LookAtThisPOst Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 There's this woman at work, early 30's that comes off rather flirty to a certain extent or just overly friendly in nature. I don't date my co-workers, but she has a boyfriend that works in the same building as she does. They live together, go to work together, so they are pretty much up their butts 24/7 most of the time, including little love messages on FB. Anyhow, apparently she likes me...as a person, but there was a time she was disappointed I didn't go to the Halloween party year before last as I was unable to attending (conflicting scheduled Halloween parties). I was able to attend this time around as I didn't have a conflicting schedule. It was a small private gathering of co-workers and back water cousins of the Jerry Springer variety. Guess she was the only "hot chick" of the night I suppose. LOL Her boyfriend was there...and I have pretty good rapport with him as well. You could say I'm friends with "both' with them, but only a work relationship. She grabs my hand and leads me to the dance floor..which is fine, so I'm dancing with her. Knowing she has a serious boyfriend, I keep my distance. Then she grabs me and pulls me in towards her body and starts "gyrating" a bit...I keep my hands away from her... and she grabs my hand and puts it on her waist...I took my hand away and continued to dance in my own little area to maintain my distance... as I find that personally disrespectful if you're in a relationship. But that's me...I guess HE didn't mind because well...he KNOWS me...but I"m the one to likely say...after the party clears out..."Hon, we need to talk about your shennanigans at the party..." Call me old-fashioned, but I GUESS he didn't mind it as he KNOWS I'm harmless...but still...it's the IDEA of that happening that's a bit off putting. Anyone here agree, disagree? 1
MidwestUSA Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 They live together, go to work together, so they are pretty much up their butts 24/7 most of the time, including little love messages on FB. I was able to attend this time around as I didn't have a conflicting schedule. It was a small private gathering of co-workers and back water cousins of the Jerry Springer variety. Guess she was the only "hot chick" of the night I suppose. LOL I think your reputation as the harmless guy, who no woman sees 'that way', is clear and intact. Why are you looking at their Facebook messages? Up their butts? That's their business. Aren't you in your forties? A bit old to be concerned about others this way, don't you think? Lastly, why, in every post, do your use the term 'back water' to describe the people immediately surrounding you? It's petty. Where do you stand on the back water scale? Maybe it's time for some introspection, then you can either do more to fit in, or move. 3
todreaminblue Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I dont think its appropriate to bump and grind on a guy when you have a partner period.......i think intimate dances should be kept for private shows.....and that would be with a partner not a guy who you profess to like as a person...but thats me......twerking is the in thing now.....and the grind has been around for eons.....i wouldnt bump and grind on a partner for all to see..i will slow dance.....but not heavy pda on the dance floor...better to keep it g rated...you did the right thing by maintaining distance......deb
Kamille Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Who celebrates Halloween in February? Or is this something you've been mulling over since October? Either way, the arrangement between her and her b/f are for her and her boyfriend to negotiate. It sounds like they're both fine with it. So, really, don't waste your time judging the actions of others. 4
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 Amen Deb. Seems some posters here attempt to spin it around to make it seem Im the bad guy here. lol eaminblue;6145899]I dont think its appropriate to bump and grind on a guy when you have a partner period.......i think intimate dances should be kept for private shows.....and that would be with a partner not a guy who you profess to like as a person...but thats me......twerking is the in thing now.....and the grind has been around for eons.....i wouldnt bump and grind on a partner for all to see..i will slow dance.....but not heavy pda on the dance floor...better to keep it g rated...you did the right thing by maintaining distance......deb
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 If it involves me....then I reserve the right to judge the aforementioned action. Who celebrates Halloween in February? Or is this something you've been mulling over since October? Either way, the arrangement between her and her b/f are for her and her boyfriend to negotiate. It sounds like they're both fine with it. So, really, don't waste your time judging the actions of others.
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I agree she crossed a lot of lines. I don't care to dance with most co-workers. If I am forced to, it will be a very sedate dance at a respectful distance, not bump & grind. To behave that way with a colleague in front of a BF is problematic. I'd give this co-worker a wide berth.
kendahke Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I think I would have left her on the dance floor when her behavior became disrespectful towards her boyfriend. I would have had a talk with her boyfriend about how uncomfortable his girlfriend is making you because you are not interested in her advances. See what he says about it. Something to think on: could be that's her foreplay with her boyfriend. He likes watching her do that with other men then they go home and screw like bunnies. Who knows? Some people are weird like that.
mightycpa Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 If it involves me....then I reserve the right to judge the aforementioned action. True, but they are not your boundaries. You seem to be personally offended, rather than offended on behalf of your work buddy. I'm not sure why you would care one way or the other. 2
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I agree that her behavior with you was impinging on your boundaries but you are really overstepping boundaries by checking up on them via their facebook pages!! their relationship is out of bounds for YOU!!!
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 Um.....whatever THEY post, I see. That's how FB works. I agree that her behavior with you was impinging on your boundaries but you are really overstepping boundaries by checking up on them via their facebook pages!! their relationship is out of bounds for YOU!!!
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 Good point....I had to stop following her feed because she's always making public innuendo type posts about him. One time he said to me at work. "The kids will be at the grandparents all weekend, which means plenty of sex." I said, "TMi" lol I think I would have left her on the dance floor when her behavior became disrespectful towards her boyfriend. I would have had a talk with her boyfriend about how uncomfortable his girlfriend is making you because you are not interested in her advances. See what he says about it. Something to think on: could be that's her foreplay with her boyfriend. He likes watching her do that with other men then they go home and screw like bunnies. Who knows? Some people are weird like that.
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Um.....whatever THEY post, I see. That's how FB works. I guess you have different settings than I do?? I don't see all the posts that my friends post to each other unless I am tagged in them, I would have to go look at their page if I wanted to check up on lovey dovey notes between them. That is how I think Facebook works generally speaking!!
MidwestUSA Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Perhaps these people love getting a rise out of you. Do you make it as clear IRL as you do here how you feel about people such as these, and your back water surroundings? Maybe the boyfriend even put his girl up to gyrating with you. 'Hey, see what you can do out give that geezer over there a heart attack'. I don't know, but I have as feeling you're being made fun of right to your face. Care less about what other people do, and it won't trouble you as much. Drop people from your Facebook feed if what they post bothers you. Or is that all there is to do around there?
todreaminblue Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Amen Deb. Seems some posters here attempt to spin it around to make it seem Im the bad guy here. lol i am not saying you are a bad guy ....but some of the things you wrote in your post were unnecessary and judgemental of others..but i didnt sit in judgement on you but answered your question.....you put others off side when you write scathing judgements on others...back water people......hillbillies that sort of thing isnt very nice of you to say.......i have done this in the past...been unfairly judgemental on others..........so has everyone at one point or another......i really try however not to be this way......its easy to be judgemental and harsh on negatives when you dont look for good in anyone..... you are not a bad guy......but your words putting others down.....were unnecessary......i still think you did the right thing at the time and no she did not behave appropriately.........and whomever the party goers were ....or were not according to you....doesnt count.....you might garner more thoughtful repose from others.....if you show compassion towards others and not ridicule.....good luck....deb 2
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