Messages ex gf/feeling guilty

[Jonjon4728]

I have been so miserable and felt so wronged by my ex and ended up breaking the no contact rule;

I wanted her to feel my pain, to really know how bad she hurt me;

I called her every name in the book;

I said the most hurtful things I've ever said to anybody in my entire life, and waking up today, of course, apologized;

I've been on this 14 day drinking bender but today I threw all my alcohol away;

I am trying to figure out a way to cope with the guilt I feel for saying what I said;

It's very difficult;

Can somebody help me with some suggestions??

[ghsteo]

This video right here gave me so much clarity during my breakup(Almost to a month now, few weeks limit contact since we had a house and are in the process of figuring everything out). The premise of it and one of the lines is, IF someone wants to walk out of your life, let them go. No use chasing after them, eventually they'll come to a point where they want to come back and by then hopefully it's too late.

 

Relationship Advice on Vimeo

[Satu]

Nobody else can feel your pain.

 

Your pain belongs to you.

[Jonjon4728]

Holy **** that video was amazing

[seminoles84]

This video right here gave me so much clarity during my breakup(Almost to a month now, few weeks limit contact since we had a house and are in the process of figuring everything out). The premise of it and one of the lines is, IF someone wants to walk out of your life, let them go. No use chasing after them, eventually they'll come to a point where they want to come back and by then hopefully it's too late.

 

Relationship Advice on Vimeo

 

Awesome video! This should be pinned. Might put it in my sig.

[Jonjon4728]

I feel a lot better after looking at that video;

Look to my old post and you'll probably see why, that relationship was completely toxic;

I love the maya Angelou quote "is somebody show you who they are, believe them"

That pretty much sums it totally up;

I am going back to this no notact, I am sticking to it;

I had just started to feel a bit better had an appetite again before I said all that ****;

Idk I guess I thought saying it, if she knew how bad she hurt me, through some deranged drunk thought process, she would actually realize what she had done and said sorry and took more blame then I feel she has copped to;

But she didn't;

Not a bit;

One things for sure tho it certainly sealed the deal;

Never gonna be treated like **** again and hold into it for some false premise of love;

That **** ain't love;

It's torture;

That relationship was pure hell when I really think about it, when I truly look at all those basics and try to see it with my own eyes, it was absolute ****ing torture;

Breaking no contact was a bad idea, but it's over now;

Already happened;

I am strong enough now to do it I really feel empowered after watching that video like hardcore;

Truth is we have been over for a long time;

Somebody constantly holding breaking up over your head is downright manipulative, evil, and unworthy of the love I have to give;

No contact is the only way;

Damn I feel a lot better;

[seminoles84]

Glad you are sticking to NC. Just let it be.