macintosh1097 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Hi all, Here's what's going on. I met 'Elly' on a school trip in April 2013. I didn't even know her but I was mesmerized almost instantly. After the trip we saw each other in school and only talked in school. I didn't get her number so that summer went by without talking to her. When school started again we became really good friends. Soon she became my best friend and we exchanged numbers on Halloween. 19 days later she told me that she 'likes' me and we started dating. We were both each other's first lovers and first real relationship. It was amazing. We had so much fun and loved each other so much. We'd see each other every day in school, text all night long, and hangout on the weekends. We went to Canada together on another school trip ( We live in the East Coast of the US) and just had a great time together. We never argued and never really got mad at each other. Things started to slow down though this past October. Elly can't go to school anymore as it's making her medical issues worse. She has some severe issues, particularly with her skin. Starting then I could only really see her on the weekends, but we still texted all day long. I think the first real time I hurt her was during the powder puff game at school ( where the guys are the cheerleaders and the girls are the football players). We both went to the game but she was sitting on the wrong side with the senior class and we're in the junior class. It really didn't matter to me but I wanted her to come over to meet my friends because I talk to her about them but she doesn't know who they are. I hadn't seen her yet and i kept texting her to come over but she refused and got upset. After we left she said how she was mad at me because she was sitting with her friends and wanted me to with them. It didn't even occur to me that she hadn't seen most of her friends since she left school over a month before. I felt horrible for being so ignorant and not thinking about that. We stayed together though and things got better. The next big argument came after Christmas. I had been wanting her to get a skype for a while so that we could video chat since we can't see other very often. We used to facetime before we were dating but she got a phone that can't do that anymore. So she got a computer for christmas and she tried to make an account but couldn't get it to work. I asked her to try again but she refused because she didn't want to mess up the computer. Long story short I sent a text about how she never tries to do anything herself, she's afraid to take risks even though she's perfectly capable of doing things, and I said how I know more about technology than her father and brother combined so she can listen to me since I know what I'm talking about. I don't know why i said that. I didn't mean it. I just missed her and wanted to talk to her. She called me afterwards ( we never call each other) and started with " What in the hell is wrong with you?!?" She was obviously upset, I could tell she was crying. I hated myself for that. We didn't really talk much for a few days, but I saw her that weekend. We talked about it and she said she wasn't mad at me but she was disgusted that I would say something like that. I apologized profusely. She told me that her father and brother had seen the text cause they read it after they saw how upset she was. One thing she always wanted was for me to have a good relationship with her parents and brother. I'm a very shy person, very private. It took me two weeks to tell my mom that we were dating, and in the 14 months we were together I really never spoke more than a few words to her parents or brother. Saying those things about them didn't help our relationship at all. We stayed together though. The next time I saw her we were laughing on her couch having a good time, and she goes " serious question though." She proceeded to tell me how our relationship isn't as fun as it used to be and how she thinks we'd be better off as friends. I was in shock. I had been prepared for this the last time I saw her, but I thought things had cooled down and were better. We didn't argue, we talked about it. I was still in shock though and didn't really say everything I wanted to say. It really was a combination of what I had said and done in the past, the fact that we don't see each other, how she can't come over my house, and some other things. I asked her if we'd still be in the same situation had I not said what I did and she said she wasn't sure. She was sad too. She was crying, as was I. I hugged her and told her I love her and she said she still loves me too. She said how she still wants to be friends. She still wants to go on walks, hang out, watch movies, go to the movies, go ice skating, and even go to prom with me. I said okay, and left when it was time to go. We still texted the next two weeks. I had wanted to see her but other things got in the way. I asked her if I could see her to talk to her and she asked me just to say it over text. I didn't want to argue, so I did. I told her how much I miss. I said how she makes my life so much better and how much I love her. It was a long message, but all of it was true. I really do love her, my life has been so much better since we've been together, and I do regret everything I said and did that hurt her. We texted back in forth where I practically begged her for a second chance but she refused. We went to bed, and the next day I said okay, that I would try to be just friends. We're only juniors in high school but she is my life. It's been a week since that. The only thing that's really keeping me going is the hope of getting back together again. Her main point was that nothing would be different if we got back together. I'm a person of words and not so much action. The past month I've really worked on bettering myself and I can tell as well as my best guy friend can tell that I have gotten more patient, confident, and understanding. I haven't seen Elly since we decided to be just friends, but when I do I want to apologize to her parents. I want to tell them that that wasn't me who said that stuff. I don't have an excuse for it, but I want them to know that I was out of line and I am truly sorry. I have my license and soon will have a car, in which I can go see her every day. I don't see her during the week because both of our parents work and can't get us to see each other. There are so many things about her that I love that I can't find in someone else. I know that I'm probably in this way to deep, but I just can't help it. I think that the only thing I can do is wait. She's not the kind of person to go out and find someone else soon. Even if she did, she wouldn't do that to me. The fact that she doesn't go to school helps her not see people, so I don't think I need to worry about that anyways. I'd like to her ask her to not think about other guys for a while but I don't want to do anything that could hurt our friendship. Pouring my heart out to her like I did a week ago probably didn't help any, so I don't want to do any more damage. I think I just really need to wait a while for everything to set in and for both of us to see how it's like just as friends. She does like me. She does love me, maybe not as much as before but she still does. In our relationship, she was the first to tell me she 'likes' me, she held my hand first, kissed me first, and told me she loved me first. The first at least 10 months were amazing. Like I said I'm a person of words. I'm good with words too. It's actions that I shy away from. I think I need to show her that things would be different if we got back together. I'd like to start with apologizing to her parents, and going from there. I really took her for granted because I always just kinda thought we'd always be okay. I know I'm stubborn and I wasn't fair or understand to her at all. I'm really working on that and am trying to change because regardless of if we get back together, I still want to be that better person. Had I been that person to begin with, we may still be together. I guess I just want to ask all of you what you think. What should I do? I don't want to give this up, at least not yet. Thank you!
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