thought everything was ok. In the morning got told to start packing my stuff and he would consider whether we should be friends or not and he will text me in a couple of weeks to let me know. SOUL CRUSHING AND BRUTAL! Dignity, self-esteem, self-love were clearly a foreign concepts to me but my positive spin on it is that my embarrasment was wrapped in one day and after that day I had no choice but to maintain NC. Terrible experience. I am sure on my death bed that will be one of the more poignant and pronounced moments when my life flashes before my eyes. 3
Nolan 93 Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 (edited) I made a fool out of myself by begging, chasing, writing a couple letters, texting I guess it pushed her further away from me. This was my first real break up at 21 she was my first love. I've always been the one to fool around and never date. After a month of NC I wrote her a final email saying "please don't think little of me for begging, chasing, crying, and pushing you away". And of course more stuff in there. She later replied at 1am the next day, "yes I did feel cornered by everything, but what I saw was a man who had a broken heart. Chasing after the woman he loved, and that woman broke your heart and that woman was me. I'm sorry Nolan. I wanted to tell you, that you were the most perfect boyfriend any girl could have. You spoiled me, fed me, held me, reassured me, and most importantly loved me, and I coudnt appreciate that in the way you deserved". More in there of course her letter was throughly written. It sucks the break up does when you both don't agree on it but it's life. When I go through another break up I will just walk away and not beg or chase. I have learned a lot from this relationship. I'm thankful for spending almost a year with this girl. She will always have a special place in my heart. We all were fools once during a break up lol Edited February 7, 2015 by Nolan 93 Add something 1
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