MonWedFri Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Preface: I rarely feel a true connection and chemistry (handful of people in my life), and this was one such time where I felt that. Admittedly, though, one can't force things. Met online. Chatted for a month over winter and things were very awesome. Mutually sharing cheesy jokes, sweet compliments, great conversation. Then returned to our same university. Went on an in-person date on a Thursday morning for coffee. Texted that night a little and the following morning. She was to be away for the weekend from Friday noon to Sunday night, so I figured I would call her when she returned regarding the following weekend. Call Tuesday night and leave a voicemail about a weekend date. The next day she responds that she received the voicemail and had a great time hanging out, but had to be clear about her intentions: she somewhat recently realized she has too much baggage with ex-boyfriend, and thus can only be seeking friendships at this time. I respond a few hours later saying "I understand, and that my intentions were only to get to know her and my wanting to spend more time with her because I felt she was truly great, and that down the line she should contact me if she was free (to date). Take care." A smiley face and an inside joke thrown in. The next day she texts me saying she is busy that weekend (perhaps for the same reason as her weekend away above: a sports tournament far away), but would be down for lunch or studying or something." It took me over 24 hours to respond to this because I was taken aback that she would respond to my, essentially, goodbye text. I decide to suggest one more hang out to get the vibe whether she was perhaps interested despite her caution due to supposed baggage. So on Friday I suggest a Monday lunch. She gets back to me on Monday saying "Ah I'm pretty swamped this week too." I respond that day saying "Alright.", pretty much figuring she is giving a hint that she's not interested. That was four days ago at the time of this thread. Is it unwise to text her again after a week or so to see if she's willing to spend time again? Should I risk losing my dignity by asking one more time and assuming she is truly busy or truly cautious b/c of spontaneous ex-boyfriend shizz. The date was very natural and full of laughs as well. I felt chemistry, and thus am willing to risk looking foolish, but I will by coincidence be in her home city this summer for work, so I don't want to risk any long-term chances. Is it worth texting her one more time for a truly special, truly stunning girl?
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 No it's not worth it. While you think she is a special & extraordinary girl, she does not think that about you. Sorry. 1
irresolute Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Stop insisting. It's very clear she's not interested and you sound overly clingy. 1
preraph Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 She's not interested, so just stop texting. 1
mightycpa Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Preface: I rarely feel a true connection and chemistry (handful of people in my life), and this was one such time where I felt that. It would seem this is a one-way street from what you've written. If you are capable of taking it really slow, then go have lunch with this girl. Don't try to turn it into anything, just enjoy your time together. You'll find that your connection will grow, or it won't. You'll be able to keep a valuable perspective if you go out with other girls (at least one) during the same time period. If you are not capable of this, and you feel like you've got to have all or nothing, you can try, but it won't work. It doesn't matter what her reasons are, they are good enough for her. You don't have to understand or agree with them. You just have to understand that she's in control of her intentions. Good luck!
Author MonWedFri Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 Stop insisting. It's very clear she's not interested and you sound overly clingy. A totally valid response. Like I said, it's not like I'm not totally clear-eyed that she's not putting out receptive signs. Thanks!
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